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Had a recent meet with someone on here, I was surprised that having offered something that most men on here have tried so hard to find that i have been left feeling it’s the other way round, like he was doing me a favour. Very disappointed but an important lesson learnt. Many speak of this bond and connection but for me feeling that is not a result of suckling, this I was very suprised to learn. The point of my post in response to you is, even us women find men on here to be somewhat lacking, which is more a reflection on them than on is good women here x
Majority of them after exchanging pictures requests what your salary is and if it’s under 100k they are no longer interested in my experience or the others that keep chatting with you long-term are just coming on here to rub themselves while talking to orgasm because their boyfriends didn’t come over to their house for a quickie so they come on websites like this to get themselves off because they are so independent an don’t need a man
Dean, respectfully, I think we may be stretching the word “narcissism” beyond all recognizable meaning here.
Posting photographs of yourself on an adult website, enjoying attention, flirting, chatting, or even having absolutely no intention of meeting someone in person is not narcissism. Narcissism is not “a woman presented herself in a way I found sexually appealing and then failed to provide me with the relationship or access I hoped would follow.”
People are allowed to be here for completely different reasons. Some want an ANR relationship. Some want fantasy. Some enjoy flirting. Some like posting photographs. Some are curious. Some may eventually meet someone, and some have absolutely no intention of ever taking this offline. None of those people are doing the site incorrectly simply because their intentions don’t match yours.
What I find particularly interesting is describing other people as narcissistic while simultaneously deciding what constitutes the “right” ANR partner, the “right things to succeed,” who is “genuine,” who needs to “get real,” and apparently what everyone else should be doing for the sake of their own mental wellbeing.
That isn’t concern. It’s judgment dressed up as concern.
And the “sparkly jewels” you describe as tempting you but refusing to “indulge” you are actually autonomous human beings. A photograph is not an invitation. Flirting isn’t a promise. Attraction doesn’t create an obligation to meet you. And a woman deciding that she doesn’t want to progress with you isn’t evidence of a personality disorder.
Perhaps you’ve had better luck meeting ANR partners organically because that environment suits you better. Great. Continue doing that. But your disappointment with this particular format doesn’t constitute a diagnosis of the people using it differently.
And the dramatic prediction that you’ll now be removed for bravely “saying this stuff” is unnecessary. You’re not being persecuted for speaking an uncomfortable truth. You posted an opinion on a discussion forum. Other people may simply think it’s a bad one.
Sometimes rejection, incompatibility or unmet expectations are just that. They don’t require a psychiatric label.
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