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I got two loaded!
1) A bear and a caveman walk into a bar.
The bartender looks and says “Hey what’s the story with the bear, no bears allowed”The caveman says “Bear with me”
2) What do you call a bee on Halloween?
A boo-bee
What’s one of your best jokes?
My friend wanted to start a farm, so he went to a farmers market to look for some animals. He wanted to start with chicken’s and a donkey, so he spoke to the farmer and asked for a rooster and hen. The farmer said he would be better with a cockerel and pullet he trusted the farmer and bought one of each. The next farmer told him he didn’t want a donkey he needed an ass, my friend asked what the difference is the farmer said if a donkey stops you wouldn’t get it to move but if a ass was to stop you just have to scratch it and it would carry on moving. So my friend got a ass, he decided to go home and low and behold the ass stopped. He looked around and saw a lady, he went up to her and asked if she could help she said yes of course. So he said great, can you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass!
Three engineers and three lawyers take the train to attend a major conference. On the way there, at the departing train station, each lawyer buys a train ticket. Meanwhile the engineers together only buy one ticket.
The lawyers then ask, “How will you all board the train with just one ticket?” To which one of the engineers replied, “You’ll see.”
When the train arrived, the lawyers boarded and each took a seat. The engineers all went into the toilet of the train. Shortly before the train departed, the conductor walked around, and collected everyone’s tickets. He then goes to the toilet door and knocks on it, “Ticket, please.” One of the engineers barely cracked open the door and handed the conductor their ticket.
The lawyers thought that was awfully clever, so after the conference, at the returning train station, they bought just one ticket for the three of them. The engineers don’t buy a single ticket. The lawyers then ask, “How will you all board the train without a single ticket?” The same engineer again replied, “You’ll see.”
When they got on the train, the lawyers all went into a toilet, The engineers then go to another toilet. Then shortly before the conductor began collecting tickets, one of the engineers goes to the door of the toilet the lawyers were in and knocks on it, “Ticket, please.”
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