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Hi! So I’m very very new to this as in I have never had a partner. Question for the ladies: How was the very first time you nursed someone? If you were uncomfortable how did you get comfortable? Also what do you do when they are nursing? Like knit or something? Lol
I recently met a woman at her home for her first ever ANR session. Things went very well and she wants me back again. One thing I did notice upon arrival was the fresh aroma of “420” in the air. Bravo 👏 This was not the first time a woman I was meeting for the first time enjoyed some weed before my arrival.
I also find that the “Soundscapes” TV channel provides a great backdrop for a long, relaxing ANR session. One partner sometimes likes to be on her cell phone during our sessions, which I have no problem with at all.
Hi Lala,
First time butterflies are a thing. The key is being comfortable with them prior to the meet. Establish your boundary prior. Ie clothes on/off… or topless skin to skin … positions you are ok with.
It is easier to have the convo ahead of time. As for what to do, you would need to reach into the why of this interest. Myself, I want to feel the bond and connection. Typically, you would find me with a smile on my face, eyes closed at time, hands gently stroking the face of the suckler or playing with their hair. I am totally consumed by the experience. It is transcendent for me.
Thank you both for responding. This is definitely some great insight
I met my first ABF partner in a restaurant before enjoying some hours of relaxed nursing. Meeting for a bite to eat, coffee, or something stronger is a great way to break the ice and get some rapport going before deciding on next step. If not completely comfortable then you can always bail.
The first time nursing someone is always awkward. Like Rose said, establishing boundaries ahead of time is very important and helps everything go smoother. Once they get latched on, it’s very relaxing. Sometimes I fall asleep a little,sometimes they fall asleep
Is it after the first visit or is the coffee part a whole separate meeting by itself.
If you meet up with them for coffee ahead of time, it’s a separate meeting. Just to make sure both parties are comfortable with each other first. When you are meeting someone face to face that you meet in the internet, always take what ever steps you need, take it as slow as you need to feel safe. Your personal safety and comfort is #1
Hi Lala,
Myself personally observe what I like to call the top priority list of a meet and greet with a person.
#1. I establish a message communication rapport with the individual over several weeks to ascertain if we’re even interested in the same things outside suckling, adult nursing relationships, wet or dry nursing, ideology on lactation, current relationship status must be confirmed, other fetish fantasies/desires. 100% of an ANR is based on attraction, mental and physical. If you can’t communicate outside your nursing activity, you won’t communicate once in it.
2. Sustainability of a relationship based on location. If a person isn’t within my driving distance, I won’t consider that individual. Its just a pain in the ass to schedule and even more difficult to sustain. Especially if you are expected to be the one lactating and keeping a supply and demand balance based on nursing.
3. How easy is it for you and your considered partner to contact or communicate with one another. Are there only strange hours you can contact this person, can you even contact this person? Do you only communicate here?
4. How many past relationships has this person been in and why did they end?
5. Does this person even have any ANR or ABF experience or will you have to be the one teaching them?
6. Is the intended partner only focused on the erotic or sexual aspect of meeting and is there any “hurried” expression of lets meet tomorrow kind of implication?
7. Are you ever asked to take your communications to some other instant messaging platform i.e. Snapchat, WhatsApp, Messenger, etc.
8. Make sure you always meet in a Public area where others are around. Never meet in a secluded or private area. And always always always let a close friend know where you’re going and when to expect you back.
9. Breakfast, coffee, lunch, dinner are all always great places to begin. If it makes everyone feel better split the check and go dutch.
10. Never engage in a nursing or sexual encounter on a first meet.
While not meeting the initial criteria of your focus group I’ll throw in my $.02.
First meet should always be in a public place. Keep it reasonably of short initial duration. Extend as necessary. Police stations are a fave of mine, if not that, a coffee house will do. 😜
Communicate much prior to and set up ground rules. They can be adjusted at a later date.
While I don’t go into an initial meet thinking that any breastfeeding will occur, it has happened about 50% of the time. Mainly at their insistence.
Being a breastfeeding gentleman, I am only more than willing to oblige. 🤗
ToT has a great checklist! The other ladies are a wealth of information. I hope that helps.All very practical and good points.
Bottom line is, good communication with each other, getting to know and feeling comfortable. Meet at safe public place first and then go with your vibes and intuition.
Personally, I will wait for actual nursing until we feel comfortable with each other. There should be no pressure or intimidation.
Good luck. Hope your journey starts with pleasant first experience.Wow. Vincent you met her on this site in new Jersey?
Hi,
I agree with Rose & Jessica. If u feel comfortable with them via online and/or phone communication, my next step is always to meet in public – Starbucks is usually my go-to. If u are not comfortable u end it there, no harm done for either. If u are comfortable and both want to move forward then u can do that as well. But, definite clear communication before any in-person meet explaining both of your boundaries, needs and wants. As for what I do personally during, I just enjoy the experience and usually run my fingers through their hair or massage their back. And yes first time jitters are completely normal. The main thing is to feel comfortable with your partner. If there is any seed of doubt at all, don’t move forward. Best of luck!Jeff,
The woman I referred to above is not from NJ and is not from this site. We did have plenty of communication before we met, which made for a very comfortable first meeting. There were no “surprises”. Just fun.
I love alot of the responses so far. I am very happy to read some of the suggestions. 1 thing I’d like to add is….
1. Have a safe call in place. You can stretch the truth to a friend and tell them your going on a date/blind date.
They do not need to know anymore then what you choose to disclose. You can coordinate a call at 1 hr. For check in.. or talk out a text plan. Exp. A. Text a code word..to Call to get you out of there! (Family emergency) or B. A planned timed Text from saying a code word to let them know you are ok. 🙂 they all work. But it’s important to have something in place.
Comfortable. On a first time is almost impossible. Not saying its doable it can absolutely happen. But is rare. You have nerves, anxiety , fear, being excited and many other thoughts ..racing in your mind all at once. (Which is totally ok) As long as you went into said meeting and felt safe prior too going. NEVER GO pressured.
What to do!? Enjoy yourself. And if he is too rough on the latch or the latch feels wrong. Speak up. Guys need guidance on how to properly latch, and what pressures are ok to latch on too. As every woman is different. And each of us prefer different pressures. Use pillows to adjust the pull on the aerola. Certain angels cause hickeys.
Things I would discuss BEFORE meeting.
1. Where to meet? You are the leader. If you want a hotel, car, your home, park. These are YOUR choices in comfort. Don’t let them change your comfort level to appease them.
2. Meeting in public first. Like the above stated. Star bucks is my go to place. You can talk about every day things in public. If they make you uncomfortable. Nothing is stopping you from getting up and walking away. But hopefully, he is as charming in person as he was on line. Winks.
I had a guy beg me for a hand job under the table at Starbucks once. He said “it was the least I could do for making him drive an hour and not give him any release for teasing him and no titty”. True story. (Not from this site) .
3. Discuss hand placement prior too meeting. This seems silly. But I have a red zone, yellow zone and green zone on where hand placement is allowed. Boobs, back, thigh, butt ect..
4. Discuss your limits on Kissing, sex. If these are NOT priority. Let it be known. They owe you nothing.
5. Good luck. I wish you the best and I can’t wait to hear all about it!!
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