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For me that could work both ways, it’s just as much fun making people wait as well as being made to wait. Even if I’m the one making someone wait I still would get satisfaction from doing so. I have experienced this in a past relationship not with ABF involved tho.
The build up was intense almost to the point of…. well I think you know where I’m going with that 😉. Which made the end even more epic. Another way of looking at it I guess, is you can build up anticipation without being in the same room, you can just be at work thinking about suckling or being sucked. That when it happens you appreciate it more I could be wrong with that but that’s what I think
Very interesting chat, I fall
More like the Deaf Guy, but having been on FetLife a bit back when it did have some level of ANR communities, but I found them inactive and even had the thought at times that even though this was a “fetish” that perhaps it does not fit too well amongst the BDSM and other things. Your article definitely has me rethinking that kind of thought process about how these interests do overlap and it can be much more complex than my initial assessment.I do also enjoy the mental and switch aspects that have been discussed. I like the idea very much of being able to sort of seamlessly and smoothly slide between roles or positions in terms of power shall we say. I have also been curious recently about ways of delayed gratification and games to play in the bedroom that could of course include ANR but also myself being in a sub sort of
Role and under direction of the woman. I think this one of the dimensions that can be added to ABF. I wouldn’t be closed off to mild pain or even those aspects amongst the pleasure but I enjoy this chat and you all kind of articulating how that pedestrian or common definition of BDSM is limiting and frankly incomplete and somewhat inaccurate.Very great topic and discussion, I am happy to be included and hear all your opinions
YES, Bobbi! I think the willingness to actually talk about what you want, introduce things gradually and figure each other out is such a huge part of what makes any of this work.
And I’m completely with you on the no judgment. We’re already hanging out in a community devoted to something most of the outside world doesn’t exactly understand. 😂 We of ALL people should know better than to clutch our pearls over somebody else’s yum.
But now you’ve gone and called BDSM an “AMAZING addition” to ANR, and I feel like you can’t just drop that little nugget and walk away. 🤭 Care to elaborate, my friend?🩷
I really like the way you’ve framed this, especially the distinction between something you occasionally do and something that becomes part of how two people relate to one another.
And YES to your last point. I’ve always found it fascinating that submission can be especially appealing to people who spend most of their lives being capable, responsible and very much in control. There’s something very different about surrender when it comes from someone who is perfectly capable of holding the reins herself. 🤭
I think that may also be why trust becomes so important. If this is woven into the relationship rather than something you simply turn on for an evening, you’re trusting someone with a much larger part of yourself.
I wonder if you even really choose that kind of dynamic, or if sometimes you meet someone and realize it was sitting there between you all along. 🩷
@anroc 🤗
Oh, you’re very welcome! And if you’re new to all of this, keep that open mind and hang around. There are some really interesting people here with VERY different perspectives, which is half the fun.
I’m still learning plenty myself. I just happen to enjoy asking the questions that get everyone talking. 🤭😂
@gardenman 🌻🌻
Okay, THAT makes more sense to me. So it isn’t really about who has control for you as much as knowing how to build the anticipation.
And I completely agree that it can start long before two people are even in the same room. Sometimes your imagination can do FAR more damage than anything actually happening in front of you.😉
There’s also something deliciously mischievous about knowing you’ve put an idea in someone’s head and then just leaving it there to simmer.🔥🔥🔥
I’m beginning to think you might be considerably more trouble than you first let on, Paul. And now I’m wondering if you knew exactly what you were doing when you answered my question. 😉❤️
I LOVE that this conversation actually made you rethink the overlap a little. That’s exactly why I enjoy these discussions.
And I’m very much with you on the switch aspect. The ability to move naturally between taking control and giving it up is FAR more interesting to me than feeling permanently assigned to one side. There’s something about that fluidity that just makes sense. 🤭
The delayed gratification piece is interesting too, especially because so much of it is mental. Anticipation can become its own form of play long before anyone actually does anything.
I think that’s really the larger point for me. Once you stop reducing BDSM to the stereotypical physical stuff, you realize how enormous that world actually is and how naturally parts of it can overlap with ABF.
