What’s a Girl Going to do?

When a pair is more than a handful.


Audio intro!

What do you do when you don’t know what size bra cup you wear?

By now you have seen pictures of my matronly form, mostly covered, most of the time, and can imagine how many times I have been asked what size bra cup I wear. Especially by this crowd of breast worshipers and those lactating women lovers suffering from breast milk fever.

Being true to the openness and genuine love people here have for breasts, the question I normally dodge and refuse to answer began to be asked.  I explained I truly had no idea what size cup I wear.   Many times when I was shopping and would wander past the bras in department stores I would pause and wonder if I should even put forth the effort to see how large a cup was available at their display.   I might be enticed by a piece of lace and think maybe this time I can find something big enough to fit, I would wander back to the dressing room but alas I would quickly discover the delicate frilly lacy sensual garment I was holding in my hand stood no chance of containing my blessed endowment.

After being asked my cup size for the umpteenth time the intellectual side of me decided it was time to have an answer to this question.   I girded up my loins, poured a strong cup of tea and sat down to began my journey of discovery.  I picked up my phone, launched the safari app and turned to the definitive authority of all questions, I asked Google.   How to determine bra cup size was entered into the search engine.  I half heartily thought this has got to be the silliest search I have ever entered and truly would skew the cookies matrix normally found in my browser.  I can just see the ads that are going to be popping up now.  To my surprise the results showed charts for bra calculators.  Okay, I have skin in this game and I am ready for some enlightening results.

The top result was for Victoria’s Secret.  I immediately became excited at the possibilities that I may be able to purchase a beautiful sensual bra that would complement my bosom and make the girls proud.  I attentively watched the video provided and thought well this is simple, a couple of measurements and I will be on my way to a mail order bra fit for a night out on the town!

I grabbed my cloth measuring tape and excitedly followed the instructions to obtain my band and bust measurements.  My band measurement being 40″ and bust measurement being 53″ I opened the calculator and entered the band width. Next I opened the bust measurement field and to my dismay the calculator only went to 48 inches which I discovered was a G cup.  I was disheartened but determined.  I may not get a Victoria’s Secret frilly but I am sure there is a bra in my future that did not look like it belonged to a Nun.  On to the number two result on Google, Soma.   I optimistically opened the calculator and once again scrolled down and entered my band size 40 inches, next I opened the drop down for the bust and scrolled to the end, 48 inches again was the maximum measurement option available, a G cup.

I was beginning to feel anxious, circus attraction kind of anxious.  If my bust line measurements were off the chart no wonder I was not able to be accommodated by department store selections.  Did this mean I was destined to live my life in tube tops under tank tops or would I need to shop at some specialty store and did they even exist?  Remember I live in Idaho.

Maybe I did not want to know the answer to this question.  I laid on my couch and stared at the ceiling.   Just breathe I told myself.  Reach deep inside to your Jedi powers and be strong.  But a girl can only process so much at a time.

Being that I could not look at one more bra calculator and see my bust measurement exceeded its capacity, I knew I would need assistance on this quest.   Where else would I turn but to those who would understand and accept an intellectual challenge for the sake of science.  The ABF Heaven community, surly I would find someone to assist a damsel in distress.

I turned to the one person I knew would keep my information private until I was comfortable with my findings.  The protector of a woman’s nurturing life force, her alluring form adorned with an exquisite bosom, respecter of virtue and guardian of ABF Heaven, Ethereal Skies.  Plus the question had come up in conversation so I figured hey, ice already broken.

So I activated the Bat signal and knew help would be on the way.

I sent him a text message.

“So your question sent me on a quest.  What size cup am I?  I can’t find anything that fits so I don’t know.  That did not set well for me so I found bra cup calculators.  Problem is they only go to G and I am bigger than G apparently.  So here are my measurements and you can let me know if you figure it out.  Band measurement is 40″, bust measurement is 53″, non-engorged.  This info is from Victoria’s Secret and Soma. Game on!!”

Then I waited, 30 minutes, an hour, 90 minutes.  I checked my phone to see if maybe I had not sent the text.  I sent another text wondering if everything was okay.  One hour and 43 minutes later He replied.   He had taken a nap and was waking up, he would call me soon.    ES had been helping me find my way around the ABF Heaven site and would answer questions from time to time.  I was sure he did not understand the urgency of this matter.

