distance

[Stephanie]

This isn’t pointing anybody else specifically that I’ve talked to, but it’s a serious question. Why contact anybody out of your area that you don’t even have intentions with? It gets really old and annoying when people do that. We know that you’re just a joke. we know that you’re just playing games. Most people are not looking for somebody that far away. Just be straight up and honest and say hey look I don’t have any intentions with you.

I don’t even have any interest in anybody because I get sick of that game. I just have conversations and then they just lead themselves on anymore. You know because ha ha joke is actually on them. But I mean I’m pretty done with all this stuff anyways I’ve got other things to do in life. Wish others luck.

[Joe_Chill]

I think you’re 100% correct when it comes to dishonest people that have ZERO intentions or the desire to bridge any distance.
But there are those of us that do dare to reach out for the possibility of finding a partner that YES is at a distance… but mainly out of nessessity. Due to not being able to find a partner in our area or even on this site.
There are people like me that DO have every intention on going to visit a potential partner, sharing quality time together, even establishing routine visits, and ultimately mutually decide on relocation.

But yes, once you detect insincerity on taking steps… displaying actions on both merging for a continuous in-person relationship, kick’em to the curb.

[Stephanie]

yep, and as I told somebody else I can pump on my own for a whole year and induce, what the heck do I need somebody to play games and act interested for?

[Joe_Chill]

I completely agree with you again.
I HIGHLY value, no, not just the breastmilk, but the heart, the willingness and the process of inducing. That’s something precious and unique. And if a potential partner can’t appreciate and value that, they’re a moron. And you don’t want a moron in your orbit.

[Joe_Chill]

In all candor, there is a lady on this site that’s at a distance, outside of the country that (I started to get to know) I admittedly got too cocky and said something unintentionally that offended her (I honestly don’t even remember what it was.) But I regret that sooooo much, because I was already checking out realtors out there. I was already developing strong feelings for her. She told me a lot about her, her family and her goals. The distance meant nothing to me. I was going to conquer it.
Yes, she undeservedly and graciously never BLOCKED me. And I do see her around, but stay out of her way and don’t bother her, except for an occasional brief message. I wish rekindling things with her were a possibility because I think I fell for her. I can still hear her.
But I mention my experience to illustrate that I wasn’t messing around with someone that was at a distance. My intentions were real.

[Stephanie]

i’ve just had too many play games. If you aren’t interested in figuring out how you’re gonna meet somebody that’s far away then don’t even try contacting them. It is absolutely asinine to even disturb somebody you have no intentions with. There are too many more people, rare and few that are open about the ANR that could be wasting my time in a good way.

[ML]

I get where you’re coming from and I can understand it being frustrating when people reach out from miles away with no real intention behind it, which can make the whole place feel like a bit of a time‑waster’s playground.

I’m sure that nobody here wants to be strung along or treated like a distraction and I concur that both intentions and expectations should be established early on to reduce wasting anyone’s time.

That said, three days on the site isn’t much time to get a real sense of who’s genuine and who’s just passing the time. Some people do start conversations simply because they’re curious or because they’re still figuring out what they want. Others might actually be open to something but don’t know how to express it clearly yet.

Your point about honesty is spot‑on and if someone has no intention of anything then they should just say so. But I’d hate to see you write off the community spirit before you’ve even had a chance to meet the people who are sincere. Sometimes it takes a little longer for the right conversations to show themselves.

Either way, your boundaries are valid. Just don’t sell yourself short by assuming everyone here is playing games — some of us are actually here to connect and build both friendships and/or potential relationships.

[Stephanie]

I was a member along time ago. And I don’t know how many avenues you’re on, but I’ve been on many many since 2015. And I did specify nobody particularly so it doesn’t really matter which person it could be or how. The matter of time on one place doesn’t really matter either. It is this plain and simple fact of having respect. We all have the right to have something to say. So diminishing the fact of somebody else else’s experience and you are a male on top of this. You should actually read a lot of the females messages that we get.

[ML]

I hear you, and I appreciate you explaining where you’re coming from. You’ve clearly been dealing with this for some time and I’m not trying to take anything away from that. I understand that the way women get approached online is very different from what us men see and I don’t doubt for a second that you’ve had to deal with a lot of disrespect and time‑wasters over the years.

My point wasn’t to diminish your experience, far from it, I was only trying to say that sometimes a new space can take a little time to show its true colours and that’s not me telling you your history doesn’t matter but just sharing a different angle. You’re absolutely right that respect should be the baseline and nobody should have to put up with people leading them on or messaging with zero intention.

I wasn’t aiming your post at me personally and I didn’t take it that way. I just wanted to add that not everyone here is playing games even if it often feels like it. Your frustration is valid and I’m not arguing against it but just offering a bit of balance from my side.

At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to navigate this in our own way and your voice is as important as anyone else’s.

[Stephanie]

we all know not every single person is but the majority are playing games. That’s the point we keep trying to make all over the place and we really don’t wanna make posts about how many men are being complained about on all aspects of the Internet nowadays.

[Grogman 🍑🚀💙]

To answer your question the reasons for contacting someone are varied. When seeing something in a profile whether it be their writing style, a funny quip, a shared desire, I may let them know in a pm. It lets them know that they have a kindred spirit from afar. Perhaps it will become a seed for a friendship. That is never a waste of time. Often there isn’t any chance that we will ever meet. It is still worthwhile to take time to do so.
I hope that you converse and meet someone worthwhile.🤗

[Joe_Chill]

I’m in your camp for sure.

I for one AM willing to take that flight or make that drive.

Oh! I do suggest that you state your fair expectations on your About Me section. Make it clear as day. @milkysnuggles48

[Stephanie]

selective hearing and reading and it’s best is what happens even when you do that much

[Joe_Chill]

@grogman
BTW Mr G, what’s “prefering a peach” mean?

[Rumina]

@joechill that’s jealousy speaking. Tame the green devil. We all love Grogs peach. We chase it in the puzzles.
Thats a man who has the guts to post in spicy chat, have some fun and doesnt take it all too seriously.
He gets pathetic reactions from angry scared little men who are afraid they’ll catch something when looking at something else than a boob.
Thos guys are not masculine: they are small boys refusing to grow up.

[Author]

Posts