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Good morning all,
I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there who has spotted likely traits of narcissism among the ANR community?Plenty of spin and photographs of how lovely we all are, but when it comes to demonstrating genuine desires for the right ANR partner, unless you are willing to join in the narcissistic ways, I feel like one is wasting time.
All of my previous ANR relationships have been discovered in real life, not on the interweb; based on meeting real people, getting to know them, enjoying time together and forming the great bonds which ensue.
I find nothing like that here, and definitely no willingness to actually meet up and do the right things to succeed.
Instead it’s a mere show of “Look at me and see how great I look.. I will tempt you but never indulge”.Absolute narcissism and faux messaging.
I am in this for the long haul and can offer so much to a prospective ANR partner by way of dedication, resource and devotion… regardless of how someone looks or poses in front of a camera (indeed many images here are not of the person concerned).
I have recently moved to my more northern home for the summer to avoid excess heat, so I have a new area to discover better and perhaps meet the right lady up here.
I genuinely wish you all well, but for your own sake and the sake of your mental wellbeing; please get real and don’t waste too much time as a mere voyeur of the sparkly jewels.
I now expect to be removed as a member for saying this stuff; and if that is the case, I wish you all well and the very best of fortune.
Dean xI don’t think you should be removed for speaking your mind Dean, you didn’t single anyone out, you definitely hit on some very good points, I will warn you though that there are a couple of Karen’s here that will be all over you,they are any time a guy says something in this room unfortunately
Having said what I said earlier I should probably add that there are also some very genuine very sweet very kind ladies on here who I fully believe have everyone’s best interest at heart, I know because I have met one of them, there are always going to be those who are in it for all the wrong reasons, and we learn to sift through them filter them out and move on to the good stuff, and that’s how I approach it with everybody maybe you can try and do that too Dean
Obviously Dean has had unfortunate experiences here. This can and will happen to both men and women. The only thing to do is ignore, block, be patient and keep searching.
I’d be happy to meet anyone interested in ABF regardless of any of those traits you mentioned since I have never met anyone who actually wanted that.
I’m starting to think there is no one in real life that likes it and everyone is just talk or role-playing on this site.
I think this site is better than other dating sites, a lot less fakes and scammers and if i dont find anyone near me i enjoy the chat and great pics 😍😛
Sorry you feel that way AsianAndReal. I know i am normal and have met a handful of guys from this site. There are a few things I know i look for in a person when wanting to experience ABF with an individua and i could really care less about penis size. Just like my boobs don’t define me, a penis isn’t going to define a person for me.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_supply
It’s generally obvious who’s here to play the supply game, but therein lies the twist: the narc’s are always the last to know. Because: narcissists are intimidated by and therefor dismissive of any psychological framing of them as narcissists. They have a natural, knee-jerk tendancy to deny and reject the claim along with anything else they perceive as personally negative.
Contraria sunt complimenta are their enablers, the supply, equipped with pedastal and silk pillow, presenting a boquet of anti-anxiety, unchallenging prose. This is easy math for anyone with 2 eyes and a pencil: for some, ANR means Adolescent Narcissism Relationship and as you can imagine, there’s going to be a lot less nursing in those.
Yes is my answer to your question.
Concerning the rest of your rant, there are genuine people on this website. Possibly more than on other sites. I have enjoyed chatting and becoming friends with more than a few ladies on here. Sometimes even lucky enough to meet in real life. They seemed real enough to me.😋
From my personal experience, this site is better than others as far as the people here. Unfortunately in today’s society it is easy to hide behind a screen and not be forced to face any true consequences. When you come across someone that it doesn’t work out with, you just have to brush it off and try again.
I find, in my experience, that human beings, both of the male and female variety, possess a vast array of personalities. Of course, this can include desirable as well as less desirable traits; as they say, Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. Perhaps, as we try and choose our Person, our partner in our life’s journey, these personality differences help us define what we want and desire in our relationship and significant other. There is a astounding variety of humans on here, I would say hopefully someone for each person, but with the male to female ratio, that would be quite difficult. As I am partnered myself, perhaps I view this in a more hopeful light than the original poster. Plenty of good people, with plenty to offer, go unmatched. Sometimes what the potential partner wants in a relationship isn’t the same as what you are offering. I’m sure there are also people with qualities that each of us find less than desirable here, as there will be in any group, but that does not negate the remainder. As I often say, it is best to not paint with too broad a brush. Meaning, please don’t ascribe the personality traits you have interacted with, or how you perceived them, to everyone within the group.
Your personal experience is your personal experience.
Over the years I’ve met multiple women from this site, all of whom real, beautiful, genuine. I’m so grateful for ABFH. No better place for our little community – in my personal experience.
Hookup culture rates success by numbers. By volume. Which is what you hear a lot about:
“I’ve met [a volume of] people from this site, and here I am, lonely on the forums again and I’m going to define that as success and healthy.”
Disagreed.
You may define success that way in hookup culture, and you may define success that way in the wonderful 1-off world of fuck-your-feelings, wherein all that matters is the volume of people you’ve met from this site. Which you would of course be obligated to describe as wonderful.
And where are these partners now? In hookup culture, that’s not a relevant question: because no one is expected to keep a partner in hookup culture. You’re only expected to count them.
This clear bias does not mean the following:
“Therefor, there is no narcissism to be aware of on the site, don’t worry about it”
If you’d like to reside on the wrong side of history with a bad take, that’s everyone’s right. The reports of rando 1-off meets does not “counter” anything stated about the chronic narcissism of this community. Read: chronic. Just look at all the deflection and distraction running above this post. It’s chronic. It’s subconsious, it’s knee-jerk. They can’t help themselves, literally.
Why are so many of this site’s supporters not with the so-called wonderful people of this site anymore? What happened to all those encounters?
No “bond,” I take it? Then they actually flex on predatory hookup techniques.
It’s interesting how people decide and choose to frame ‘success’ here. It’s very biased towards hookup culture. As long as you get a session, somehow, someway, you’re “ahead of the game” in the so-called minds of the community.
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