The phone rang and I immediately asked him if he saw my text.  “What text?”  Was his reply.  “Umm the one about my cup size challenge.” I heard his spirits perk up, his interest was sharpened as any decent breast loving man’s would be.  “Just a minute” he said as he scrolled back on his phone and found my game on challenge.  He laughed and said “you have got to be kidding me.”  I replied, “No I am not.  I don’t know my cup size and I need to know but I am also afraid to find out.”

Being the protector of breasts he gallantly accepted the challenge.  After only a few minutes his instinctual male powers of breast navigation was able to find a calculator to meet my needs.

His text message popped up on the screen, “Ready.”

I held my breath and closed my eyes while I strengthen myself in preparation of the incoming information.

His screen shot popped up.  I looked at it bewildered.  Do cup sizes even go that big?  In my entire life I could not recall a single conversation with another woman regarding a cup size beyond H.

I finally knew, I was an M cup US/CA (JJ/K EU), umm….that could not be right.  There was no way.  Who in the world is an M cup?

In his excitement and thirst for knowledge he sent the cup calculator to his sweetie.  He waited in anticipation for her reply.  She soon answered back saying she too was an M cup.

He chortled in astonishment feeling sure he had just won some kind of trophy, a biological wonder had just been discovered, he knew two women who were M cups.

I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I was not alone, there goes my career with Ringling Brothers, but I was still reeling in disbelief.

For the sake of science I would need collaborative evidence to confirm the findings.

While perusing the ABF Heaven website I was diligently reading all of Rose’s lactation blogs when right before my eyes was a bra calculator link Rose said provided the best fitting bra she had ever had.  I thought aha, this will have the answer I am looking for; surly this calculator will provide a more conservative result.  It required multiple measurements and would be more accurate.  I methodically took each measurement tingling with anticipation and entered them into the calculator.  There were the results, staring me straight in the face.  I truly measured an M cup.  I took a screen shot and sent the definitive answer over to ES.  I had moved through my stage of denial and into acceptance.

And that is how the first ABF Heaven challenge was solved.

If you are in need of a bra calculator as I was here is a link you might want to try.


If you have a challenge to suggest shoot me a DM and let’s support our community.  Game On!!

32 thoughts on “What’s a Girl Going to do?”

  1. I had a similar struggle finding the correct size, but recently discovered the mod comfortable bra I have worn I many years… I no longer dread wearing it, and actually wearing it all of the time…

    Now, just have to find a sexy model… Definitely not available at any lingerie store I know…

  2. FN I feel your pain. Truly a struggle to find something that fits and makes you feel attractive. Once you pass a G cup most are like a medical device, like support hose. You might need it but no one wants to get caught wearing it! My Bra is on its way and I will give everyone an update. It is a little frilly, but the search continues for my dream bra. If you see one let me know.

  3. Nice story of two people sharing a common interest teaming up to tackle a seemingly insurmountable problem. Proving once again that we are better together than we are alone.
    Kudos to ES for his exemplary work and to Nurturing Bosom for sharing this information and story.
    Now if only I could find a shirt that fits.😜

    1. Gama so nice to see you. Some days you just have to breath deep and embrace what comes your way! A friend in need is a friend in deed. I am truly grateful for my ABFH friends. Hope your day is amazing!

      1. Same here it’s a pleasure always to see you on here and seeing your blogs, they make me dream of having this once again, it’s been so long since my first experince. I totally have to agree with you everyday just breath and embraced it and hope for the best always as well to whatever comes your way and never take life for granted. i lost many friends here due to finding a partner but doors are always open for new friends indeed❤🌹 have a great weekend and week friend🌹🥰

  4. T. C. I have been blessed with no back pain but have been proactive. Being a massage therapist I understand the need to care for structure when it endures additional load. The best help I have found is swimming. I swim laps for one hour 6 days a week. Not only are my breasts weightless but I exercise without their interference and am able to stretch freely completely unencumbered. The back stroke is also known to correct and strengthen posture and address low back issues stemming from poor muscle tone. So get out there and swim!!! It’s a win win.

