PSA to men wanting an ANR or wanting milk

[milkywhey]

I have milk again which I am excited about, and during the journey, I got a lot of unhelpful comments. Other women have expressed their frustration to me at receiving similar comments. And I am calling out the men specifically because I have gotten messages from women wanting to suckle and as of yet, they have never resorted to these lines of questioning.

Many just do not seem to understand that when I talk about making milk and you want some, your comments are not going to help you get any.

Here are some things not to say to a woman on here:
-how much are you producing?
-yeah, but how big are they?
-do they get bigger?
-do you have more pics from other angles?

We may enjoy compliments and support but that doesn’t mean we are here to be your personal pic dispensers. They have websites for that with paid professionals. Please use them. We are human beings. Try to be grateful for the pics or videos that have been shared and you are more likely to see more of someone or maybe meet in person which is the whole point of this site, not to just take pictures for others.

And we don’t know how much we are truly producing. I have three pumps which do not adequately meet my needs because I have to switch them out for charging and cleaning which is a CONSTANT process and they all have different pros and cons as far as noise, effectiveness, ease, which bras I can wear while using them. Only some of them have measurement labels, but here’s the thing, all of the milk doesn’t drop to the bottom AND more importantly, pumps do not always empty breasts. In fact, they almost never empty my breasts, and I’ve tried at least five different pumps. I have had milk for 2 hours of suckling after pumping a few ounces and it was still coming out.

Asking me how much I produce tells me you have not researched at all something you say you are very interested in and this makes you less interesting to me, even though I try to be patient. It makes me feel frustrated, inadequate, and less keen to share with you.

Asking about breast size, tells me we are not in this for the same reasons and you are a size king. Would you like women to demand your penis size and height? I am sure some do, but it changes the tone of the conversation.

Some things I suggest saying:
-I wish I could help you with that (buy or cleaning the pumps, suckling meets in a way that are convenient, buying domperidone which is a complicated process)
-You are doing amazing! You seem very dedicated
-It is very hot or admirable how much you want to share and your efforts to produce.

If you really want to have an actual ANR, then you should ask questions relevant to building a *relationship* with someone. I personally like a hungry suckler, but that does not mean I want to be treated like a piece of meat to be tossed around, yet unfortunately, that is how some behave. Please do better.

Women, please feel free to chime in, whether you agree or disagree or just want to add an addendum. I know I don’t speak for all.

[milkywhey]

I will add that you should also try to distinguish yourself in some way. A lot of men have no pics, even when they ask for lots of pics. Women get a lot of messages, so if you have no pic and we didn’t make an actual memorable connection, then I am likely not going to remember much. It isn’t because I don’t care, it’s because women get a lot of messages and if I don’t have a visual and echoic memory of you and some meaningful discussion we had, it will be like a dream that I forget upon waking.

There are lists of questions to intimately know someone better and I suggest you all use some or take conversation and listening classes, if an ANR is something you truly want.

[Simon]

The secondhand embarrassment I get from seeing how some people will talk to the women on here, and other sites. Makes me want to log off sometimes.

Well said.

[Cuppa Chris]

I enjoyed reading your post. I have to agree with Simon, about it being an embarrassment to hear how other men not only ask childish immature questions but also demand to have these self centred questions answered. You can almost imagine these guys typing what they want with one hand as they play pocket pool with the other hand. Terrible….
I think that for any real abf and relationship to work whether it’s casual or long term, there’s got to be respect and understanding that this is a real intimate connection and not just fantasy.

[Cuppa Chris]

Another thing that I find makes me laugh, and I imagine is off-putting for ladies (am I wrong?).
When guys post “I’m going to be in such a place for these couple of days, anyone fancy meeting up”
Ha ha ha. It sounds so desperate…..

[Sparkling 💎]

I would like to respond but sort of feel like I might be stepping on a few toes if I do. I don’t share pictures anymore for the reason that they are not valued by the person who is getting them. For years I had no breast pic even on my profile. Why? Because if someone values my inside self as a person he is worth talking to. If someone reaches out to me because of a pic then they mostly (unfortunately) turn out to be shallow and only looking at the outside me. I have not been disproven in this theory yet. Honestly no one has been impressed by my inside self enough to stay the course so I think my strategy isn’t working but I am ok with that because I definitely don’t want a shallow person even as a friend. Regarding the hard work you are doing to lactate..kudos to you it’s a lot of work and do it for yourself .. to know that you did it on your own without anyones’s help. It’s hard to find a guy willing to support a woman during the difficult times although they do want the fruits of the labor. If you ever find a guy like that he’s a keeper for sure. Best wishes, Sin

[Real ABF’er]

Very insightful, direct, and to the point 🙂

[milkywhey]

@cowboychris I don’t mind if they are coming through the area and want to meet and PM me and get to know me a big, video chat etc., but just a random call to all asking for boobs is not attractive. I agree.

