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Michael you asked me to write another blog post so here you go.. you get your wish 😬 well not quite..
I’ll probably be booted for the comments below 🤷🏻♀️
I had a break from doing my blogs and was convinced I wasn’t going to bother to write another one as I was pissed off at the world…
YEP…..
You heard me! I was pissed off! Hurt! Just down right angry!
Angry at some things I can’t change unfortunately…
I was angry my friend and her children were taken so suddenly.. good people shouldn’t be taken like that..
I was angry at people being liars and arseholes..
Angry at men treating women on here like ‘just a pair of boobs’…
Angry at observing how interchangeable we are treated…
Angry at not being able to say what’s on my mind without someone saying it’s causing drama…It’s not drama… it’s real feelings… its valid… it’s a perspective… it’s having a voice.. it’s speaking up when you see something wrong.. it’s showing you’re passionate about things..
You don’t have to agree… that’s ok… that’s your prerogative….
Btw..I don’t mean when people purposely argue the point.. that’s just being a douche canoe..
I won’t be writing any future blogs and more than likely I won’t respond to comments on here…I disagree with the inequality of how people are treated here and I refuse to be party to it..
Anyhoooo the blog is done and dusted… there’s no point rehashing as we all have better things to do. I debated even posting this because I said I wouldn’t post in the forum again but seriously someone has to say something!!
Sometimes I look around and I wonder why there are so many men compared to women… then I see some of the comments 😳😳 and no one stands up and says no.. I read women telling you how they want you to interact with them.. and instead of taking this on board some of you choose to argue the point and speak for women.. there’s no need.. just take it in and choose to use it or ignore it.
In the words of James Brown… this is a mans world.. but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl..
Great song.. but Is this statement true? I think so… both men and women have their place in society.. just like in ANR but ultimately you men need us. Unless you want to grow a set of boobs yourself 🤷🏻♀️
Some observations….take them or leave them..
The site is seemingly becoming a cesspool for the creeps and sleaze bags. It’s turning something intimate and beautiful into something detestable..
There is sooooo many others but here are some recent forum posts which illustrate my point…“looking for any kind of abf partnership or play. Any woman can reply”
Any woman? Really? So as long as it’s female with boobs then you’re happy? That sounds like an everlasting match 🙄 I guess that’s ok when you think a woman is just a pair of walking tits..
“Male and lactating female (big boobs full of milk). Inquire please, and women only. Also, only serious inquires!!”
So now this is a place of threesome invitations?…Even if this is normal… this was posted by a man in the woman’s seeking… Do you not realise you’re male? 🤔 you can’t just say ‘I have a woman with me while I wrote the post so I’m an honorary woman seeking someone now’..
Oh and here’s a really delightful post…
“I seek fuller, darker, tan-brown areolas AND labia minora…”WTAF! Labia!… you’re even getting specific about genitalia now? 😳 Are we ordering women from a menu?
Obligatory apologies to the men who’s posts these are from for using them but wtf is going on?…didn’t realise this was fetlife or pornhub now…
To those reading along, I ask you this…have any of you actually taken a good look at the forum posts?… there were over 2000 men seeking ads (1700+ now).. the vast majority at ZERO replies… compared to 500+ each in general chat and women seeking.. (they’ve all since been culled slightly)
My thoughts are the same as I’ve been voicing for months… women are NOT an interchangeable commodity… ANR is not a fly by boob suck experience.. I wish people would stop turning it into a disgusting thing where women don’t actually want to do it anymore because they’re sick of disgusting pervs. Each to their own, there’s someone for everyone and all that jazz but be honest with yourselves.. you’re not getting replies as you’re literally making no effort and expecting a woman to just drop into your lap.
Most women don’t post a lot of the time because they get vile comments, then when they speak up, they get shut down or harassed and nothing is done.. this is not ok. A lot of women leave because they see all the creepy posts guys do and are over it.. don’t pretend like it’s not happening or say it’s the internet so it ok. Being on the internet doesn’t give someone free reign.. Women may stay briefly but they soon work it out and are out the door. We all know it.. how many have gone into hiding since all the new people joined? Like waiting out a storm I guess..
