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It’s happened to me too. Some people get bored easily I guess. Probably for the best because if they lose interest that quickly they aren’t built for a relationship anyways.
Good conversation should be flowing freely. It should not be just question and answer sessions. It’s knowing each other.
Jon… your negativity is a COMPLETE turn-off… for everyone! Especially (I would imagine) the women with whom you hope to meet and build a connection. My advice, even if you didn’t ask for it, is… Stop airing your grievances and insecurities and anger by posting defensive, jaded and bitter (not to mention, numerous!!!) responses in every forum post you read. Your profile is so full of bitterness and negativity that I couldn’t even bring myself to read it all, so I highly doubt many (or ANY) females do, either. If someone doesn’t respond to you, or they decide you are not a good match for them… take it like a man and move on with your life rather than posting dozens of messages in the forums (where EVERYONE sees, not just the person to whom you’re aiming your rants) to air your bitterness and anger. Seems to me, you need to do some serious soul-searching to find happiness in your OWN life before you can ever hope to find it in a relationship. Good luck to you. And if you’ll pardon my obscure movie reference, I truly hope you find your bluebird of happiness someday.
MA Nick
That’s true. Sometimes it’s probably just a lack of interest or compatibility, and in that case it’s definitely better to find out sooner than later.NY Nick
I completely agree. I actually don’t want it to feel like a question and answer session either. That’s kind of my point. 😊 A good conversation should naturally build off what both people are sharing. But when one person shares, asks, responds and tries to keep that flow going while the other mostly just answers, it eventually starts feeling one sided instead of like two people getting to know each other.Creamandcoffee… in response to your actual forum post… i can definitely say it’s true in reverse. The last two “conversations” I’ve had on this site were both initiated by a female member, and their introductory greeting was a simple “hello” and nothing more. I tend to be wordy (if it isn’t readily apparent, haha), so i reply with a little bit about myself, and ask a question or two to keep the conversation going. But then I get one or two word responses (and no answer to conversational questions I might have asked), so i kind of give up and wait to see if that person has an actual interest in getting to know me. It’s very bizarre.
I’ve noticed a pattern since joining this site however many years ago it’s been now, and I don’t need to pussyfoot around the fuckberry bush of “curious,” because I know for a fact every one of you forum lurkers has “experienced” this, because: if you can read, you have experienced this:
It is always – always and consistently – the least among us, who present models of their experiences wherein bespoke instances of a gender come to define the whole, a strawman which is then attacked.
The least among us do this. Read: the least among us.
TJR please explain how im being pessimistic or negative on my profile, ive gotten good replies along with bad replies from people like trying to silence an shame me by telling me not to contribute an talk publicly in the forums….I haven’t said anything like this to anyone in the forums of the amount of negativity & hate that you just demonstrated towards me. Even the administrator Micheal encouraged me to participate ill put his message in quotation marks “Please continue to comment ..on topic! 😀
Your contributions are welcome.
All opinions are welcome.” unlike you TJR the pessimistic people angry at the world because they are lonely an because I have some facts in my profile that offends you but here are a few replies regarding my profile that I commonly get good & bad“Hello , I love your profile and I read it to the end I agree with all but one thing not all women are the same and men are scared of a woman who can work on her own car that has been my problem that and I am legally deaf but I digress I am most interested in getting to know you as money should not be the base of your relationship. Money is a material thing that can change at any moment but the man is what women should be focused on who he is as a person not his belongings as your belongings don’t make you who you are and that is who I would like to get to know. Feel free to ask me anything in the interest of getting to know me if you would like and please tell me a little bit more about you”
“Hi Jon, I really like your profile. An exhausting read but speaks truth:)”
“Hi Jon, Im Belle…Oh gosh you’re soo far….what does woman may have access to sex but the man has access to relationships mean”
“Wow your profile is quite the bitter rant! Im not interested and thank you for reaching out. Best of luck with your search Jon”
“Also, your profile is chaotic”
“I keep crying in your profile how you don’t have any money”
“I have a fiance. Not to mention, im not into a relationship with anr”TJR
Yes! This is exactly what I mean. It’s starting to get a little frustrating because I’m genuinely trying to have conversations and get to know people, not interview them or carry the whole thing myself. And lately I’ve even started communicating when I feel like the conversation is becoming one sided instead of just disappearing, because I’m trying to be an adult about it. 😂 But sometimes it feels like damn if I do, damn if I don’t.And I completely agree that it can happen in reverse too. I’d lose interest pretty quickly if I was asking someone questions and getting one or two word responses with nothing back.
