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Loneliness is an insidious thing that makes men and women make bad decisions impetuously.. because they are looking for that feeling of bliss. Men fall victim to fake female accounts, women only see what the men are telling them. It isn’t just the tools but our ability to not see the obvious when one is enticed even when the warning bells are going off. It’s the whole concept of is this nice to ask or request ..? Will it spoil the sense of trust? Will I ever find someone if my rules are so strict? But with experience we all learn to enforce boundaries and stand up for what we believe we’re worth. At the end of the day it’s knowing the value we bring to ourselves and to others that boosts our sense of self.
Jen, I LOVE this! And I’ve noticed the same thing lately. There are more little conversations happening between the women here, and I think it changes the feel of the place in such a good way.
Maybe part of making a community feel safe isn’t just giving people better ways to keep the wrong people out, it’s giving them more reasons to feel connected to the right ones.
And selfishly, I’d love to see more of the women here get to know each other. We’re interesting as hell beyond being the considerably outnumbered owners of the boobs everyone came here for. 😉
@sind 🩷
I think loneliness is SUCH an important piece of this, Sparkling! Because sometimes the warning bells are ringing and we hear them perfectly well…we just really, really want them to be wrong.
And I think that question you mentioned “Will I ever find someone if my rules are so strict?” is where people can start negotiating against their own boundaries just to keep a connection alive.
That isn’t unique to women either. Wanting to be wanted can make ALL of us incredibly creative little defense attorneys for behavior we’d recognize immediately if it were happening to someone else.
Maybe that’s another piece of real safety: having enough connection and community around you that one person’s attention doesn’t feel so precious that you’re afraid to lose it. 🫶🏻
Happy to hear women say they are getting to know each other and have conversations! That’ s my experience too!! Help each other, share knowledge! There is so much to share! About food, lactation, puzzles and bantervand who knows what else.
Its also helping safety on here!
Lola May, your points are valid and well stated. And I support them 100%.
Safety, as humans we should always treat each other with respect and kindness. Unfortunately that is not always the case. Assume nothing!
Attention, a woman is a gift and should always be treated as she wishes. The same could be said about a man being a gift to a woman but that’s for another time…
Access and control, this references a prior post about “Pussy” and also a scene on Yellowstone, a tv show, Beth Dutton offers the following advice to another woman “
Beth Dutton: You have all the pussy and half the money.”
For sake of our site and desires I would like to add “all the breasts too!
I agree with giving the women the control needed feel safe, get attention from only those she desires and allows access to.Bob, bringing Beth Dutton into this was NOT on my bingo card!
“You have all the pussy and half the money” is already pretty damn solid life advice, but I agree that on THIS particular website, failure to account for ownership of the breasts is a serious oversight. 😉
And I think “assume nothing” pretty much nails it. Ask me. Let me decide. Believe me when I tell you what I want, or don’t want.
It really can be that simple.
Now I’m slightly concerned about what else you’ve been learning from Yellowstone. 🤓😘
Well put!
Always enjoy your posts, @lolamayi12345. I, too, am enjoying greater community with other women on the site, whether it be through the forums or messages. All the ladies have said something that really resonates with me.
I would like to add one thought: To those messaging first, READ THEIR PROFILE. And if you don’t meet important criteria, FFS, don’t reach out.
It’s intrusive and disrespectful and makes a lot of us women feel unsafe if you start by violating a boundary.I love this site. I think Michael has done an amazing job providing balance and the right set of controls. Everyone is empowered to do what they need to do to feel safe and comfortable. It’s not easy to do.
Bravo 👏
Well said. For me, it isn’t the amount of messages, but the amount of low quality messages, people who don’t read profiles, low effort, or creepy. We have discussed this a lot and the men in replies often keep referring to the numbers game when the answer is to be a better potential partner and communicator.
@browngirlsugar 🫶🏻
Thank you! And YES! If someone has taken the time to spell out their boundaries in their profile, the very least you can do is respect them. I always wonder what someone expects to accomplish by opening a conversation with a demonstration that they either can’t read or don’t care. Neither is a particularly attractive introduction. 🙄
Absolutely! Michael has managed to create something pretty special here, and I don’t think he gets nearly enough credit for everything that goes on behind the scenes. He’s given us the tools, and it’s up to each of us to use them and respect one another.
Yes! And somehow, every time women bring up the quality of interactions, the conversation circles right back to how difficult it is for men to get responses. We’re telling you what makes us want to respond! You’d think that would be valuable information. 🙄
Very well put, couldn’t agree more. I love the emphasis on choice.
I think most men have good intentions in trying to protect women from harm (few who may be loud and aggressive “in their defense” just seeking favorable attention but I digress), especially if they have sisters, daughters, nieces, friends, etc. that they’ve seen effected by it. But as you said, focusing on “protecting” them may come from a thoughtful and good heart but the outcome still results in “I’ll go ahead and take control of this for you, you won’t be able to handle it.” And they’re often really not to be underestimated lol.
I think it would be nice if instead of focusing on giving them protection, focus on how to give them options like you said. Instead of “what can we do to restrict some men from messaging so they don’t get in the way of the rest of us”…you could just simply give the woman an option to close her inbox. She can’t receive any messages until she decides she wants to and if she’s bad enough she can close it again. For example. Or the option to limit who can message you by region or something. “Only all messages from those in the same state. Or same region, country, from anywhere, etc.”
Just a couple examples to make my point. If everyone focuses on giving women here the ability to navigate with ease of mind on their own terms, then it’ll make for a much more enjoyable experience for everyone and would likely see a lot more success overall.
Just my thoughts though, always happy to hear any criticisms or disagreements. We’re always initially limited to our own perspectives.
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