Some Tips for the Gentlemen Here

[Lucy]

Hey Guys,
A lot of men have asked me in the course of chatting over the years for advice and guidance on finding a partner, chatting with potential partners etc. Now I don’t claim to be any expert on this but I thought I’d note a few things I believe that will hopefully lead you to success.

1. Read the profile in full before you message. That’s not to say you can’t message and chat with someone who’s looking for something different from you, or in another country and the chances of you ever meeting are essentially nil. After all we are a community on here but make it clear on first contact what your intentions are and acknowledge what you know that they are looking for and if you can provide that or if you’d just like to connect and chat.

2. A lot of women don’t care for first messages that just say “hi” or “hey” etc. Make some effort with it – there’s no second chance at a first impression.

3. Similarly, very few women on here appreciate first messages along the lines of “Can I see your tits?” or “Will you feed me?” or the even more explicit invitations or suggestions that I’ve seen over the years. We know when you’re just trying to sext rather than establish communications. The men outnumber the women a great deal here and as a result the women get a lot more messages than the men as a general rule, so give them something to actually reply to. If a woman hasn’t uploaded media to her gallery it’s unlikely she’ll just want to send pictures early on in chatting or even after some time. I’d say it’s acceptable to ask for a face picture once a good conversation has been established but it’s best to never actually ask for breast pics. If they’re offered feel free to accept but asking can push boundaries that won’t be welcome.

4. Be upfront and honest about your actual situation. Married? Partner? Separated? FWB? Have kids? Other baggage? Be honest! A good and real ANR is very hard to find and nobody has time to waste. Don’t kid yourself that you can get into a relationship with someone and hide your life and either they’ll never find out or will find out and be so enamoured with your suckling they just won’t care. Betrayal wounds deeply and even if ANR is not sexual to the woman, she’d likely still consider it you cheating on your significant other and may not want to be party to that. Be realistic and truthful to yourself about your situation too.

5. Be truthful about what you’re actually looking for. Again, nobody has time to waste and one of the reasons that the right ANR is so hard to find is because as a general rule the potential sucklers and the potential suckle-ees actually want different things. While suckling at breasts will be sexually arousing to most men, to a lot of women it’s not erotic and sex can be the furthest thing from their desires. If you’re hoping that you can start an ANR with a woman who clearly states she wants nothing sexual but you think you can gradually change her mind, you’ll likely end up very disappointed in the long run as will she. If what you want is a Mommy then say that as most women searching for an ANR aren’t into that. Others are very into a Mommy role. It’s horses for courses.

6. Know your own desires and what is essential for you in an ANR and what is negotiable and keep these in sight. If all you want is a casual thing and multiple partners then say that. If you want a committed, exclusive arrangement then voice that. If milk is essential to you or you would want a partner to induce for you, tell her early on. Things like these can be dealbreakers for women.

7. Don’t be offended if you are not what a woman is looking for. This is a very niche area and while it’s hard enough to find the right life partner, finding the right ANR partner is just as difficult if not more so. Personally I need to feel a certain chemistry. It’s either there or it’s not, nothing either side can do.

8. Finally, as someone who had the ultimate in a pure and perfect ANR with my late husband, I’d say don’t settle, keep searching. When you find the right one the rewards are just glorious.

Perhaps some other ladies would like to add their comments to???

[MNTits4u]

Perfectly worded..

[Anonymous]

Thanks, Lucy. That’s really helpful. I think you’ve pretty much covered everything there lol! The main thing that resonated will me, is that you should never settle and I definitely agree it’s really difficult to find a partner that you can have a meaningful connection with. Once you find that, it’s worth hanging onto.

[Veronica]

Thank you for putting this out there. We’ll said and covers most everything.

[Tim]

Thanks Lucy

[Lucy]

Thank you @sorolife2

[Lucy]

Thankyou @rachyj @Veronica

[Pelsu]

Thank you very much for the tips and guidance, Lucy.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much. I’m a guy and I learned a tremendous amount from your blog about do’s and don’ts and the reasoning behind them. Everything you said makes perfect sense.

[Grogman 🚀⚡️❄️]

Thank you Lucy.
This should be mandatory reading for every newbie to ABFHeaven.
It wouldn’t hurt as a refresher for the oldies on ABFHeaven too!😜😂🤣🤗

[Yogi]

Well said, Lucy. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

@rachyj

Thanks rachy, for the good reminder that finding someone you truly connect with, is worth hanging onto.

[Tmarshall]

I have recently joined so thank you for your advice. I’m sure it will help a lot with communicating with the ladies. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Thank you, Lucy 🙂
For those of us looking for a meaningful connection, you really nailed it.

I would add that when men message for the first time, and their first message is “how is my search going?”, or “how are finding ANR to be?” It’s obvious they have nothing else to talk about and didn’t read my profile. If I’m on here saying I’m looking, then if I’m an honest person, unlike many here, then I’m still looking. It’s one of the worst openers. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Great post Lucy, this should be a sticky. Very useful wisdom for current and future newbies.

I must say that many of these points apply to both sexes. Point 2 in particular resonates, receiving messages that only say “Hi”, “Good morning” or How’s the search going?” leaves me cold.

[Author]

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