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I have done a lot of platonic nursing with partners wanting to avoid the sexual complications… because women require so much more sexually than men, I often use a consent contract to fill in all the blanks of a partners sexual interests..no second guessing or hard feelings.
If a partner is aroused by the session, I allow them to fully release and even ask if she wants more of the same sensation… it’s like a gift…
Some times the woman’s arousal is different.. it’s rapid breath as she’s getting excited etc. these are hard things to notice etc..
@sind Do you find that you are more likely than not to find yourself getting aroused during nursing sessions? Or is it more of the case with women that there needs to be something “extra” or a specific trigger for arousal, even during an act such as nursing, as opposed to most men where we are more likely than not to be “in the mood” and have to turn down the urges rather than turn them up?
Hi @fetvoy12,
I think that’s lovely of you to think of her, to be clear in your discussions together.
Do you feel like the women know what they like or is it a gradual process of discovery as you pay more attention to her needs?
Thanks for your honesty!!
@stevebeets it’s just like it is for a man and just like a man I can get aroused by touching my nipples and massaging my breasts by myself.
Arousal starts as soon as I think of nursing and there are tremendous tingles in nipples and breasts. A meeting creates a sense of joy as one prepares to nurse.
One can’t ignore one’s breasts as they are always a part of one’s body so as anticipation of being suckled builds it creates a slow simmer and a drum beat of one’s heart 🩷💕🌺
Nipples can get hard and keep bothering a woman for attention. It’s a whole body reaction/response that can probably be seen if you pay attention.
I am loving these questions..🤗
I apologize if I was a bit off topic. Of course both partners can and maybe often will be sexually aroused when breast feeding/suckling occurs. IMHO, however, if lactation is involved, men largely will be less prone to become sexually aroused unless, as it noted before, there were merely upstairs window shopping for downstairs merchandise. i.e. a sexual ruse.
Perhaps because I am older, giving a woman’s breasts attention, appreciation, caressing and suckling is more about human intimacy. People are lonely today more so than ever. We have hundreds of contacts online but how many truly real friends does the average male or female have to day? IMHO, men are more prone to have few, 3 or 4 being above average. So for me at least, to befriend a woman for ABF has more to do with a human connection than a sexual one. “People needing other people are the luckest people in the world” ….unless you have few if any friends.
Omg you really touched my heart ! I loved to read the honesty in your post.
Your question I read as “How many good friends do we really have ?” It’s so true.. I can count on my fingers the number of people that I would count as a friend if it was a heart to heart relationship.
Many people act like friends but are not truly and we spend most days at work with people who are all like people traveling on the same train, situational friends. Same with our social circles .. nobody wants to open up too much in these circles.
If someone does touch your heart either in person or online do tell them so and get a smile in reply it’s the greatest gift to treasure one that makes us different !! By us I mean the abf community, the empathetic people, the kind hearted and those that love life!!
I have found older people to be more open to smile at me than younger harried looking ones who I might encounter in the train or at a shopping center or while walking around. Most young ones are too busy being self centered or worried or don’t want anything to do with fellow humans. Why is that?
Awesome post!!
LOL. Now that I’m retired I find myself talking to everyone. I ride my bicycle 20mi a day during the summer and always wish everyone a good morning. Very few reply but some I see often enough to stop and talk to them. I used to be scared to talk to other people, especially if they were female. Not anymore. I think that comes with age and with age you learn and appreciate the fact that we’re all fighting a battle -not the same battle but a battle nonetheless. Also, losing friends, life long friends and family you learn to value the lives of others as “tomorrow is promised to no one.” I’ve become very sentimental to/with my HS classmates. I’m the one who arranges our every 3 month luncheons. Then I just sit back and listen. If you ask people how life is treating them they will run with it but very rarely do they respond asking how life is treating you. There are a lot more takers than there are givers although we all have a degree of being takers.
We should definitely ask “how is life treating you” we should smile while talking to another person, yes tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. The best thing I notice about older people is they find reasons to smile. What a beautiful window into life and lessons I will take with me as I go about my days. 🩷🥰🤗 and I agree age is just not important so if you need a hug come and see me in Boston 😘
Breastie, I think all of these questions are interesting, but I keep coming back to whether we’re trying a little too hard to define what the experience is supposed to be.
I don’t think ABF has to choose between nurturing and sexual. And I definitely don’t think our bodies owe us the same answer every time.
A woman could nurse someone and feel nurturing, powerful, vulnerable, aroused, comforted, playful, deeply connected, completely nonsexual…or some wonderfully messy combination of all of it. And the next time, with the exact same person, it could feel entirely different.
I actually LOVE that.
Women have spent enough time being told what our bodies are supposed to mean, what we’re supposed to enjoy, and what our responses supposedly say about us. Maybe we get to stop policing ourselves quite so damn much and just pay attention.
Aroused? Okay. What do I want to do with that?
Not aroused? Also okay.
Something shifts halfway through? Listen to it.
And obviously that freedom belongs to both people. A physical response isn’t consent, an invitation or an obligation to take things further. It’s information. Then two adults get to communicate and decide what they want.
And I think we should leave room for evolution, too.
What you want today doesn’t have to be what you want six months from now. Something that begins as curiosity might become deeply meaningful. Something you once thought was purely sexual might surprise you by becoming tender. Something nurturing might develop an erotic edge. Or something you thought you desperately wanted might turn out not to be for you at all.
We’re allowed to change our minds. We’re allowed to discover new parts of ourselves. We’re allowed to outgrow things without deciding the earlier version of us was wrong.
That may actually be one of my favorite things about exploring any part of sexuality and intimacy, you don’t have to arrive already knowing exactly who you are.
So I’m probably less interested in whether ABF causes arousal than I am in whether we give ourselves enough freedom to experience what actually happens.
Maybe it’s nurturing today and erotic tomorrow.
Maybe it’s both.
Maybe it’s neither.
Listen to your body. Listen to each other. Stay curious. Let yourself evolve.
That feels a hell of a lot more interesting to me than deciding ahead of time what any of this is supposed to be.
It’s okay to be aroused by it 🙂 especially for the women.. some men may not be able to contain themselves but its something super sexy about women just melting as they get sucked on endlessly.
It would be weird if you don’t get turned on actually.
There have been times where I transition from extremely aroused to completely relaxed , maybe getting past that first phase of physical pleasure to the internal bonding and warmth it provides. I like it a lot. I miss it even more
Never met a Mira. Hopefully, she finds my answers informative in my limited way.
1) I don’t believe so. We are not batteries either anodes and cathodes.
2) The attraction happens. It matters not whether it is from weak or strong nuclear forces, ionic bonding, gravity. My theory is animal magnetism.😏
3) Definitely not everyone.
4) Huh? A caring partner would be concerned about her needs.
5) Mira needs to communicate her needs to her partners. Both of them can experience the bliss of ABF.
6) Some women easily nipplegasm during breastfeeding. Others need more time to achieve orgasm. Some not at all.
7) Can’t speak for others. I find breastfeeding to fill an emotional need while being a highly experience at times.Hopefully Mira finds some useful tidbits of information in my answers.
It is definitely a discovery process and every partner is different…I tell my partners that it is my goal to find their pleasure weaknesses and use them against them…that is the beauty of being a suckler, you are challenged with each young lady you meet and you have to bring your A game to meet their expectations…. communication is critical and I ask my partners to ALWAYS let me know when I hit a sweet spot…
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