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Just got sent this message….maybe they have not bothered to read this discussion 🤔
***Let’s get off talking taboo family inces love large areolas and nips Submissive son here , in the mood to okay and pound mature women/moms/milfs/grannies/Mexican aunties / cougars Love to svckle on breasts since I hit puberty. Im very into svckling and cuddling in session. If you’re into ANR or ABF***
Really?! What sort of person sends that as a message let alone a first message
It made my eyes bleed just trying to read it. It reads like a bot?!
Oh dear! I try not to use the “Block” feature but I think it may be worthwhile in that case!
Eww. I have been unfortunate enough to receive disgusting messages like that as well.
I would add: Don’t assume you’re entitled to a nice or kind reply from a woman if you ignore things she says in her profile.
I’m pretty clear on the fact that I’m not really here to make online friends in my profile, and I’m clear that if you’re too much older than me that I won’t reply. Yet I get 265849528179168126516851658415634161415681165158 messages from older men who don’t live near me, who don’t have hardly anything in common with me, who aren’t on my level (socially/emotionally/culturally), would never vibe with me, and just keep going:
“Hey”
“hey how r u?”
“hey”
“hey”
“what’s up”
“hey”
“hey”
“hey”
“hey”
“how is your day?”
“hello”
“hey”
“hey”
“hey”
“hi”
“hey”
“are the girls needing attention?”
“hey”
“hey”
“hi”
“whats up?”
“hey”
“hi”
“you awake?”
“hi”
“how was your day”over and over- or they send some boring, tacky repeated copy/paste message you can tell they send to all women. But If I stand my ground and call out how they can’t follow simple requests, or if I just block them, then I’m the apparent bad guy 🙄
In summary/cliffs notes version: Don’t just read but LISTEN to what someone says in their profile. And more importantly, be absolutely sure to check your sense of entitlement with/towards women at the door.
Edited to add: And no need to be a welcome wagon and privately message every woman that shows up on your screen a welcome to the site (especially when you’re not the site owner), unless that woman’s profile CLEARLY shows that she would consent to such invasive “friendliness”
Thank you Lucy. It’s good to see other ladies here feel the same in the first messages received. Admittedly, i don’t feel obliged to reply to such crass messages from adults. Hopefully, this is read by those in need of these tips.
If only this were the rarity.
I wish men would realize how creepy these things are to receive. I kinda wish they cared to even want to realize it.
I always try to make my first message about something I read in the profile, or if it made me smile, or something about them that has nothing to do with ANR, sex or even close to anything suggesting that I want anything more than to maybe be friends. I have literally never received any messages that give any indication they’ve bothered to read my profile, have anything in common or are here just to make friends. Either it’s “hey!” or some exceedly unneeded and unwanted message about what they want.
One time, a guy just messaged me here with the single word “penis”. Like…what was I supposed to do with that? What was the point?
I refrained from posting anything here because Lucy said all that needed to be said on how the get responses from messages, but I don’t think guys really know just how many garbage, gross and unwanted messages women really receive here.
“I wish (SOME) men would realize how creepy these things are to receive. I kinda wish they cared to even want to realize it.”
I’ve corrected it for you.
Seriously, is this post just going to be turn into another unconstructive gripefest where all members share their extremes. The original post is fantastic, it’s proactive, relevant , and well written.
If you’ve been a member here long enough then regardless of gender, you’ll have received rude, demanding, disgusting messages, I know I have. It’s not right but it’s also not unique to ABFH, it’s a global concern with online socials.
Great topic @lucy84.
Having been the person joining a group ages ago that was intimidated by the oldsters of said group, I can appreciate whenever someone comes up to welcome me into the group. It’s nice not to be in left field trying to figure it all out.
It’s also a neighborly thing to do.
Thusly, I will continue to welcome folks to this extraordinary league of individuals.🤗😁
Have a good day y’all!😜🌸Idk @clowey. Eventually a guy says something off-putting, whether its a at the onset or a while into talking. The “some”, I can count on one hand.
I wish I knew how to get people to understand this isn’t okay without it becoming a gripefest. If you are kind and polite about it, it gets worse. If you bitch about it, it gets worse. Eventually, you have to come to terms with it isn’t you but the other side who can’t seem to figure things out. Like it or not, until you get a ton of disgusting messages, it’s easy to try to brush it off or make it seem like that’s how things just are and that doesn’t help either.
I don’t have solutions because I can only control myself, but I think with the volume of things I have had to deal with, it’s really amazing women stay. I’ve not been coming nearly as much because honestly, it just isn’t worth it. Eventually, I’ll just stop coming. I can’t imagine I’m alone in this.
I’ve always personally believed that when I feel triggered by someone else’s behaviour that I should look within for the answers. It’s all too easy to point a finger at another when three are pointing right back at us.
The block or ignore button is useful if someone doesn’t resonate with us. Note I hesitate to use the word offensive, because what is offensive to one, may easily be quite ok to another and no one has the right to judge another. It’s perfectly ok not to be everyone’s cup of tea or that not everyone may like us. It probably one of life’s greatest lessons to learn to not take things so personally, or be wounded by another’s actions.
Lucy, your original post is spot on regarding etiquette and decorum when interacting with one another. And it most definitely applies to both sexes.
@foxgoddess
I think a lot of this can be explained by the fact that from my experience the majority of the men who think they are looking for an ANR or ABF are in fact looking for a sexual relationship, whether in a FWB situation or as part of an LTR, with suckling/extended breast play and/or worship as part of that. There are a portion of men who are not looking for sex, often who already have a sexual partner whom won’t indulge their ABF desires and they see just having ABF with a different partner as a way of not cheating but still getting what they want. Very few women would see it that way though. Even if not sexual, ABF is a very intimate and affectionate practise, it creates a wonderful bond between 2 people and it does therefore cross lines when somebody already has a spouse or partner.
For a huge number (though not all) of the women, all things sexual are completely seperate from true ANR and ABF. It’s why it is soooo difficult to actually find a true ANR with the right person. Casual ABF is actually easy to find if that’s all you want and you’re willing to travel and often that not far. While that would satisfy a lot of the men (or more specificly, the sucklers) it simply doesn’t the females, who are sharing their breasts this way.
Sites like this a therefore great to have but it’s very difficult to seperate the wheat from the chaff and so easy for people to present themselves and their desires completely differently from the truth. In the case where people who contact me do make it clear from their messaging that they don’t wat the same things as me, I’m somewhat grateful that I’ve found out sooner rather than later that it’s not worth pursuing. Also, those whom think that a few messages in, you’ll meet them, stay at their house and have them suckle when you’ve made it quite clear that you need to build a friendship first and see if it’s something you both want to pursue. You cannot build a frienship/relationship chatting online etc in my world. It has to be done in person. People are often very different when you meet them. Think how many celebrities ruin people’s illusions when they actually meet them in person.
In my experience that has been the exact same with potential ANR partners too. I’ve met a number over the years after months of chatting /calls/video chats and then in person found no chemistry. The odd one proved me correct before the meeting had even ended too. I recall telling one at the end of a meeting for coffee that I wasn’t feeling any chemistry and didn’t feel we were a match. He asked me would I be willing to let him suckle and give him a blowjob just the same, as he only lived local. This was despite the fact that I’d mae it very clear that even if I felt we had chemistry at our meeting, it would need a lot more meetings and getting to know each other before I could decide/feel like I wanted to enter into anything more and that I never do anything sexual outside of marriage.You live and learn………………..
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