From Hello😉 to Hell No😡

[Rumina]

@lolamayi12345

I think that its not fair to state every conversation has to be eductional like its either gossip or educational. Thats a diasappointing false dilemma. You know me better than that.

Yes there is a problem, we had a laugh and there is someone offering a further insight in a solution. Nothing wrong with that. Its not educating men: its leading by example: men and women. Men are getting inappropriate dm’ s and unsollicited pics and vids too. They didnt put them on here to laugh about!
I am all for safety for women, but I ‘d like the same for men.

And I do think people can change. And they can learn. I am in the business of it. And I believe in a more positive solution of all this, how impopular that might be. I hope there is roo.for that too in this family.

[Lola]

Oh, Rumina! ❤️ Of course there’s room for that, and I hope you know I’d never want you to feel otherwise. I genuinely enjoy your perspective, and I know how much you care about people learning and growing.

I think perhaps my point came across more broadly than I intended. I wasn’t suggesting conversations have to be either educational or entertaining. Goodness, some of the best ones are both!

And just to clarify, the original invitation was always open to men and women, sharing good experiences and bad. The men simply haven’t shared nearly as much, and I’d genuinely love to hear their stories, too. I certainly don’t think inappropriate behavior or the need for safety is exclusive to women.

What I was trying to get at is something I’ve noticed in these discussions. Sometimes when women share their experiences, the conversation shifts toward what we could be doing to help improve the behavior we’re describing. And while I absolutely believe in encouraging positive change, I also think there’s value in simply sharing those experiences without feeling responsible for fixing them.

I think we actually agree on quite a lot here, including the fact that people can change. And I certainly wasn’t questioning your intentions or suggesting your ideas aren’t welcome. Quite the opposite! I appreciate that you care enough to bring another perspective to the conversation. Always. 🩷

[Lola]

Jen, I really appreciate how straightforward this is! He’s friendly, tells you a little about himself, and leaves the ball in your court. I especially like that I wouldn’t feel any pressure to respond if I wasn’t interested. He’s extended an invitation, not created an obligation. That’s a pretty good start in my book!

[Cass]

Father and son? 😟

Some of these have been outrageous and insane to read but I’m still stuck on father and son?? Wow…😟

[Cass]

Father and son? 😟

Some of these have been outrageous and insane to read but I’m still stuck on father and son?? Wow…😟

[Rumina]

@winkingbird Thats exactly it! Just a normal message, no pressure at all to respond. Just hoping for a conversation and not directing that conversation immediately to boobs. Like he understands he is talking to a person and not to a pair of tits. Thats great.

@lolamayi12345

I am not offended at all. Just didnt want the female against male rivalry. In fact we all want the same: a safe and fun website for everyone. Men and women can actually help to make it even better. To me it means helping each other out, thinking in solutions instead of problems and above all: let people speak for themselves. Talk to them, not about them. (No mansplaining, no gossip, no passive aggressive hints for instance). Ask informative questions: the answer might surprise you. All about creating safety for everybody. Ask oneself if actions match what you stand for. Nobody is perfect.
Mistakes can be made, its what you do about it.

Disclaimer: no lecture intended. None of th8s is aimed at specif8c people. Im speaking in general

[Mountain Milk Maiden]

I work remotely and can move in with you.
(Thus has happened several times from men out of state and out of the country)

Um, sir, I do not even know you….

[Lola]

Several times?! 🙄 Apparently, you’ve been mistaken for a woman running a bed and breakfast! Do they at least offer to pay rent? Good grief!! 🙄

[Mountain Milk Maiden]

Hahahahaha! Offer to pay rent… imagine.
No it is their opener, and for me that is a non-starter.
I am all for someone relocating for themselves, but to offer to do so and essentially be moving in before any conversation is odd to say the least.

[Author]

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