My intro to ANR

This post is by Lillian.

I was 16 when I fell in love for the first time. Although, to be fair… “fell” doesn’t quite capture it. I took an olympian freestyle high dive into love with him and didn’t come up for air for the better part of 10 years. I lived on my own at the age of 17 – so he and I spent almost every night together. He remains the only man who has ever loved and accepted everything about my body; every taste, every scent, every curve, every mark…sometimes I would ask “But how do you like THAT??” He would say, “I love all of it. This is where you live.”

Even at 16 I was large breasted – which he loved. I was much smaller then and somewhat athletic, so he appreciated them more than I did. My biggest annoyance was that I couldn’t sleep comfortably on my tummy, so I had to get used to sleeping on my side. He would sleep on his side with his face nestled into my breasts and my arms and legs wrapped around him. One night, a couple of years into our dating, he fell asleep before I did. I gazed down at him as he slept and I noticed that his lips and tongue looked like they were softly sucking. I gently moved my nipple toward his mouth and rested it on his lips. At first his mouth stayed closed – but I could feel the slight movement of his lips and tongue. Even though my nipple wasn’t in his mouth, I felt relaxed and comforted by the slight movement and the possibility. I started to doze off – feeling even more close to him than before. I woke a short time later to the sensation of my nipple being sucked. He had awoken just enough to open his mouth and begin to softly suck. I moved as close as I could to him and held his head in my hand. He made a soft moaning sound and wrapped his arms around my back. We were both asleep within minutes.

We never really discussed it, but after that night we would often fall asleep that way. Sometimes his suckle would be soft and sleepy… other times his suck would become more shallow and his tongue would become an explorer. But whether it led to sex or sleep – it was our time at the end of the day. It was our secret bond that no one knew about.

A few years later I became pregnant and started lactating almost immediately. He loved the taste and he thrilled at the fact that he was the very first person on earth who had ever tasted my milk. After we lost the pregnancy, our suckling became a time to grieve and nurture each other through our sadness. We both felt a sense of loss when the milk dried up.

By the time I was 25 he and I had parted ways. My heartbreak was overwhelming and the loss I felt for the nursing bond was enveloped in my loss of him. I didn’t know how to separate the two..I didn’t even know what to call it.

I eventually fell in love again and we had two children that I happily nursed. However, the minute that I began lactating my breasts, which he had previously enjoyed, became “off limits”. My partner did not like the taste or idea of my breastmilk and, in fact, would make a sour face if any milk got on him during sex. I felt a deep feeling of rejection when he would react like that – and eventually I stopped desiring him at all. Our relationship quickly became one of business partners and after I finished nursing my children, I never offered my breast to him again.

Over the years, my desire for the bond I experienced so long ago has grown. I cherished the feeling of closeness and bond. I loved that no matter what our day had delivered, we would end it together in our special embrace. I loved that I could provide him such a soft, loving entrance into sleep.

17 thoughts on “My intro to ANR”

  1. Hi Lillian,

    What a beautiful journey. Sorry both relationships ended. It sounds like the relationship you had when you were younger was very strong and you were very close. I wish I would have had that same experience that you once shared.

    Hugs and be safe,

  2. What a heartfelt recollection. It really is a tragedy your first relationship came to an end. You discovered the bonding power of your breasts at a very young age, and completely embraced it, even though you didn’t know exactly what it meant at first. That sense of ending the day on a positive note, no matter what troubles you had, just relaxing and connecting together in a purely natural way – that’s exactly what an ANR is all about to my eyes.

    I know it’s been a long time since your first experience, but please don’t give up hope. Some day you’ll find the right person to share this with again, and you’ll treasure every moment of it as you did before.

  3. That’s truly a beautiful bond you shared and such a wonderful way to look back on it.
    I teared up towards the end of the story. You only wanted to give comfort in the best way you knew how. You deserve a happily ever after.

  4. Lovely life story , I’ve had 5 children and wished I was able to share my breasts when I was lactating. Hoping I can find someone to have dry sessions and feel the closeness again

  5. Dearest Lillian,
    It truly sounds as such an Amazing Experience together with Your First Nursing Partner whom You had such a Wonderful Lovely Nursing Relationship with…

    And Thank You for sharing such Heartfelt memories and thoughts, that I consider to be VERY Personal an Experience in sharing with us… You’re simply Wonderful and Most Amazing… =)

    Mine own story is a bit more complex, but never the less Very Loving on the end results and outcome of it which was never Expected by Me Lillian… And this I would like in sharing with You…
    Thank You once more! =)

  6. So very beautiful and touching. I feel your pain with you, through your eloquent and vulnerable words. I pray you can experience that bond again some day soon. What a treasure to have experienced it so early in life. Xoxox

  7. Thanks for sharing. I was on the opposite side of things. Wife initially loved it, and our bond grew really really strong. What an amazing feeling. Then one day she decided it wasn’t for her anymore, and I have been looking for that feeling again for months and months and months. I know what you lost, because I lost it too. My heart goes out to you.

  8. A beautiful story but also sad. Sad more so in the rejection that you felt by your partner.

    We should never feel rejected by someone that we share our lives with. I am sorry for your pain in that rejection but am hopeful that you know that you are so much more than he made you feel? Evidenced by your first relationship where you found the beauty of ANR, before you were lactating, in a truly loving relationship.

    My wish for you is more than the experience of having a man taste your milk again – it is finding the acceptance of who you are by a loving partner. Someone who loves you at all times. That is my wish for you but until that occurs, know that someone’s aversion doesn’t define you.

  9. Thank you for sharing your heartache Lillian. I certainly hope you find someone who feels the same that you can bond with. This is what has drawn me to this community. People seeking that deeper connection is such a beautiful thing. Good luck and take care!

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