Question for the men on this site.

Personal Ads & Forum General Discussion Question for the men on this site.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 20 total)
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  • #190142
    Elizabeth
    Participant
    • Female
    • Looking for: Male
    • USA
    • Nebraska

    I’m going to create a similar post addressing the women on this site.

    Men, for those of you that have filled out your profile and have had an incomplete profile at some time. Do you feel that a completed profile had made a difference in replied to initial messages? Do you feel that more women initiate first contact when you have a complete profile? If you come across a profile that is not filled out how likely re you to message? if you do message, what is it about an incomplete profile that entices you to message?

    #190161
    Clowey
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    Hi Elizabeth, great question, the replies will be interesting.
    I my experience, I’m much more drawn to a profile that provides some insight into who the lady is and or what the are looking for. Providing some clarity on status and preferences can help speed up messaging, help to make chats more specific, and also avoid making contact if there’s a red flag.
    Having said that 😆 if a lady lived local to me and had a blank profile, I’d likely introduce myself, but the message would be pretty vanilla and expectations would be pretty low if there’s not much to go on.

    #190168
    tony.
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    hi, it really dosent matter what your profile says or how much time and effort you put into it, women will never message you first, us men have to message women first and most of the time our messages are just ignored, so good luck everyone?

    #190172
    Grogman
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Ohio

    Tony, that’s not my case. Women have initiated contact via a message or friend request. My profile was initially pretty basic. After a few suggestions more content was added to give more detail about the kind of person I am. I believe it helps a woman determine if I am “worthy” or not. 😜

    #190173
    Clowey
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    That’s not my experience Tony. I’ve definitely initiated more first messages than I’ve received but I have received messages from ladies based on my profile, even just the location can prompt a message.

    #190192
    Mike 🍀🔥🐸🦊
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Tennessee

    Hi Elizabeth!

    IDK if a completed profile makes a difference as I don’t have that level of data from the site to know how many have seen my profile vs responded. However, I would think the ladies do care (like me) that I have a picture or a profile filled out. I believe I have done a pretty good job giving those looking at mine a reasonable explanation why I am on here and what I am looking for. I do get positive feedback with those who have contacted me thanking me for the information.

    I will contact ladies with a incomplete profile just because there aren’t many in my search area so I would say I make the first move. Again, I wish I had a at least of pic of their face. I would say that the majority of ladies have 1) not even tried to explain their living situation 2) what they are looking for 3) what they are about and those I have met 4) use aliases which I get.

    I even went as far as to contact Mike (admin) to see if he could expand the questions which didn’t get a receptive tone. Other sites like ANRelationships go overboard with questions. Some helpful, some just ridiculous as their audience is just about anyone and anything.

    So, I’d like to see more MINIMUM data standards when creating a profile!

    Thanks for listening!

    #190195
    tony.
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    i’ve been on here for about 3 years and not once have i received a message from a woman without messaging them first, maybe american women are more genuine than they are in the uk groggy?

    #190196
    tony.
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    maybe its just me then clowey, because i’ve never received a message out of the blue from any woman on here. and i’ve been on here for 3 years,

    #190262
    Grogman
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Ohio

    @sucklingtony I have absolutely no idea of the degrees of geniuneness concerning women over here and those on your side of the pond. There are quite a few wonderful ladies over yonder. Gratefully, I consider them my friends. Some initiated contact and I contacted others. Probably about the same from one hemisphere to the other.

    Liz, I’m not sure if a thorough profile helps. Since filling out my profile further, I do get fewer WTF(?)s. 😜😂🤣

    #190373
    Jay
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    From experience, yes but nothing has been guaranteed in the long run but it does mean you take what you want serious tbh, but in some cases we still have to make the first contact, only I believe a one in 3 will message you first

    #190558
    Jason
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Kentucky

    It makes no difference either way. Like most internet dating sites most people are here to kill time and waste yours or try to scam your personal info.

    #190704
    brian
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Minnesota

    I try to message anyone in my area. if i get no reply, i leave her alone.

    #190854
    tony.
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • United Kingdom

    although this isn’t supposed to be a dating site, i totally agree with you that most people on here are just timewasters,

    #190867
    Nipple Me Please
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Georgia

    Ms. Elizabeth,
    Good Morning, I have found that a complete profile gives any prospective member a better idea of who you are and what you are seeking. As for me, I try to be as complete as possible, it also helps that I attempt to stay in contact with as many friends as possible even if like this morning I am just sending out “good mornings” and wishing everyone well.

    #190928
    Ken
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA

    Hey, Elizabeth, thank you so much for posing the question. When I saw the earlier question for women, I wondered if there was going to be one for men.

    Personally, I put a lot of effort into a VERY LONG profile, with lots of detail of what my expectations are of my behaviour with a woman once I am able to meet. If a woman doesn’t have the patience to read through my profile, then I doubt she would have the patience to read through my verbose correspondence. And that is fine, since there are women who do read it all and it interests them.

    I have received a number of unsolicited notes from women from around the world, asking about when I’m going to be in their area. I wouldn’t say “a lot”, but enough that will certainly keep me busy meeting the women in future travels when my circumstances change. And, in the meantime, there always is verbose correspondence!

    As for what I expect in the profile of women that might prompt me to write, I look for a lot of detail so that I know ahead of time that I’m not wasting their time with me contacting them. They have to indicate their interest in older men. They have to indicate their interest in short-term engagements, since I’m interested in helping as many women as I can (as I state explicitly in my profile). If their profile doesn’t cover those bases, or doesn’t say anything at all, then I make the assumption the woman isn’t trying hard enough to find someone to meet their needs. How can I meet their needs if they cannot express what it is that they do need?

    So, in summary, the profile is so very important not to waste the time of both parties. I wish more women would have the patience to read my profile, and I wish more women would put more effort into their own profile.

    Thanks, again, for sparking the exposition, Elizabeth!

    . . . . . . Ken suckbuddyk@gmail.com

    p.s. I put so much effort in my profile that I use the same text, almost verbatim, for ABFH, FetLife, and Reddit. After all, I’m expressing what it is I’m looking for, and it doesn’t change based on where I’m putting myself out for consideration by women.

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