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I’ve noticed a pattern since joining this site about a month ago, and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced it.
A lot of conversations start with me asking questions to get to know someone, they answer, and then… nothing. They never really ask me anything back. The conversation becomes me carrying it until I eventually stop, and that’s usually when it dies.
I’m not looking for an interview or twenty questions. I just think if you’re genuinely interested in someone, wouldn’t you naturally be curious about them too?
What surprises me is that ANR is built on communication, trust, and learning each other’s wants, needs, and boundaries. So it seems odd to me when the conversation never really becomes mutual.
I’m especially curious to hear the men’s perspective. Is this something you genuinely don’t realize you’re doing? Do you assume women will just volunteer information about themselves without being asked? Or do you think the conversation has been balanced?
Maybe I’m missing something, but I’d honestly like to hear how others see it.
Yes this happens to men often especially if pictures are not exchanged up front, then after exchanging the woman becomes distant, silent or blocks you completely. And yes some women become overwhelmed with the messages they get and dont respond and or close their account completely
If there’s an imbalance in some form, one or both will likely pull back, which is a tipping point. Either there’s a final exchange acknowledging that, or more likely the thread falls below the fold. Or someone feels offended (typically the man) or creeped out/unsafe (typically but not always the woman). On a site like this, interest in the theme of the site isn’t necessarily a sign of connection, so this phenomenon is probably more common here. It’s part of the sorting hat.
I definitely believe that happens too, and I can see how that would be frustrating.
I was actually more curious about something a little different. From the male perspective, when you’re genuinely interested in someone, do you naturally ask questions to get to know her? Or do you expect she’ll just volunteer information about herself? I’m curious because that’s the pattern I’ve been running into.
Techie
That’s a good point about people pulling back when things feel imbalanced. I think my curiosity is more about what creates that imbalance in the first place. Specifically, when someone is interested, do they realize they aren’t asking anything about the other person, or is that just a different communication style?I ask lots of stuff and have a few people ive been talking to for a few weeks now to hopefully relocate to one another after about a year etc so every few days or sometimes a few days in a row we will talk an stuff by talking about lots of different things like about breastfeeding fantasies to like what movie we might each watch that night etc kinda pretending we were already kinda hanging out is when yall are vibing together 💜… i even messaged you a few times Creamandcoffee over the course of a few weeks im literally only a few hours away from you,but no response until i gave up on you so I guess it goes both ways on here not just from the males and yes if a person is interested in you they will want to ask you many things and just wanna talk an communicate with you because its getting attention and that’s how you start getting a stronger attraction to someone when you communicate an get attention remember the best way to receive love is to give….which is both interacting not just one side sending a bunch of messages with no returns like you have been doing…..but whatever im just trying to answer honestly from my perspective.
Jon, since you chose to make our private interaction part of the public discussion, I’ll clarify it publicly.
Yes, you messaged me before. The conversation didn’t continue because the dynamic wasn’t a fit for me. I’m not interested in fast forwarding into fantasies about relocating, pretending we’re already together, or building an imagined relationship before there’s even a real connection.
Living a few hours away also doesn’t automatically make someone a match.
My post wasn’t saying women never stop replying or that men are the only ones who experience one sided conversations. It was specifically about mutual curiosity and whether both people are actually trying to get to know each other.
If I stop engaging, there’s usually a reason. Compatibility matters just as much as effort.
Lmfao you say all that now but we never even talked in the first place you never once messaged me back so how do you know that you didn’t like me because of all that fantasy pretending stuff you had mentioned if you didn’t even know until I posted it here ?
I don’t think you actually read my first posting an just skimmed through it so I guess that says a lot about you , maybe this is why people stop responding to you because your not actually reading there messages
Im not fantasizing about relocating im actually trying to relocate to someone i meet on here to have an actual breastfeeding relationship with after about a year of talking if they are very far away like most people on here im sorry that my original posting didn’t clarify that so im just willing to make a life change for something i really want and it kinda sucks your not willing to do the same for someone you like
Jon, I honestly don’t remember whether we ever had an actual conversation, and I’m not going to pretend I do.
What I can say is that if you messaged me several times and I didn’t respond, then whatever was being sent clearly wasn’t something I felt drawn to engage with. That happens. Not every message turns into a conversation, and not every person is going to be a match.
What I don’t appreciate is you taking a general discussion and turning it into a public assessment of my character by saying this “says a lot about me” or suggesting this is why people stop responding to me.
You’re entitled to your perspective, and I’m entitled to mine. We clearly approach connection very differently, and that’s okay.
But respectfully, don’t make assumptions about me because I didn’t respond to you.
Im only making assumptions based on how you didn’t even read my first posting on here lmfao I even answered your question about (when someone is interested, do they realize they aren’t asking anything about the other person) but you don’t care about that, you seem to only care about yourself and I answered everything honestly with nothing made up so im sorry if that offended you 🤎💜💙🩵
Please for everyone on here what is a proper message to someone on here ? Please give us an example….
Jon, disagreeing with your interpretation doesn’t mean I didn’t read what you wrote, and there’s no need to turn a discussion about communication into personal comments about my character.
You shared your perspective, I shared mine, and we clearly don’t see it the same way. That’s perfectly fine. I’m going to leave it there. Take care.
You didn’t just disagree you clearly said stuff that was incorrect and not true, but if you wanna pretend like you didn’t your free to gaslight yourself all you want
Your literally lactating with photos of using breastpumps looking: for both male & female and your complaining about the other people not being interested in you by not asking anything about you either you have a big problem or everyone else has the problem so if your unable to find anyone to breastfeed while literally being a lactating woman than I don’t know what to think for the rest of everyone else on this website i guess its a loss cause
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