@sind I completely understand where you are coming from. And if you are stepping on toes, then maybe they need to be stepped on, imho. I could not have said it better myself. Some men seem annoyed with the less glamorous details of the process of induction, but they are eager to take the milk at their convenience. I do not like this attitude much. It makes us less likely to share and open up which may be seen as a “game” but it’s just a result of the environment here. I am glad you are still here.

[Cailin]

I’ll add another one that frustrates me: when you start chatting with someone here and almost immediately the conversation turns into everything else they want to do sexually.

This is a site devoted to a VERY specific interest. 😂 Sometimes it feels like people see ABF/ANR as nothing more than a convenient icebreaker. Like, “Ooh, yes, I’d love to suckle!” and two seconds later it’s basically, “Okay, enough about that… I’m hard, wanna screw?” LOL.

For me, ABF/ANR can absolutely be sexual, or it can be completely nonsexual, depending on the person and the relationship. But either way, it is the primary interest that brought me here. I’m not using it as code for “looking for sex” or as a way to find someone for a completely different kink or sexual experience.

So when someone barely wants to talk about ABF/ANR and keeps steering the conversation toward sex or everything else they want to do, I start wondering whether they actually have any real interest in ABF/ANR at all. It feels more like they’re using a niche site as a convenient way to find someone who they assume will automatically be sexually open to them.

If ABF/ANR is genuinely your thing, talk to me about ABF/ANR. If you dismiss the one thing this entire site exists for five minutes into the conversation, you’ve pretty much convinced me that you’re not actually into it.

[Lola]

Well, since we’re apparently stepping on toes… 🤓🤭🙃

I suspect some men here would have considerably more success if they spent less time wondering what women want them to say and a little more time considering what they actually bring to the conversation.

The numbers are obviously lopsided. Women here receive plenty of attention, so attention itself isn’t particularly compelling. What gets mine is wit, curiosity, intelligence, confidence, kindness, a little charm…and a man who understands that sexuality doesn’t require abandoning all sense of finesse!

That distinction matters to me.

I’m certainly no prude. I’m on an ABF site, after all. But sexual openness and vulgarity are two entirely different things. “Tits,” “jugs,” and all the other charming little euphemisms don’t make an interaction feel sexier to me. Usually quite the opposite, it gives me the ICK immediately!

Sexual and vulgar are not synonyms. And sexy requires a little more finesse than either.

But ladies, I’m not entirely convinced we should be giving away the answer key here. Don’t teach the script. Don’t explain exactly what to say, what not to say, or how to manufacture the appearance of being the kind of man women want to talk to.

Be real quiet and let them talk.

People are remarkably good at telling you exactly who they are when they don’t realize you’re listening for it. Five messages will often tell me far more than fifty ever could once someone knows what I want to hear.

I don’t want the polished version. I want the real one.

So gentlemen, please…keep talking. Say whatever comes naturally. 😉

Tell me exactly who you are.

I promise I’m paying attention. 😂❤️

[Sparkling 💎]

@Cailin the energy is different between both types of breast feeding. For the really highly evolved there is no sexual greed at all and it’s just pure love because they are used to their energy being at the highest level of consciousness. In many traditions sexual excitement/orgasm was just a doorway to experience higher levels of enlightenment which has been badly misinterpreted. It can also be addictive if one is just experiencing the outside high. When we get used to seeing or moving our attention inwards the high is always there to experience as “love”. The easiest form of internal love we can all relate to is that of nurturing and that of pleasure which are both different. Nurturing is outwardly directed and pleasure is inwardly directed. Both help us feel full and happy.

[Funlatch]

This entire thread sheds so much light on the lost art of true, open, honest communication. While I am genuinely interested in ANR, I believe it is always a more pleasurable experience if you take time to get to know each other. There are not that many women in Georgia who are actively seeking an ANR partner, thus we should all strive to treat each other with respect…. always seeking a mutually beneficial results.

[Author]

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