- This topic has 13 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 weeks ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I do not have an ABF partner to practice with and have not had the opportunity to be with anyone.
Do you recommend suckling on a pacifier to become more experienced?
How long should one suckle each day for practice?
I’d really like to be someone who can be vetted as a good suckler on ABFHeaven since I’m not having any luck. I understand this is not the only aspect. But I’m hoping practicing this aspect can help me with my chances.
I think practicing with a drinking straw was once recommended? Maybe someone can link to the forum post.
Or maybe I imagined it ….UPDATE : here it is
Thank you Michael. That was very helpful.
I did not know the nipple needed to be deep within my mouth for it to be pleasurable. I can’t wait to try it with someone and become vetted. It’s my dream to be vetted.
I’ll be keeping count of how many milkshakes I’m drinking from now on!
In the Ladies chat the word of the day was ‘nipplerider’: a guy who sucks only the nipple. Painful for both.
When a suckling session is painful for either one of the partners, something is wrong.Thank you, yes, I remember the last shake I had was thick and required me to compress and suckle with significant pressure. However, I’m open to trying more thick versions to be vetted. Would you recommend any restaurants with good shakes that train for breastfeeding?
Also, how many milkshakes should I practice with before I am fully vetted?
Thank you for your time. i will definitely avoid any suckling of the nipple. I would hope training with milkshakes will help me with that aspect.
Because overall, I’d like to be vetted because I am having difficulties finding anyone interested if someone does not have a reputation or experience.
I’m open to other ideas of becoming vetted as well to increase my chances.
@asianmathnerd I’m uncertain what is meant about being vetted concerning abf/anr. It’s not like you practice driving and study the laws of the road before taking your drivers license exam.
Whenever you meet someone with whom you’ll engage in suckling it’s okay ask if you’re doing it correctly. Do you have an adequate latch? Should you ease off? Let her help you along.
The only certificate you’ll receive is her response to the enjoyment you’ve shared with each other.I get what you’re saying about communication once you meet someone. I agree with that.
The thing is getting to that point hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve been trying for months, posting many messages on different sites and putting real effort into it, and I’m just not getting responses.
When I say “vetted,” I don’t mean anything formal. I just mean having some kind of trust or credibility that makes someone more comfortable reaching out or responding in the first place.
From where I’m at, it feels like people who already have some kind of reputation or experience get more chances, and people who are new have a hard time even being considered. It kind of reminds me of entry level jobs or regular dating.
And actually if feels harder than entry-level jobs or regular dating because no matter what I post or write, I’m not getting responses. In those situations, at least you get some chance to show yourself, but with ABF it feels like I’m invisible no matter how much effort I put in.
@asianmathnerd
I thank you for your honesty. It takes a lot of nerve being so open about what you experience.
First off: we all experience the same. Months of messaging and chasing our dreams. You are not alone and women are by far outnumbered by men.
Secondly: online people can brag all they want about their experience. Its like fishing. At the ebd of thd day they all caught a dolphin. Uhuh.
Thirdly: you’ve got what it takes!! Really! You show willingness to get it right. And to communicate about it! And to listen! Sbf/anr is different with every new pargner, do thats a skill you will absolutely need. Too many prople are convinced ( or act like they are, who knows) and go ahead wighout checking regularly how their partner is doing. So please, its not insecurity, its bonding and thats what this is all about.
My advice would be: dont present yourself as insecure. You’re not, you know what you want. Everybody is nervous or excited, thats normal. Communicate.
Nothing wrong with being inexperienced. Growing and exploring together is a beautiful journey. Wish you all the luck!!Thank you for your wise perspective… It seems there are a lot more experienced people than there are inexperienced and that the party has finished and the song has stopped and everyone has sat down… Even then, if by a miracle (statistically speaking, not from insecurity), an experienced person does indulge in someone inexperienced, it is definitely not as appealing, nor is it frequently sought out for. People by nature seek experienced people, you can see this in work, the presidency of a country, even dating (most these days are seeking older men/older women).
I really really appreciate your differentiation between insecurity and nervousness/excitement. It sounds so simple, but it’s actually a big mindset shift that I recognize more clearly every day and need to remind myself unfortunately. I really hope to find someone who will smile and laugh with me one day. The only thing that keeps me going is a dream of traveling with a woman who enjoys nurturing and suckling as much as I do. Maybe that is too much to ask for. Although I may know what I want, that could be another problem in itself in a way.
Anyways, thank you for the wishes and the anecdote about the dolphin.
@asianmathnerd Thank you for reminding me i was assuming insecurity. I didnt check.
I dont agree inexperience is always less attractive. I dont know. Preferences do differ.
Furthermore, inexperience is curable. Lack of communication skills often is not.I am working hard on improving my communication skills every single day. I hope that will make up for my shortcomings with ABF experience.
Inexperience might not make someone less attractive, but it is definitely easier to meet an ABF partner if one has experience. You wouldn’t hire a graduate for a senior position, let a novice pilot fly a fighter jet, or elect the least qualified candidate for the presidency of a country.
There are more inexperienced ABF people than experienced ones. That means those searching for ABF tend to seek out people who already know how to handle things well. It’s the path of least resistance. It’s easier to be with someone who already has experience. In fact, in online ABF communities, profiles highlighting prior experience consistently get more responses and faster connections than those without.
I have been honest about my lack of experience, but that honesty does not help me at all.
You dont need to worry. Yours are fine. In the end honesty is always best.
I get what you’re saying, and I do believe honesty is always best in the end. I’ve been honest about my lack of experience, but that honesty hasn’t really helped me at all, as I have said.
After years of rejection for expressing my dreams and aspirations, I feel like I can’t do anything but worry. It’s been tormenting me for years despite all of my genuine efforts. So it’s hard for me not to worry, even if I want to believe things will work out. I can’t help but feel like my ambitions are far fetched for most people, even though I believe my dreams of connection are beautiful.
I also feel like most people don’t really have ambitions like this. Being well traveled, experiencing the world, different cultures, landscapes, and ways of life. A lot of people never even leave their own country. It’s easier to stay with what you’re familiar with than to be open to something different. It’s practically a law of nature. But apparently, I’m wired differently and always have been… And I’ve learned throughout my life that being different is not something most people are comfortable with…
Even when I try to share my soul, it doesn’t seem to connect. It’s like my ambitions are the compass of who I am, and when they’re not understood or shared, like I’m adrift without a partner.
To me there’s a beautiful freedom in seeing the world as a place of freedom and exploration, but I don’t think most people see it the same way. So I guess that makes it even harder for me to feel understood by people, especially when it comes to ABF and that kind of special raw connection it brings.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.