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Scroll back a few posts, see that anon? The anon that says,
“To establish this it takes time. Stay on here for as long as you can messaging”
And closes with,
“Apologies for lecturing you, but it is my specialist subject!”
See how that person closed their account a month after posting that?
I don’t know where you think you are, and I don’t know who you think you’re listening to, but that anon ghost, and these stay-at-home zombies giving you all this horrible “just keep using the site” advice, is where you actually are. That’s where your time’s actually being wasted: messin’ around with people off this site.
If you want a relationship, this community is NOT your friend.
Still find it mind blowing how after making a really good connection and wanting to make plans to meet, the nerves kick in, the change of mind and actually wanting to be suckled regularly is just plain fantasy.
GHOSTING 👻 —
This posting is in reference to a lady I met a few days ago on this site.[Admin edit : you are not allowed to use this public forum to name other users on this site. You can talk generally about ghosting, issues, personal experiences, but specifically naming someone is not allowed.]
Be grateful for what you shared together. You mustn’t name others on here. Best wishes for the future Douggieboy. And thanks for your post.
I had something similar happen. I just started messaging someone, things were going well, or so I thought. We were talking about what she likes, what she wanted, what she was after, then I asked for a picture of her. She responded with “I thought you’d never ask” then sent a photo. Based on what she said and her actions up to this point, I thought it’d be ok to exchange numbers and start talking off-site. She even mentioned sending pics and videos throughout the day of her breasts, so I thought that meant actual texting.
A minute after I asked for her #, I was blocked. I don’t understand this online space at all, and this isn’t the first time it’s happened. We’re all here for two very obvious reasons. If you reciprocate that the advances are working, why shut someone down upon acting on those signals?
Sometimes I wish I had my own double D’s so I could suck on them myself lmao
Ya man I remember meeting this one lady that only had time to breastfeed for a few hours Saturday night after 10pm so after trying that a few times I had to give up, we texted an stuff and would have worked out if she had more time but she still had time for one of her gay friends to hang out but not to breastfeed lol plus she had the worst smelling breathe it’s like ladies come on were sharing each other’s breathe while breastfeeding an gum ain’t gonna cut it sheesh an men get all the blame for not showering lol
@s it’s definitely a balancing act! Some people want want arrange a meet immediately and some never…. Say the wrong thing and it mess it up 😂
I’ve read through this entire conversation, and I can certainly understand the frustration of making plans, getting excited, and then having someone disappear. That’s disappointing, especially when genuine feelings are involved.
But I do think we need to be careful with the word “timewaster.” Someone changing their mind, needing more time, or deciding the connection isn’t quite right doesn’t necessarily mean they were never sincere.
There’s a big difference between standing someone up without a word and simply deciding not to take things further. Nobody owes us a meeting, but I do think we owe each other a little consideration.
And perhaps that’s the tricky part of all this. We’re trying to find something wonderfully intimate with people who begin as complete strangers. That’s going to require patience, honesty, and occasionally a little grace on both sides. ❤️
Thank you for the post Lola,
I’m sure nearly all would agree with you but for me, it’s down to the connection.
Stringing someone along with the pretences of wanting to be suckled often. Yes that’s what it says in many profiles. Yet actually, in real life, its not going to happen, pure fantasy. Timewaster.I understand, QD. ❤️ And I can certainly see how disappointing it would be to invest time and genuine feelings in someone only to have things fall apart.
I think sometimes the difficulty is knowing whether someone was never sincere or whether their feelings or circumstances simply changed along the way. From the other side of the conversation, those two things can look remarkably similar.
I do hope you find the connection you’re looking for. I know it means a great deal to you. 😘
@qualitydrink49
You make extremely valid points on the mine field of any interaction in abf/anr. As so to the many replies by female members.The point that needs to be aired is that there are/is more than just one reason for entering into anr/abf
The we have to consider reasons for not eg risk can outway any possible reward.
Risk to a vanilla relationship if a partner is not included in the desire etc…I fit that, I want to suckle, I want the experience of that connection. But, not a relationship that crosses into dating, marriage, etc etc..
This on its own will mean my profile is swiped left/right and forgotten in a matter of seconds (frankly I’m okay with that).
I do hope that the people that join Abfheaven, find or fulfil their desires whatever that maybe.
I appreciate your honesty on what you want and dont want.
Could it be mainly a difference in expectations? When a woman in her profile says she wants to be suckled often, it doesn’t automatically mean she wants any random guy who says : here i am!
Nobody ows another person anything. It does not mean she is not sincere. She just may want that longterm commitment. There are a lot of guys on here looking for free hookups. No problem if that is what both want. Be honest about it! There are lots of sites offering it. But most are not free. And why should it be if the only goal is to quickly fulfill the need of a guy you dont know? Thats transactional to me and therefore i would not meet up.This being said: I agree with Lola that we should have consideration. So ghosting and sudden disapearances should not be happening. Guys do it too. Weird.
I really do hope you will find what you are looking for.
I dont like the word timewaster. It sounds like women are only worth knowing if you can suckle them. It doesn’t sound like an interest in bonding and connection. Thats exactly the reason why i would never meet up.
Time wasters is definitely a common occurrence. My definition of a time waster is messaging for weeks or months on end with no real plans of meeting up.
Add to that:
Ghosters 👻
Fantasy Seekers 🦄
BSers 💩
Penpals ✉️It can be very frustrating for those of us seeking a real in person connection & relationship.
You would think that with the ratio of men vs women on here it would be easy for the women to find partners but I haven’t found that to be the case at all. I don’t know if it’s the quantity vs quality ratio or what. But low effort interactions & poor communication are contributing factors.
I wish everyone success in finding the rare & precious ANR/ABF dynamic.
@dairydaisy
I agree with you
Honesty is paramount in all interactions. Human interactions are in essence are all transactional in some form. Intimacy, loyalty, respect just those three require it in return.
I do think that the original posters views on engaging with women who have ‘ghosted’ him for whatever reason, is a valid opinion that. An opinion that should be accepted.
I wonder if people do struggle with the ability to compartmentalise?
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