TJR im replying back to your comment about me here’s something someone told me just now before they went to bed and if you don’t believe me i can send you the screenshot of our private messages of her telling me this in private chat if you think im lying, please TJR post some loving nice genuine recent comments people have left about you but sadly im guessing you don’t have any to post, and ill put in quotations below the last few messages she sent me before going to bed after our beautiful conversation…and just because your offended from my profile & forum comments doesn’t mean everyone is so please stop with these assumptions, please get a grip on yourself and please stop projecting and taking out your own problems an miserable life onto me because of my profile & forum comments that are all on topic with the original posters forum submission
“Thank you! Well I love hugs AND nursing, so we have those two in common! You would be a very loving nursing partner.”
“Awww…thats so sweet
Baby, im sorry you are sad. That doesnt feel great. You are a very loving, caring person.. you deserve someone wonderful just like you!”“Im going tobed now. Im tired, but let’s talk next time im on here! Youre very fun to chat with!”
I forgot to add Cream, what I meant by same thing happens is I ask questions just trying to get a conversation flowing and it doesn’t go anywhere. Like verbatim same as you 🙂
Jon put the fries in the bag dude
I don’t think you’re missing anything. I’ve noticed it too, and honestly, I don’t think it’s unique to ABF Heaven. Good, reciprocal communication seems to be lacking in the real world too.
There’s a huge difference between someone answering your questions and someone actually engaging with you. Curiosity is part of connection. If I’m continually asking about you and you never think to ask anything about me, eventually it feels less like a conversation and more like I’m conducting an interview. 😂
I’ve actually gotten pretty ruthless about it. If I don’t see good communication and some genuine reciprocity within the first three interactions, I cut it off and don’t waste any more time. And I don’t respond at all to messages that consist of “hey” or “fuck you’re hot.” If that’s the full extent of the effort going in at the beginning, I’m not terribly optimistic about where the conversation is headed. 😂
And reciprocity doesn’t mean mechanically asking the same question back. It’s listening, picking up on something the other person said, asking a follow-up, sharing something yourself and giving the conversation somewhere to go.
Maybe some people genuinely assume that if you want them to know something, you’ll just volunteer it. But to me, curiosity is one of the clearest signs of genuine interest. There’s a big difference between being interested in someone and simply enjoying having someone interested in you.
Well said, Lola. I couldn’t agree more! The best interactions are the ones where the conversation (and questions) flow naturally from both directions. Nothing intrigues me more than when someone actually takes time to read, respond, and contribute to a conversation with more than just simple repetition of questions I’ve asked. Although being asked “what about you?” in response to something I’ve asked isn’t a bad thing at all, either. But it’s definitely very nice when both parties are fueling the conversation!
What frustrates me most about some conversations here is that regardless of what one writes one wants and does not want, one gets overwhelmed by men wanting to go to fantasy about asking two things about you. What one writes does not significantly changes a conversation that is basically them getting off, when one specifies that is not what one wanted. Even more insulting is people who seem to have deeper interests then to turn to the same, and end up with them talking to you after months to tell you they are going to be on your town when they obviously lost interests or deposited it elsewhere for a point but they think they deserve to hit it whenever they want.
I find when u chat with women in here all I do is ask questions I never get asked anything back it’s like people have lost the art of conversation, you say hello how are you which is what you say out in public here you have send some ghastly long message to get there attn lol, so maybe next time somebody messages you you actually take time out to chat like you would do in a coffee shop, we are all here because we have one thing in common boobs lol women want to be suckled men want to suck lol so generally the chat is going to be about what it is you enjoy about it, if I wanna chat about the weather or world peace I’ll phone me mum so having a relative conversation about what we both want is relative so the conversation will be about boobs lol unless im missing something lol and no fantasy rubbish people should ask direct questions not going round the houses, it does save a lot of time like are you married? Can you accommodate? Do you travel? Are you wanting abf or is it really sex with girls with big tits? When are you available? These are questions that need to be asked? How many people you met? Do you meet or just collect Freinds to look popular? Have you a pic in the last month? Real questions
Just ask direct question get a phone number and talk to them they will soon run scared if not genuine! From askjng direct questions you find out more about somebody don’t mess about lol, ask will you fly to me to suck on me if yes carry on if no then block them it’s dead easy so I love a good chat about the weather, world peace flower arranging and skirting around the issue and not being direct and just wasting people time lol
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