Yes there are a few who love the attention from anyone and everyone and there are some who just want casual ABF encounters, but the vast majority of people actually want a relationship with ABF as a part of it.
There may be a slight influx of new people since that ‘advertisement for lactation porn’ disguised as a documentary came out but that doesn’t mean people are genuine.. so far it just seems to be more people just wanting to treat the place like tinder or fakes..
Anyway, I’m done ranting. It’s pointless as nothing changes anyway. The site will not be moderated properly no matter how much it’s needed and women won’t be protected unless they’re flashing their tits to the masses. Which I refuse to do anymore. I’ve never been so glad about removing my face and pics from the site.
Nickchrome DO NOT COMMENT ON MY POST. Your comments and harassment is unwelcome and I do not wish to have your input.
Peace out all.. I’ll wait in the corner to be publicly admonished Or I’ll see y’all on the flip side if I’m removed.. ✌🏼
I know a couple of these references are directed at me so ill say my share. First off I think we got off on the wrong foot. Secondly good post and good read. Thirdly I actually agree to most of what you are saying. My comment about it being the internet. Never did I say that treating someone badly is ok. I simply ment that you can’t really control it. The drama part, you called me out in the main chat by name 2 days in a row over something we could have easily discussed. To add about the site. Everyone here man, and women are here for different reasons. They may not be what you are looking for. Im going to leave it at that. Now if you would like to discuss anything or hash out any other disagreement feel free to pm me which I have a feeling you won’t do. Side note I’m sorry to hear about your friend and kids.
Kazzie, I’m sorry you have experienced this. All women have a right to be treated with respect and I will just say I hope things get better. Thank you for taking the time to post this.
Brava, Kassie! I truly hope you find your peace. Good luck and best wishes!
You contributed much to this site Kazzie. Thank you for that. It saddens me that it did not work out well for you. I am sooo sorry about your friend and her children. Bless you.
Im with you Kazzie
I was so enthusiastic and happy when I found this site and thought I’d find a true ANR in no time as so many messages but all were either married and lied through their teeth to just get the experience ( luckily I never met them as they turned creepy when I wanted to get to know them)..
I’ve met a pathological liar c ‘comet’ whom I thought was my soul mate and spoke to for a couple of months many times a day, we chatted on the phone to and made arrangements to meet, he told me he was genuine sincere and trustworthy, to then find he was messaging people the same all over the world and even with a woman helping Her induce at the same time ( I’m
Sure there was much more but this is what is known) and when he was found out he still continued to lie and turned it on me..that was a very lucky escape from a narcissist pathological liar..
I’ve had lovely conversations but then men can’t hide their real intentions and days down the line reveal their disgusting Pervy nature and intentions.
Men (not all) but unfortunately the majority I’ve found have no respect at all and via lies and manipulation just want to get off on their fantasies whom ever it hurts…
So I went from an enthusiastic, trusting person to being bitter and believing everyone ( I’m sure there are some good too) through my experience is a manipulative liar not interested in a true ANR at all.I’m sure it has been mentioned a few times about a women only chat so all can feel safe and relaxed and ask questions and even maybe call a few of these men out and give their experiences so someone else doesn’t have to go through it and also the other way round, mentioning those that are true in their intentions..Maybe they’d think twice about antics and disrespect.
Obviously this wouldn’t be the main intention of chat, just somewhere safe to ask question about lactation or just life in general….
Im sure it has been mentioned a few times, and it’d be nice for the ladies to not just be breasts ( as some see it) but real people. It feels the site is focussed on just making men happy and using the few women to do that…
Hoping if people want that, one could be set up ( I know you mentioned that men will come in as a woman to gain access but that just shows the levels they’ll stoop to and I’m sure can be vetted from the inside). Men could have a man to man chat if it feels unfair.I see in comments Someone makes it all about themselves straight away. I hope people read and take this in with a discussion without the need to make it about them and to be defensive. What is truth is someone is their truth, why would someone try to argue that.
