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When do you begin focusing on physical when talking to someone here? Is physical relations seen separate from your ANR aspirations? And, at what point do you begin taking it offline?
I am asking these 3 questions because I am curious about what is considered “the normal.” If there is a normal.
I’m not sure there is a normal. Every situation seems to be its own entity. Normal for one is not normal for another.
1) Sometimes the physical attraction is what starts the ball rolling. Texting, chatting etc… is what reinforces the relationship or not.
2) It can be if being together is based only on breastfeeding. Having defined ground rules helps define boundaries.
3) Only at their request and if I feel confident with this person.
I hope my 2 cents help answer your questions.As @grogman said, it’s all about chemistry and how you want to proceed. It should be with mutual consent.
Nursing being very intimate, it may progress to full relationships when chemistry is right and both feel comfortable with each other.really interesting question! definitely depends on the individuals involved, and with any relationship (whether ANR or something else), I prefer not to put labels or preconceived notions on what it has to be; time reveals all. If I like someone, I like to take it offline quite quickly, simply because its easier to chat, and I think giving someone my time shows a level os seriousness about what we’re getting into, but everyone is different.
Nici – First, congrats graduating!
As to your questions, let the person you’re chatting with guide the timing. You dont have to lead in this dance. Look for clues about the physical in her texts. Have a discussion about physical relations and the ANR context (Ask her about her comfort level, what shes looking for, dont start with “you”)
How do you know when it’s time to take it offline? — when she asks!
Letting your partner set the pace shows respect and acknowledges them in a way that’s different from other situations you’re used to.
Give it a try and see how it works@grogman, yes, that was why I asked because there does not appear to be a norm, at all. Thank you for responding! And @nickny, definitely need the chemistry- thanks for sharing!
Hi, @velvetmoon, that is an interesting way to approach things, no labels, fluidly dynamic. I like being direct, up front. I, too, prefer to take it offline, but only if I feel the person is of the same mindset. Once I ahve made my mind, I prefer compliance to going offline but won’t force it. Still, I think I stay on far too long and worry about wasting time sitting on a computer rather than living life for real. Thank you for sharing!
@@sarahsbf, before I respond to your post (and thank you for acknowledging my graduation; that means a lot and it greatly appreciated) can I just point out that I love your profile? You are not here to connect with others just to learn and support what you have with Sarah. Beautiful! I love the honesty! Thank you! Hmm, I do not have to lead in thie dance…boy oh boy, are you a mind reader? LOL! I do tend to take the lead, acting independently when I feel things are not being completed quickly or decisions are needed. Hmm, great wisdom shared. I am the girl in this situation and if a guy does as you suggest, it is definitely something I would appreciate! Thank you so much for posting your thoughts!
As a woman. There is no “normal” amount of time. We are creatures if habit. Most of us desire a mental connection over physical any day. There is something to be said about truely liking your future partner. For me it’s much deeper then superficial looks.
My mind immediately goes too.
1. Can this person carry a conversation? Is he interesting to get to know, and does he show guinuine interest on me?
2. Do I feel safe to be around him. Trust him to be alone with him. Will he respect my boundries?
3. Does he give off red flags?? All his friends online are breast pictures (does he just want to collect puctures) did he disrespect me, and immediately ask my breast size or say something that was clearly mentioned in my profile? Does he pay attention to my wishes,
These are all things I consider before moving it off line to potentially meeting.
I hope this helps.
I wish you the best..
My situation being unique I like to try and take communication offline as soon as the conversation is ready for voice chat, and there is enough trust built. Simply for the reason that this site doesn’t play well with assistive technology, such as screenreaders. I find though there is a balancing act and it can be very tricky to tell when somebody might be ready to take the next step. I try and keep the physical side separate from the adult nursing side when talking to someone. Once a meeting is planned, I have brought it up, firstly to establish boundaries and secondly decide where we want things to go.
In women’s consensus, ANR is among “physical relations” to start with. Altogether, then, by further translations, I gather that your first of three questions is trying to ask, in gist, “When do you begin including the sexual when talking to someone here?”
Although breasts’ sexuality varies by culture and by person from great to nil, adult nursing seems inseparable from sexuality. Although nursing children spans the gamut from orgasmic bliss to painful burden, nursing grown folk is by purest desire, whether his or hers or both.
