What do you do when you don’t know what size bra cup you wear?
By now you have seen pictures of my matronly form, mostly covered, most of the time, and can imagine how many times I have been asked what size bra cup I wear. Especially by this crowd of breast worshipers and those lactating women lovers suffering from breast milk fever.
Being true to the openness and genuine love people here have for breasts, the question I normally dodge and refuse to answer began to be asked. I explained I truly had no idea what size cup I wear. Many times when I was shopping and would wander past the bras in department stores I would pause and wonder if I should even put forth the effort to see how large a cup was available at their display. I might be enticed by a piece of lace and think maybe this time I can find something big enough to fit, I would wander back to the dressing room but alas I would quickly discover the delicate frilly lacy sensual garment I was holding in my hand stood no chance of containing my blessed endowment.
After being asked my cup size for the umpteenth time the intellectual side of me decided it was time to have an answer to this question. I girded up my loins, poured a strong cup of tea and sat down to began my journey of discovery. I picked up my phone, launched the safari app and turned to the definitive authority of all questions, I asked Google. How to determine bra cup size was entered into the search engine. I half heartily thought this has got to be the silliest search I have ever entered and truly would skew the cookies matrix normally found in my browser. I can just see the ads that are going to be popping up now. To my surprise the results showed charts for bra calculators. Okay, I have skin in this game and I am ready for some enlightening results.
The top result was for Victoria’s Secret. I immediately became excited at the possibilities that I may be able to purchase a beautiful sensual bra that would complement my bosom and make the girls proud. I attentively watched the video provided and thought well this is simple, a couple of measurements and I will be on my way to a mail order bra fit for a night out on the town!
I grabbed my cloth measuring tape and excitedly followed the instructions to obtain my band and bust measurements. My band measurement being 40″ and bust measurement being 53″ I opened the calculator and entered the band width. Next I opened the bust measurement field and to my dismay the calculator only went to 48 inches which I discovered was a G cup. I was disheartened but determined. I may not get a Victoria’s Secret frilly but I am sure there is a bra in my future that did not look like it belonged to a Nun. On to the number two result on Google, Soma. I optimistically opened the calculator and once again scrolled down and entered my band size 40 inches, next I opened the drop down for the bust and scrolled to the end, 48 inches again was the maximum measurement option available, a G cup.
I was beginning to feel anxious, circus attraction kind of anxious. If my bust line measurements were off the chart no wonder I was not able to be accommodated by department store selections. Did this mean I was destined to live my life in tube tops under tank tops or would I need to shop at some specialty store and did they even exist? Remember I live in Idaho.
Maybe I did not want to know the answer to this question. I laid on my couch and stared at the ceiling. Just breathe I told myself. Reach deep inside to your Jedi powers and be strong. But a girl can only process so much at a time.
Being that I could not look at one more bra calculator and see my bust measurement exceeded its capacity, I knew I would need assistance on this quest. Where else would I turn but to those who would understand and accept an intellectual challenge for the sake of science. The ABF Heaven community, surly I would find someone to assist a damsel in distress.
I turned to the one person I knew would keep my information private until I was comfortable with my findings. The protector of a woman’s nurturing life force, her alluring form adorned with an exquisite bosom, respecter of virtue and guardian of ABF Heaven, Ethereal Skies. Plus the question had come up in conversation so I figured hey, ice already broken.
So I activated the Bat signal and knew help would be on the way.
I sent him a text message.
“So your question sent me on a quest. What size cup am I? I can’t find anything that fits so I don’t know. That did not set well for me so I found bra cup calculators. Problem is they only go to G and I am bigger than G apparently. So here are my measurements and you can let me know if you figure it out. Band measurement is 40″, bust measurement is 53″, non-engorged. This info is from Victoria’s Secret and Soma. Game on!!”
Then I waited, 30 minutes, an hour, 90 minutes. I checked my phone to see if maybe I had not sent the text. I sent another text wondering if everything was okay. One hour and 43 minutes later He replied. He had taken a nap and was waking up, he would call me soon. ES had been helping me find my way around the ABF Heaven site and would answer questions from time to time. I was sure he did not understand the urgency of this matter.
The phone rang and I immediately asked him if he saw my text. “What text?” Was his reply. “Umm the one about my cup size challenge.” I heard his spirits perk up, his interest was sharpened as any decent breast loving man’s would be. “Just a minute” he said as he scrolled back on his phone and found my game on challenge. He laughed and said “you have got to be kidding me.” I replied, “No I am not. I don’t know my cup size and I need to know but I am also afraid to find out.”
Being the protector of breasts he gallantly accepted the challenge. After only a few minutes his instinctual male powers of breast navigation was able to find a calculator to meet my needs.
His text message popped up on the screen, “Ready.”
I held my breath and closed my eyes while I strengthen myself in preparation of the incoming information.
His screen shot popped up. I looked at it bewildered. Do cup sizes even go that big? In my entire life I could not recall a single conversation with another woman regarding a cup size beyond H.
I finally knew, I was an M cup US/CA (JJ/K EU), umm….that could not be right. There was no way. Who in the world is an M cup?
In his excitement and thirst for knowledge he sent the cup calculator to his sweetie. He waited in anticipation for her reply. She soon answered back saying she too was an M cup.
He chortled in astonishment feeling sure he had just won some kind of trophy, a biological wonder had just been discovered, he knew two women who were M cups.
I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I was not alone, there goes my career with Ringling Brothers, but I was still reeling in disbelief.
For the sake of science I would need collaborative evidence to confirm the findings.
While perusing the ABF Heaven website I was diligently reading all of Rose’s lactation blogs when right before my eyes was a bra calculator link Rose said provided the best fitting bra she had ever had. I thought aha, this will have the answer I am looking for; surly this calculator will provide a more conservative result. It required multiple measurements and would be more accurate. I methodically took each measurement tingling with anticipation and entered them into the calculator. There were the results, staring me straight in the face. I truly measured an M cup. I took a screen shot and sent the definitive answer over to ES. I had moved through my stage of denial and into acceptance.
And that is how the first ABF Heaven challenge was solved.
If you are in need of a bra calculator as I was here is a link you might want to try.
If you have a challenge to suggest shoot me a DM and let’s support our community. Game On!!