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There was a time growing up when getting mail, any mail, was dead exciting. Sadly over they years a combination of bills, circulars, spam and work email has pretty much killed that off, except for a few joyfully specific occasions.
One of those occasions is seeing an email with [ABF Heaven] in the subject line. Someone’s seen my profile and is reaching out to me! Who could this be? Could this be the start of something good? Oh, the antici…
So you eagerly log in and click open the message and start reading…
“Hey there! 🙂
I’ve just read your profile and…”
…and then realise they haven’t read your profile at all. Or at least no more than a cursory glance. Because if they had read it they wouldn’t have written what they have. Hell, in my case they probably wouldn’t have sent me any message at all.
And that got me thinking. Given how many I get like that, how many other messages have these guys and others like them sent that are instantly dismissed because they just didn’t read a persons profile properly? Given how frequently I see guys complaining that there are so few women on sites like this, you’d think they’d make sure each and every introduction was carefully hand crafted for each individual to best increase the chances of a positive response. But alas, no.
So come on guys, give those profiles the due diligence they deserve. Take a good look and make sure you know as best you can just who you’re sending that message to. And I know, I know, profile pages don’t always give you a huge amount to go on, but I know for a fact that when you’re sending *me* a message about wanting to suckle, you’ve missed one crucially important detail…
Hi Cin,
Just asking : I recently suspended *email notifications* for Unread Private Messages. (PMs can of course be read on the site itself). So you should not be receiving emails about PMs. Can you confirm?
Also… thanks for using “dead exciting” … made me all homesick for the north, where I’m from originally.😁
The emails in question were notifications of new friendship requests rather than PM’s.
Haha, I nearly took that out as well!
Ok thanks.
Re. your original post –
Unfortunately there are guys who will simply do a search, and then send a Friends request to anyone they think is female, just from the avatar/pic alone. They won’t bother reading the profile.You might try changing your pic? Might help, might not.
Yeah, which makes me wonder why they don’t just click the ‘Female’ box under search criteria. Still, the point still stands; if you actually want a reply, pay some attention and make some effort, don’t just click and paste!
Speaking of profile criteria, have you thought about adding some non-binary gender options to make the site more inclusive?
This is kind of funny, actually. Call it experimentation, but it exposes the online behavior of many… which is often disappointing to so many women.
I experiment, too. I wrote a long, detailed profile; partially to weed out many of the boneheads you guys are referring to. It also weeds out (tires out? lol) the airheads that simply aren’t interested in communicating; mostly disingenuously looking for cheap thrills at the cost of womens’ time. I can honestly say it does work! lol
Maybe it’s a form of trolling? Fun, none the less.
Brittany, you could also add the “I’m not a robot” test: Deep within your About Me text, add the phrase “I will only respond to messages which begin with the word BANANA” or similar. That’ll weed em out!
This is pretty funny. I wonder what they are checking box wise
when they searchMy profile has don’t send me a friend request I will not accept if we haven’t talked… I have more friend request than a care to admit. I don’t accept them.
Some get milk/breast drunk. 🤷🏽♀️
Well written but;I was just thinking about this scenerio this Morning.
There is simply not enougb Women on this site. Psychologicaly biologicaly, for better or for worse ; the Women will disparringly pass a man up because the ratios are disproportionately in their favor.
Basically if you sneeze she’ll simply move on to the next opportunity without getting to know who you are on a whim frivolously. Because the numbers are so disproportionate men/women ratio.
@blackharlemmann Yeah, that’s kinda my point. Aside from the fact that these are real people we’re talking about and not just numbers, given there are so few women compared to men in places like this, surely that gives people time to craft messages that are going to stand out? Of all the environments where a 2-line cut and paste scatter gun approach is going to work (and I can’t think of many where it would), this is not one.
The funny thing is that when women message me 95% of the time their message is just “Hey” or some variation of that 😆
Usually hand crafting a long message is a waste of time and less effective in practice for many reasons. The distance and the photo is usually what gives or doesn’t give results in terms of initial interest to set up a face to face meet.
Online conversation in general is a waste of time outside of the very basics and setting up a face to face meet, since you have 0 idea about what a person is actually like from just chatting online.
I can just as easily copy paste a 20 sentences message and plug in your name and one line in your profile.
Long personalized messages usually just result in a lot of wasted time or women replying with “Hey, sounds good” and ending up in the same place as if you just said “Hey”.
I want to add one more point; and I respect all sexual orientations grew up in a gay community in Lower Manhattan…. Alot of the Women in this group are also Gay or Bi. I don’t think no matter how well crafted you create your message; it’s still not going to be received well. I’m simply waiting for an influx of Women to join the site, hopefully within a year or so. Because there is simply not enough Women at the moment to communicate to. Love the premise of the site so im sticking around.
Or a private message they doesn’t even begin with hi just what is your kik? Really? I don’t know you. 🙄😩🤣🤣
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