  5. I’m the same size as you but unfortunately I suffer from severe back pain!! And nearly everything I do is a challenge!! I do love my boobies but not the pain so I’ve made the decision to have an operation in Sept !! Bye bye M Cups 👋👋👋 it’s been a pleasure!! I am taking lots of pics so I don’t forget how they look now 😂😂😂

    1. Suzie, thank you for sharing. So sorry to hear you are in pain. Many women do suffer from the physical demands the weight can cause. I hope your surgery goes well and you get the relief you are needing. Keep me posted on how you are doing.

      1. It’s not a boob reduction op, it’s a weight loss op (gastric bypass)…. I’ve always been really large busted even when I was a U.K. size 8/1o bottom half!! (Still U.K. 16/18 top half) But I’ll still go down to a F or G cup!! Hopefully!!! Still a handful eh😉
        I would never have a breast reduction op as the risk of losing nipple sensation and lactating is too greater risk for me!!
        I’m not lactating atm but hopefully one day I will!! Losing nipple sensation 😱😱 I couldn’t think of anything worse!!
        This is the lesser evil 😂…. I’d do it naturally but I have zero self control 😂😂😂

        1. Thank you for the clarification. I agree with you, would not be able to take the risk of loss of sensation and lactation complications. I am excited for your updates and hope your flight is relaxed and carefree.

        2. Great story!! I’m glad you found what you were looking for! I know a few gals that are a M cup. Also many that are K cup as well. So I know it can be hard finding bras that work. Take care 😘

  6. I’m not sure if this is beautiful or sad, you’ve spend your adult life not knowing your correct size bra, yikes. Since my chest began to grow, my family made it a point to purchase the correct bra size for me. There was always a discussion about spillage, band sizing, cup sizing, and comfort. In my adulthood and post partum, it’s my responsibility to ensure my chest is fully supported. No, not ALLLL larger bras are cute and frilly nor may we be able to walk in a store and pick one off the rack. Nowadays things can arrive within two days from online. Elomi, Panache, and Freya (just to name a few) have brought some change to the bra scene for those who’ve been blessed in the chest.

    As a part of breast health, its important to wear the correct size. Ladies, please get into the correct bra size. Those who love the female physique should be open to discussing bra’s with their partner too. If you notice your partner is spilling over the top or sides of the cup, inadequate band/strap placement, poor elasticity in the bra, poor posture; suggest a bra fitting. Beyond that, shopping with or gifting your partner a new bra is always a kind gesture.

    1. Bella thank you so much for your wonderful advice!! I have only had cup size issues for the last few years. I would have gratefully benefitted from resources in my area and am excited to use online shopping for current and future purchases. I am keeping an eye out when I travel and hope to one day walk into a location where sizes can be accommodated and sizing/fit can be reviewed with an expert. BTW my new bra has arrived and I am thrilled!!

  7. I enjoyed reading about your sizing journey, and while my size is not the same as yours, I suffered a similar disbelief when I finally measured to try and find my correct size, lol. I share the struggle of trying to find a comfortable and pretty bra, in a larger size than what is carried on the shelf in any store I have found nearby. Many blessings and much hope for your journey!

  8. A question for the bigger busted ladies here then. If you could have your breasts 3D scanned and a pretty lacy custom bra made to you exact size and shape, would you be interested in such a service?

    I think there’s a thriving business opportunity with that, especially with today’s technology. 3D scanners are now portable and very easy to use and that data could be fed straight into CAD modeling software to complete the design and pattern. Then to re-order in future they’d just call up your file and make more. If your size or shape changed, then you could simply go for a fresh 3D scan and et voila!

    It’s always been a challenge for bigger busted ladies to buy feminine and pretty bras. Usually the bras on offer look more like trebuchet slings. Not nice for us partners of busty ladies either when our partner feels less sexy because of her bra style.

    1. Okay I would definitely have to have a go! I literally wear old granny PE type bras that aren’t sexy at all but very comfortable. Finding the pretty bras in colours other than black, white or nude would be lovely!! The bras in my size are always full cup bras or minimising bras too!! I never get the choice of any other types of bras 🥺
      A bra made to my specific shape n in a style that’s pretty n lace n sexy??? I’m up for that!!

  9. Something I didn’t think of nurturing as I know with my clothes I weightlifted and my biceps are large as is my chest . I cant go shirtless as gets cold especially living in wisconsin in winter months. But I see your dilemma and will say nice bra from pic above.

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