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I agree its disappointing. People have the right to change their minds, but they also should have the decency to let you know in time.
Take careHere we go again, another timewaster, start to build up hopes for the future, arrange to meet, then no show. Be safe everyone.
Ever thought of keep doing same thing same way will get you the same result?
What i am getting at: you might think communication was clear, and feeling was good, but obviously something was wrong. It happens to all of us, yes, there are some people behaving badly. But it doesnt happen all the time. Loads of good people here.
So i would wonder: what did i miss and how i can i do better.
Good luck!Never giving up in hoping to meet all the lovely people on here. I’ve read profiles about the mutual trust and respect, yet the timewasters can’t be bothered to turn up or make contact, disappear for weeks at a time, return and expect everything to be the same, wanting to be suckled often,. 👀🤔🤔
Communication is key. Honesty too. Ask questions, so you will know both are on the same page. Establish a bond. Trust and respect can only be established over time.
One never is entitled to meet up. Its never a right.
Being pushing it, means most women will have second thoughts.
When its only a single meet up and its about quantity, as many women as possible, there are paid sites for those meet ups.Totally misunderstanding Rumina, my point is, I do all that, build up a connection to meet people in real life not hide behind a message, talk in person, meet for coffee and a bit of lunch. And then the timewasters show themselves for who they really are.
Yes been there. As lately as Monday was dressed and ready for him to arrive. Then got message sorry can’t make it. I can’t be arsed making an effort anymore. It’s the same old same old.
My lately, was Friday, 2 days ago. Agreed to meet in London. Big shopping centre, no show. No contact. Nothing, not even a sorry can’t make it.
I’m jumping on this because I don’t see this as being any different to normal dating. If anything both parties are incredibly vulnerable with ANR/ABF so more caution should be taken. The messaging can be great, it’s easy to open up to people online and let emotions take over. But there still needs to be a genuine connection and a spark/attraction. To establish this it takes time. Stay on here for as long as you can messaging, then when comfortable move to phone calls, but never never arrange to meet anyone unless you’ve had a video call. Don’t rely on voice and video notes. Allow yourselves a ‘cooling off’ period before meeting. Did they look and sound like you expected on the video call? If the conversation flowed and there was a spark then you’re good to go, but that needs to be mutual. Sometimes you have to accept that the attraction is not on both sides. When you arrange the ‘meet/date’ say you’ll message them in the morning to see if they’re ok to meet still, and if you don’t receive a response you’ll assume it’s a no and don’t go. Make the other person feel that it’s ok to change their mind, postpone, cancel, because life happens, that way if they have to for whatever reason you’re more likely to get a genuine reason instead of being ghosted. It’s rotten when plans don’t come to fruition, but everything is for a reason, think of it as a lucky escape. I would rather lose the train fare, then embark on a relationship with someone unhinged, a scammer or worse.
Apologies for lecturing you, but it is my specialist subject!
@jessie72 that’s some really good advice. I haven’t thought of those points. I have been fortunate but also dont want to rush.
@QualityDrink I am not sure what a good amount of time is. I feel sometimes you can get caught between trying to show you aren’t a time waster and having that time to build a connection which is important. I hope it does work out in the end 🫶🏽
@darkareolas I dont think anyone has to prove not to be a timewaster. Its the dynamic that has to feel right. I agree with you time to build that connection is needed, and its unprddictable how much that will be. When someone is pushing things it doesnt feel right. Nobody is a timewaster for that. Its always easy to blame the other.
Thank you for the replies. Genuine connections do take time, friendships and feelings grow, to be let down without so much of a reason is devastating. Yet appear on here afterwards and continue like nothing has happened. Timewasters.
Real connections, real feelings, when the meetings do happen, the smiles, the reactions and emotions are plain to see. It’s magical. The success stories are proven. Wishing you all every success on your journeys everyone whether they are just in your head or actual physical connections for ABF/ANR.
QD
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