And such a woman wants from nursing to feel good, maybe intimately, or maybe sexually, or maybe both ways at once. When it’s making her feel good, though, perhaps no woman feels solely intimate or solely sexual without some residue of the other feeling. Merely, she may impose a barrier to limit the notice, the extent, or the value of the other feeling, unwanted with a particular person who’s sucking her nipples in the time being.
If I, a man, were seeking an amorous relationship, sexual or romantic, with a “normal” woman, then I wouldn’t directly raise an overtly sexual topic, which, per women’s focus on being, as you say, normal, would repel her. I aim discussion to instead get very personal and then to get rather intimate. If she is and stays affable, not even defensive or evasive, then she’s already signaling that she’s sexually receptive. By contrast, at least in person, a woman’s directly raising an overtly sexual topic is a strong sign that, letting herself be allegedly weird, she especially accepts the man.
Online, though, where women tend to be figments of their own fantasies, it’s often the reverse: she talks sexually since she’s chosen to never see you in person. In my experience, if a woman shall ever meet you in person, then she wants to meet you in person promptly. If she wants to talk a lot more before realistically evaluating the prospects of meeting within a couple of months, then she either wants an online buddy or at best is allowing that an eventual discovery about you could promptly interest her in you, but she’s not even interested enough to directly inquire on the matters valuable to her.
Yes, there are countless cases where the gradual growth of familiarity turned an uninterested woman into receptive. Yet, contrary to women’s mantra that “connection” is more important than attraction—that intimate bonding is more important than sexual aura—women don’t truly plan on “connecting” without attraction. I mean, the mantra may even be factually true, reflecting a woman’s real life in person. Yet she’s not online to get more of her real life in person. Online, she makes snap judgments based on her degree of sexual attraction. So, unless you fit her desired stereotypes, she’ll rapidly find rationales to dodge the risk of a “connection” with you.
Online, then, even the women who don’t have have to be attracted or sexually interested, as they want solely nursing or intimacy based on the bosom, have to be attracted—they have to be sexually interested in principle—to let a man nurse, and these women, too, will experience some sexual arousal during it. Nonetheless, in my view, there is no point where a “normal” woman feels it “normal” to have a sexual discussion with a man who is to be her lover. To a “normal” woman, a “normal” man is doing, not talking. If I raise an overtly sexual topic with a woman, then I’m trying to assess how sincere and patient she is, am trying to assess, regardless of possible sexual activity in the future, our compatibility in platonic intimacy, not our compatibility in romantic relationship.
I was recently stood up and I think it’s at least partly bc we rushed into meeting for the sake of convenience. If you don’t establish a connection first then there’s little to no investment in the other person and it’s easier to see the whole thing as transactional — which I acknowledge is fine for some. But if you’re looking for connection it’s my advice to move forward when it feels right.
Oh, very well said, @btrfly! Thank you!
Thanks for engaging, @milkysnuggles48!
@canadianguy, always well said! Its been a while, how are you, my friend? Thank you for sharing!@simplistically
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I do appreciate the effort you put into your answer.That said, I feel you have projected a great deal of your personal philosophy onto my questions rather than answering them directly. I was asking about social norms, communication patterns, and expectations within the community — not for generalized conclusions about women, sexuality, or attraction.
Some of the assumptions made about what “normal” women think, feel, or want came across as overly absolute and a bit dismissive of individual differences. Human relationships tend to be far more nuanced than that.
I was simply curious about how people here generally approach ANR discussions, boundaries, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and meeting offline. I prefer conversations grounded in mutual respect and individual communication rather than broad theories about men and women as categories.
Still, thank you again for sharing your perspective.
@psginner, thank you for sharing and for your insight/wisdom rooted in personal experience. That said, being ghosted/stood up is never a positive experience and I appreciate the fact you saw accountability through the moment. Not saying you deserve it, just saying I appreciate the objective view. 🙂 Thank you!
I’ve just had the one experience and I do wish that I’d chatted for a while longer as there real connection. We messaged for just a few days before he gave me his WhatsApp and we met soon after. Honestly, I was physically attracted to him but more importantly, we seemed to get along well, via messaging. I just didn’t know what to expect, with it being my first time; I was keen and the actual encounter was just out of this world. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the rush of feelings, the instant feeling of closeness, that delicious feeling when you can feel their body relax, their tenseness dissipate, albeit temporarily. But I do believe that it would’ve been so much better had I have not been so eager!
Yes, it definitely would’ve been much better had we got to know each other more so as we could’ve been more comfortable with each other.
Now that I know, I’ll be taking my time and getting to know someone better first. Not too long though, I’m not here just to chat! xx
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