Apologies if grammar all over the place, writing on a phone and quickly.
I’ve only mentioned a few experiences above but there’s been many more. I miss taking part in the site and chat but over the past few months it feels that the main focus is on keeping the men happy with no regards to those that are enlisted to do that.
I hope that can change, even at the loss of members.Thank you Kazzie for your post. I’m
Sorry that you, me and I think all women here at some point have to endure this, like I said I hope that it can be seen and not defended.Kazzie I’ve enjoyed your quick wit, tart tongue and wonderful singing voice. I will miss you.
Spending a day in someone’s shoes can be an eye opener.
I agree there are quite a few that would be better served by joining different fetlife groups.
In the last few months I’ve seen some pretty tasteless postings. You’ve included a few.
The condescending talk at times is irritating. How can someone possibly have any idea what another is thinking. It’s pretty obvious that they didn’t.
I’ve chatted with many wonderful women on here about themselves and anr/abf. I’ve been lucky to meet a few.
Good luck to you in the future and take care.I apologise for my outburst, it was best placed in answer to many forum
Posts here. I had overwhelming feeling when I read your post! Apologies.I’m thankful for your post and your how genuine and open you are now and in your blogs, chat and forums in the past. You are missed
I completely echo your sentiments here Kaz. As you know I’ve dealt with my fair share of pathological liars, cheaters and attention seekers one of whom shall remain nameless because ultimately that’s what she is: a waste of a human being and an insufferable example of a woman.
While I understand a lot of people’s desires and preferences vary quite vastly, this site is still ABF-centric. At a time I did believe that the atmosphere and sense of community being cultivated here was second to none. I participated in the chat, wrote a fantastical ANR story and was generally an active member here. That opinion has changed really drastically over the last few weeks when I’ve removed the rose tinted glasses. The site really has become somewhat of a cesspool, and I kind of feel for those that either don’t see it or are wilfully ignorant to that.
I’ve been on this site for a good few years, going back to the previous iteration under a different domain name. In that time, all but a very small number of the women I’ve been in contact with romantically have turned out to be anything but sincere, and it would be quicker to count the genuine ones than the fake ones by a long way! By fake ones I don’t mean the women for whom I’m too far away or too young for. I mean the ‘women’ who for example message me, claim to have read my profile and when pressed on what parts of it they like (because there’s a lot in there) they fold like a wet paper towel and proceed to block me. There have been a lot of consipiracy theories flying about of late ranging from whether the women on this site have an issue with courtesy to whether or not the women are in fact bots. I can for sure confirm I’ve spoken to a number of real people from this site, even the pathological liar was a real woman. But being a bit of a conspiracy nut myself, I tend to look at the evidence and judgement for myself. I’m not saying correlation implies causation but there’s a lot of correlation flying about and if you spend a second to look close enough it really makes you wonder!
This whole idea that what’s said on the internet doesn’t matter or isn’t important is so bizzare to me. How people behave on the internet is a reflection of how they really think and most likely behave in real life. Just look at the comments section of a given article on the Daily Mail or Twitter post. That lactation porn advert a few weeks ago was a good case in point. People are vile and repugnant under the guise of anonimity because for the most part that’s who they are. The same goes for the public chat here and some of the forum posts; people are vile and repugnant because there’s no real consequence to saying what’s truly on your mind. I for one would definitely not like to engage with most of the people who frequent the public chat and most especially their ring leader, and several women have told me in confidence that they will never enter the chat for this same reason.
On to my more important point, an alarming number of women (and men to be fair) have voiced this same concern about the chat and the forums. This very post from Kazzie, and Pearl mentioning a women only chat which I’ve heard being mooted for quite some time and with good reason as can be seen from the evidence. How on earth have we, as a group of people looking for each other for the common goal of ANR, become our own worst enemy? The worst part is it’s always the few bad apples that spoil it for the rest.
The crazy part is I don’t even care that someone wants “fuller, darker, tan-brown areolas AND labia minora”. This just isn’t the place for that kind of request. There are a plethora of other sites where this kind of kink is welcome even, but the mere fact that the OP of that post thinks it’s something worthy of posting here further proves the point of the off-putting atmosphere that is currently lingering around this site.
