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Hello, I’d like some advice please…
So I’ve been on this site for a few weeks now and I actually did meet someone, which was a bit rushed, we met a coffee shop not too far from me and within a maybe an hour, came back to mine…there was no build up or anything. The suckling itself was sublime but the rest of it was a bit awkward. The guy I met, well he basically introduced himself more-or-less as soon as my profile had been approved and I genuinely liked him but after our encounter, he pulled away for a while. I started chatting to others then he returned and offered something entirely different. I stopped chatting to the others in the name of integrity. It’s hard for me to think that I may have just been used but I have to face facts. I’m rather gutted as I enjoyed messaging him and I told him things that I wouldn’t tell anyone else so quickly. Even as I type this I’m still confused.
Anyway, the quickest way for me to get over him is for me to get back on my horse and try with someone else. This is what I’d like advice on. How do I do this properly? I’m not on social media and I’ve never used an online dating app, heck, I’ve not even been on a regular date for a long time! I’m not massively keen on typing as a way to get to know someone. I was introduced to Telegram, maybe that’s a safe alternative? Or I’m quite happy to leave voice notes on this site. And how long do I leave it? The first time was under a week. Then, what if I meet them and just really fancy them (like the first time), is it okay to just go back with them there and then? Okay, so there’s self-respect (which I have) but it’s the 21st century! But then I run the risk of being used and let down again. I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks 😊Hi, it’s nice of you fellas to send me private messages saying getting back on my horse is a good idea but I didn’t post this is an invitation to be hit on. If you want to offer some advice, please be respectful and do so on here. Thanks 🙂
I think you just have to be yourself and the right person will come along. Until then, try not to overthink it or second guess things too much. Ultimately, what’s meant for you will find you, and until then – anyone who comes and comes, it’s their loss. Good luck with it!
Im not sure if im correct but my advice is to do what you feel comfortable with and trust your gut feelings . Ken
It seams a one night event is not desirable to you. I suggest simply extending the courtship to 3-4 times,or whatever you are comfortable with, to build a connection that is more to your liking prior to taking your bra off.
I would just be upfront that you’re looking for more long term. Wait until you’re past the awkward stage before allowing intimacy/nursing. Sadly, being let down is a part of dating whether it involves ANR/ABF or not! As for the not typing to get to know someone, I would stick with voice messages through here until you meet someone in person, then switch to phone. There’s several apps that allow you to create a second line for free if you don’t want them to have your real phone number right away.
I understand that you’re a newbie to this kink, so what I’m about to say may sound harsh, but it’s truly meant as constructive criticism for you as a newbie.
It’s a shame that a one-time suckling session gets classified as “being used”.
You “used” him just as much as he “used” you. If you both enjoyed the encounter and no physical harm was done, then great…you had a successful ABF session.
But here’s the distinction I read between the lines about you: you’re looking for an ANR, and aren’t really happy with just an ABF. But you can’t develop an ANR without first experiencing an ABF. Having ABF sessions are a necessary and expected part of the process. You can’t expect every ABF session to turn into an ANR. One of the beauties of folks like us is that we know what we’re looking for and don’t play games before getting straight to the point (and you know what I’m referring to).
You asked for advice going forward. Here’s my suggestions to you:
1) Screen everyone you think you’d like to meet in person by first having an in-depth voice phone conversation (NOT TEXTING!) or a video call. Video is preferable because you can verify if profile info matches what you see during the video call. As best you can, see if you sense that the man truly is into breast play and is not using ANR/ABF as a gateway to get you in a compromising position to press for more intimate activities. If he passes this screening, go to Step 2.
2) Meet like you did before at a coffee shop or ice cream parlor or any other non-alcoholic venue. There’s nothing like a face-to-face to assess chemistry and judge character. If both of you feel comfortable with each other in person, there’s no reason not to move immediately afterward to a private suckling session. You may feel more comfortable if you host at your place rather than go to his.
3) Use this initial session to further evaluate how you two relate to each other. Like any “first date” encounter, hope for the best for future repeats, but don’t get despondent if it doesn’t materialize.
I have used this methodology (successfully) for years. Sometimes things turn into an ANR. Othertimes, it’s just an enjoyable one-time ABF encounter. It’s all part of the process. You don’t expect every first date to lead to a second date, do you? Of course not. You should take the same REALISTIC approach to your ANR/ABF experiences.
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