And I love that you came into the conversation thinking they might not fit together and are leaving it thinking, “Hmmm, maybe I need to reconsider this.” 😂🤭😉
Well Lola i can elaborate a little and when I say that BDSM can be added to ANR i mean subtle things to begin with blindfold silk wrist ties feathers and toys and i think its extremely exciting when you and your partner discover how much you trust each other and it brings a whole new perspective on what most people assume is BDSM. And each adventure you can take it to another safe level. Its just amazing when you discover each other turn ons.
I try not to be sexually shaming unless it involves health and safety like what people term “breath play” or anything that involves those that can’t consent, but there are some very toxic patterns in the spaces that such discussions take place and where such people meet one another.
I am personally interested in the psychological healing aspect, after reading and researching a lot about post traumatic stress disorders. I think it could be interesting to explore, but I also find that some people use these new terms to kind of put a shine on what they are doing, when they have no intention of really deep introspection or ethical considerations.
Lastly, I think that with anything, whether it be adult breastfeeding, hucow, or maybe some kind of romantic attraction to clowns (I’m sure there is someone), people might LABEL something the same, but have a totally different idea of what that means, so as always, good communication is vital.
@softandsensual🩷🌸🫶🏻
Ohhh Bobbi, YES! I think the discovery part may be one of my favorite things about all of this. Learning someone slowly, finding out what makes them tick, realizing there are things you both enjoy that maybe neither of you expected. That kind of trust and curiosity can make things so much more interesting.
And I really like what you said about taking each adventure to another safe level. There’s no rush and no predetermined destination. You just keep discovering each other and deciding together where you want to go next.
Although now I’m even MORE convinced you have some stories, my friend! 😉
So how does this work..? Do I analyze each experience for whether it fits into the label of one or another.?
Am I being a B or a D or S .. what if I don’t want to be a B but feel like I am being one?
Is that going to pull me out of enjoying the moment? When do we actually get out of our minds, labels, classifications etc. The more we use our thoughts, the more we don’t get the benefit of the bliss that we were meant to from sex or abf or any other passionate thing we do.
That’s all I am saying .. pls don’t jump down my throat for asking questions ..
Gurl
Now we are talking. I’ve fairly recently discovered BDSM and it truly resonates with me.
My last dynamic I incorporated ABF and it was absolutely great. DM is you want to chat more.I haven’t practiced enough BDSM or any if I’m aware of. I never had anybody that fun 🥴
As far as ABF I do believe there is sprinkles of BDSM into it. There are a lot of variables too
If a submissive woman who breastfeeds her dominant partner does she become dominant?
I use to have a beautiful ginger who had probably G size cup, I would become totally submissive in a sense that I would unpack her chest and she would sit on the edge of my bed saying things like “mmhmm I know why you missed me now”
And when the goods were out I would absolutely ravage her. Im talking primal hungry animal. The strange thing she wouldn’t even flinch when I would bite, pull, and chew (chew aggressively)on her very soft breast. Matter fact I would look up and she would just be smiling down at me. Weirdly enough she once requested I just lick them.On a seperate encounter a very short very well maintained single mom I still text every once in awhile would want me to control the situation and feed on her but in a soft and slow manner.
ABF/BDSM are more related than I had thought before.
Maybe one day I will be lucky enough to experience it with a woman who has enough experience in both.
I like a lovely intelligent lady that knows what she wants and how to express it 😉
Take me to a dungeon, tie me up and breastfeed me, or let me tie you up, surrender your breasts to be worshipped.
The endless possibilities are so amazing, throw in the hucow side as well and there’s yet more possibilities, ideas, fantasies.
Always talk to your partner with what is acceptable.
For me, I’m definitely a Dom. Been to lots of BDSM parties. Witnessed lots, been involved in lots.
Abf and BDSM does mix very well.
Thanks Lola May.I think your point about labels is SO true. Two people can say they’re into the exact same thing and mean something completely different by it. Heck, that’s probably true of half the people on this site.
And I’m with you on the “healing” language too. I absolutely believe some of these experiences can be healing, but I’m a little wary of calling something healing just because we want it to be. The people involved, the trust, the intentions and how you actually treat each other matter a whole lot more to me.
Which is probably why communication keeps coming up over and over in this conversation. You really do have to know who you’re dealing with and good communication is the key to that piece.
And now I’m dying over the clown thing. 😂 Somewhere there is a kinky clown reading this thinking FINALLY, MY PEOPLE. 🤡😂
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