Question and this is on internet chatting etiquette

[Nici]

What is an appropriate amount of time between responses; is it the same or different than in person? Why/why not?

I am a communicator, very much a face-to-face person navigating our digital world here and I am curious. Is anyone seeing digital communication the same as in-person communication? Or, is it in a bubble of its own?

When I communicate here, it feels like it’s on crack: an interview of questions, jumping through boundaries quickly, if not actively maintained. In person, it is face-to-face and easier to have boundaries respected.

And that led me to another question, which I asked already, about greeting one another. (You can find it in the General discussion to see the answers I received.)

I am still thinking about my above questions. So, what are your thoughts? And do you men see it differently than women?

I look forward to seeing how others feel about communication. 🙂

[Dave]

Nici, good question. I think the answer is it depends. Is it a 1st message, or from someone you are interested in, or maybe from someone you aren’t likely to meet IRL. I’m sure women get way more messages here than men, since we outnumber you, & I imagine there are messages you get from people far away and that diminishes your interest.

I think courtesy would say respond politely to all messages, as long as they are respectful, in a timely manner. But I’m sure those you have met or are friendly with get to the top of your list.

[Emily]

I don’t think there is a one size fits all to response time in online dialogue. Frankly, I think it would be stupid to expect a response time of one you might expect from an in person conversation.

[Cut Tan]

@velvetsunshinehine : yes, it is stupid!
Folks behind keyboards usually expose a different personality than reality!

[Brian]

Generally I try and answer messages with in a day or so of getting them. I want the person to know that I value what they have to say and the fact they took the time to write. it botheres me if I’ve seen that someone’s been online and they’ve read my message but haven’t responded in a couple weeks. Especially if there’s been no indication that they aren’t interested in the conversation.

[YoungerOlderAsianGuy]

I agree with @canadianguy / Brian’s sentiment about seeing someone online. I understand people may log in just to quickly read and take some time to think about what to respond with. And of course sometimes life gets in the way.

To both occasions in which I try to give at least a week before I realize no one had the basic human decency to express disinterest if especially if someone was genuine and fully intentional with their approach…

And I’m not referring to those that approach disrespectfully… Those people do not deserve that kind of decency. But yes, overall I agree, many people are not honest with their interests…

[Nici]

Hmm, I love seeing people’s responses and it always blows me away the caliber of folks we have, overall, here- so much higher than other sites!

Great responses, and thoughts to ponder. Thank you!

@velvetsunshine: Emily, my bringing up in-person communication was just to emphasize how it is easier to maintain polite boundaries offline. 🙂

[Grogman 🍑🚀💙]

@hinh I try to answer as soon as it is reasonable. When I pop in, if I see a message it will get a reply. It might be hours in between replies. If in an active convo it will be as fast as these stubs can type.😜

[Nici]

Thank you @grogman

[Author]

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