For the sake of balance (I’m a Libra) I would like to say there are great women on here, some of whom I consider my friends. Some have since deleted their accounts, but some are still here and I’m in touch with them on almost a daily basis outside of this site. You all know who you are, I shan’t embarrass you here unless you name yourselves. I’ve had to weed through a lot of sewage to find you all, but just like Andy Dufresne it was well worth it to find what I hope are lifelong friends. It’s bordering impossible to find a partner for ABF, so finding friends that I actually have things in common with including a desire for ABF is something I cherish highly. Our friendship is the safe space for ABF discussions I thought ABFHeaven would be, and I’m honestly saddened that this site is turning out to be anything but.
Seriously nickchrome why comment when you were clearly asked not to. You are putting me off this site with your constant arguments and having to always have the last word in everywhere. Jeez I feel this site was peaceful until you came along.
Lee: “…because ultimately that’s what she is: a waste of a human being and an insufferable example of a woman.”
Really? Posted in a public forum by a man claiming to be some kind of women’s champion? She’s a waste of a human being?
Your account is suspended. Will be deleted shortly.
Nickchrome: quit the snide comments, please. You can just ignore things said by others, you know? You don’t have to be in the middle of every argument. You won’t be able to post in the Forums from now on. Your account will be “read only”.
Kazzie: I have already apologized to you in private about the things which led to you withdrawing your blog from ABFheaven.
But here in public:
I’m sorry I got snappy and annoyed with you. Tired after hours and hours of trying unsuccessfully to resolve a technical issue with the website. I lost my temper. I apologize.You removing your blog was a big loss for this site. Everyone misses it, I certainly do.
I’ll add more to this later, there’s more to say about the other issues you’ve raised.
IN ADDITION:
– I do not agree that this site allows women to be harrassed in the Forum by men. By and large, it doesn’t happen. And that’s as good as it gets on a website like this, “by and large”. It’s never going to be perfect.
– A few off-colour personal-ad-titles isn’t the end of the world. What is it …one percent? Two percent? Anything obviously ugly will be quickly removed by me. To call this site a cesspool is an exaggeration. Unjustified.
– the recent TV documentary had a really small negligible effect on new membership. We got a few extra members for a few days. And of those a HIGHER proportion were new women members, compared to an average week. Go figure.This is really everything I have to say about these issues and criticisms of the site. There’s a grain of truth to some of it, but not much.
This website – ABFheaven – remains EASILY the very very best site of its kind. It is head and shoulders better than ANYTHING similar. How do I know? Because I run it, single handed. I put ALL the time and effort in to keeping this site a relatively civilized, relatively safe and relatively sane place for everyone, especially the women members.
My first public posting on here after a few months of reading silently. I’d like to give my view on my experience here and if it might be different from other peoples experiences in no way is it my intention to doubt other women’s / men’s experience on the platform.
I have met fantastic guys on ABF heaven. Because of where I m based, I have only had very few live meetings with guys but for me the online experience was a great start to try myself out. I’m probably somebody who has learned through this site that I m not really one for ABF. So maybe like some men on here, breasts are super important to me but after all dry or wet nursing isn’t. Am I still allowed on here? I have had hot explicit exchanges with guys on here and liked it. While enjoying that, those guys were still respectful. I guess you weed out the ones who aren’t by reading the first sentence they send your way. Some of it is pathetic, so it just gets ignored. I felt worried about a guy early on and Michael helped right away. So I felt safe all the time. And you can always block guys. Being highly visible by a blog etc might be different. I can’t speak to that as I m not sure which reactions were considered distasteful. I basically want to shout out to ‘my guys’ – and some of them have disappeared which is sad – how much I enjoy / enjoyed your company and thank Michael for having helped me find good friends on here. This site has helped me tremendously on my journey and I felt it important to voice my gratitude. Onwards! And best of luck to those who have been disappointed to find happiness.
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