Great question received, any thoughts?

[Nici]

“Hello, “Nici”…
Congratulations on your recent graduation. I cannot seem to find anyone here on ABF who wants a long-term ANR. I have been looking for over 20 years, off and on via different sites and I am frustrated as heck. What do I do???? I said that I would give it six more months…

How have your experiences been on ABF so far?

I asked you because I got the feeling you were NOT looking for a sexual relationship, and you also didn’t post any inappropriate photos. That’s important to me.”

I have removed all of this gentleman ‘s personal info out of respect to him.

Ladies, anyone here specifically looking for a long term, real honest to goodness ANR, one rooted in intimacy first?

I figure that is the best way to help him. He is not on the East Coast USA, but seems willing to search anywhere for his partner.

As to my experience on here, overall I have found wonderful folks mainly and the only exceptions are gone, so perfect for me. I do admit I do not like focusing online and prefer to get offline as quickly as possible so I can determine truth before too entangled mentally. Still, if online, I prefer here. The admin does a great job keeping it more appropriate.

[MizzLizz]

Personally I have found that most men claim that they are looking for a partnership in ABF but honestly I feel that they get to have the experience a couple times and then fade away.
I think many men just don’t want to actually open up emotionally. I had better luck on diff sites than here.
That is my personal experience

[Rumina]

@lizzybeth, men are human, like women. Yes there are some assholes, like there are bitches out there too.
Women are often shamed for their sexuality and so lots of females have difficulty to let go.
Men are often shamed in society when showing emotion and feelings. So lots of them need time to open up.
I dont think most of them dont want to. Its vulnerable. We all are a little scared of that.

[Kat]

I think you are right @lizzybeth about the fading away. The only interactions I had when men wanted to start with nursing was exactly love bombing me into it and then creating a drama to the point of me hating them. I talk when I actually met them in person.

Then come crazy men that will happen eventually when you have zero things in common. One guy was still messaging me 1x a month and I kept blocking new numbers for 2years. He finally stopped not long ago. (I deleted my account on this website once or twice).

The fading happens a lot of times when you actually want them to be more and they don’t want a commitment. Not saying it is a bad thing. It is a good thing in a way. Let’s say it happens before you meet them and they already show pattern of chatting less frequently because they supposed to meet you soon. They are less and less contacting you. Then suddenly they text you 10 days later (because you forgot to block them) or a month or two months later. Even had a guy texting me 3 months later. Now, I am at least blocking soon after it is inappropriate to not contact someone in timely manner, so can’t say if they would text me a week later, but what is the point.

If a man loses his interest because emotionally he is not ready to be in a relationship, he should be honest about it and say that he is unable to be in a relationship, however he is seeking only friendship and some comfort that is platonic in abf. This way, it would be clear there is gonna be no sex and clear boundaries someone actually only wants to have that and some women maybe would prefer that.

But then there are men out there that will tell you platonic but lie about it. Run away. I hate when people lie and manipulate me into things I don’t want.

Emotional availability is absolutely NECESSARY for a romantic relationship between two people. If it is not for a relationship, but only ABF/ANR, then men should know it is unfair to ask for sex or anything that is beyond platonic if that is just that. Why women should put all that effort into someone with no future?

I personally no longer am willing to give chances to men because all that leads to one thing for them – fantasy to be with me but reality is they put zero effort and not planning to meet me,or if they meet me they expect to jump right on my breasts like I am an object. Not saying there isn’t a good man out there (GOOD MAN IS NOT STINGY, in case someone needs a reminder) wanting to date first to make you feel special and fall in love before there is incorporated adult nursing on regular basis.

And again, that love doesn’t come if someone isn’t emotionally available. It is not that they don’t share their feelings with us about something. It is that they are NOT even able to love us in a long run. Unable to love. It feels empty.

I am not saying anything new on here. It is all known to us. Men know it, women know it, people know it.

For the people saying they want ANR long term – not always it implies a romantic relationship. Please, add to it ROMANTIC word in your profiles so it is easier to recognize it for others to see you.

Ultimately, searching 20 years for a nursing relationship is a long time. I may never find one myself for 20 or 40 years and that is okay. Life is that. We don’t necessarily get what we want.

And tbh, I have talked to one woman in my area (not from this website) and upon making plans for meeting I found out she only wanted to have a coffee and then suckle me right after. I was like “well, are you serious you wanna go this route because I thought you wanted to date” and she said she wanted suckling relationship. My idea of suckling relationship and hers were different. Hers was more like “if we get used to each other you can move in” while mine was “if we fall in love and are compatible we can take it further” because that is dating someone.

I come to realize that I need to search people on normal dating sites and events and not through adult breastfeeding apps.

This website is great for making friends, but I think ultimately not great for finding love.

So, as much as i used to be frustrated about it, now I accepted it.

[Cut Tan]

@dairydaisy (Rumina):

:..men are human, like women. Yes there are some assholes, like there are bitches out there too.
Women are often shamed for their sexuality and so lots of females have difficulty to let go.
Men are often shamed in society when showing emotion and feelings. So lots of them need time to open up.
I dont think most of them dont want to. Its vulnerable. We all are a little scared of that.”

Breath of fresh air! Thanks saying it without sugar coating it or trying to make it PC. (I bet a lot of folks don’t see to see the cold facts!)

“I am not saying anything new on here. It is all known to us. Men know it, women know it, people know it.”

Now you are being very generous – you would be surprised at how many folks don’t know this and/or are in denial or who try to outsmart you!

[Nick]

There are plenty of members, male and female both, with similar stories. There are many different factors into play to start a long term ANR. It just needs patience. You have to invest time and efforts to know the other person. There are few happy stories too.

[Tom]

For a relationship, ANR or sexual intimacy should be one part of an integrated whole. There are certainly other aspects to life. While a deep experience or lots of fun can be had through this process, it is only one component to a day-to-day existence.

Let’s face it. Many here are shallow. There are certainly men working scams. Or else they think that ANR should work like fast food gratification. You pay a nominal fee, and then get what you want. You read about it from women constantly. Early on, I was warned by female that many women may not be telling the truth, or worse – such as engaging in prostitution or a grift of some sort.

I get to talking with someone, and then put on my private investigator’s cap. I have been shocked at how many women have been tied up in the court system, both civilly and criminally. So I look for baggage. Sometimes the legal problems are concomitant with mental illness.

When I began doing this lightly, it was years before the internet. It happened naturally, organically, by chance with girlfriends. It was just part our sex life. There as no talk of lactation. Oh, there was one offer by a Mormon girl in the mountains with pumping, injections, etc. But I said, “No.” It kind of surprised me. So I know lactation can really be a big deal for some. And this instance was before these ANR dating sites too.

For a relationship, you have to be a real person, a whole person. And to be a functional adult, you really can’t let some sort of fetish take over.

My advice, try dating, go slow, and attempt to integrate ANR into a well-rounded relationship.

All women are different. A good many like the stimulation. Maybe 25% get nothing out of it. While a distinct minority find it the greatest thing since sliced bread. There are times when the oxytocin rush can quickly turn to professions of love. So it’s like playing with fire. Be kind. Be careful.

[Author]

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