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It seems to me that people come to this site expecting to find a partner or a relationship without any effort at all, I think overall humans have very unrealistic expectations of what it takes to find and build a relationship with anyone under any circumstances at all. It’s unfortunate, going through life with the expectation of everything just falling into your lap neatly sets you up for a great deal of disappointment.
I had been chatting with somebody on the site in Des Moines, about 200 ish miles from where I live. It’s not an area that I travel to often but my son’s great-grandmother just moved to fort Madison Iowa so Des Moines is an area that in the future I will be traveling through quite often.
This person and I spoke on occasion about the possibility of a Meetup, and just tonight I found out that one of my favorite comedians will be in Des Moines in mid-october. I immediately booked a ticket to his show and started searching for hotels. I logged into the site to let this person know that I would be in Des Moines in mid-october.
When I got to their message it said anonymous user, for whatever reason they ducked out on the site and never bothered to say a word beforehand. And that’s okay, it doesn’t bother me, but I do Wonder how anyone would ever find what they look for when they don’t give anything a chance.
Dang, Liz. The possibilities were endless. We have to give “it” a chance. Life doesn’t happen often as we wish.
I hope you make the best of it.
Fort Madison has a nice park and train viewing area.😉🤗Sorry about that, but it happens so often. Very few do it right way and let you know, specially when you chatted long and feel that connection.
Good luck. May be someone better is waiting for you.I learned to be comfortable in my own skin and how to have fun on my own a long time ago. I’m going to have a great time in Iowa, I’ll see a favorite comedian, have a great hotel all to myself, I’ll pack a variety of wines, and see what the town has to offer. I’ve been through Des Moines more times than I can count, but I’ve never had the time to explore it. I do know they have a beautiful state capitol building that I would love to see.
As far as Fort Madison, it’s right around the corner from Burlington Iowa, and while it’s unknown to most there is a lot of fun to be had.
I’ll be taking my kids and the great grandma to Fun City resort.
He missed out on a nice time with @lusciousliz. People create their own reality.
@treasurechest if not me, someone else. He wasn’t on the site long enough to give it a chance.
I agree. I see alot of ppl thinking they are entitled to messages, pictures and whatever it is they seek and then, turn around and get upset when the requests are not met. When in reality it was their approach or delivery and expectation of said approach. I’ve talked to many over the years, and the attitude has shifted with the younger generations. They literally have no patience and or very little true desire for any long term anr. Only “boob” play… with no strings attached.
Sorry to hear that Liz. Definately his loss. I agree with every thing you said. Ive also noticed that because im the only active woman here from Ireland that some men think i will just automatically meet them because we have this one thing in common. They are usually gone a few days later when i tell them thats not how things work. They rarely hang about long enough after that. A lot of people want their needs met immediately without ever thknking of the needs of the other person.
Patience and unselfishness. Two traits required to actually be able to communicate effectively and LISTEN to your prospective partner. It’s a shame many don’t possess these qualities, and throw in the towel/ghost.
Your description of events is all too familiar for me, as my inbox has a fairly decently-sized list of women who randomly disappeared with no word… by no fault of my own. If I had said anything out of place, was rude, unkind, impatient, or out of character in any way – I would admit that – but this isn’t the case. It is simply a matter of people finding someone else and not having the integrity to say so. Don’t beat yourself up about it. As silly and downright cynical as this sounds, it’s a numbers game. Cast your net enough times, put yourself out there enough times, the right fish may come to you. Keep your head up!
You definitely dodged a bullet. Celebrate it!
I’m really sorry to hear about this @lusciousliz
I’ve written about this before and I’m never certain if they delete their account or are removed. I suspect the most likely explanation is that they are married/partnered and cheating and are either caught out or lose their bottle (British saying meaning “lose their nerve” for those who may not be familiar with that expression!) and delete their account before they are found out. I also think a lot, especially the men think it’s Tinder for adult breastfeeding/ breast fetishes and soon find tht 99% of the women on here are not looking for a hook-up..
You do also get others of another extreme, who think that simply because they’ve been chatting with you (for however long), they are entitled to more or who become so obsessed that they think the chatting here constitutes a long distance relationship. I’ve genuinely had men I’ve chatted with but have never met who say things on the lines of “I just can’t wait for our first meeting when I can pull your breasts out and take them in my mouth. I need to suckle so badly”. This is despite the fact that I make it very clear in my profile and messaging that I am only looking for one Long-term (ideally life-long) plationic ANR and would need to find the right chemistry for this, then build on a friendship to form a close, trusting relationship before getting anywhere near suckling.
If finding the right partner in life is difficult (and it is, look at the divorce rates!) then I would say it is 10 times harder to find the right partner for a real and true, long-term ANR. You have to be patient!!
A lot of rebounders, too. Maybe this guy maybe not, but boy is it common. Especially with the promised intimacy of this, it’s such a draw to those on the rebound, moth to flame. But eventually: boing.
Lucy: “I’m never certain if they delete their account or are removed.”
The vast vast majority of “approved” accounts that disappear have deleted themself. By approved I mean they are able to send messages etc. I’m talking at least 90% self deleting.
Lol, you can definitely guess some of the ones that are removed… often the ones that send the foulest messages are magically gone not long after 🤣
Michael and I have discussed people deleting their profile before ever doing anything that would warrant a ban. The people that delete their profile after a short time often have unrealistic expectations, they are people that expect instant results with minimal effort.
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