A quick update: what’s OK and not OK on ABFheaven.com?

[Michael_Admin]

Just a quick update to recent issues with female members complaining about constant annoying messages:

TO BE CLEAR: Most guys on this site behave totally fine. They send out a few messages, “How’s it going? Fancy a chat?” , a few friends requests. All good, no problem.

But there are a few who basically spam all the women, demand photos, and so on. It’s a small number, but very irritating if you are on the receiving end.

So I will be looking at some low-key ways of reducing this. Of course it’s impossible to totally stop such behaviour, but a few simple measures will help.

I will add a list of “what’s OK and not OK on this site” to the FAQs page. Just so it’s clear to all.

Women – if you are receiving annoying messages and you feel that simply blocking the sender is not enough, then contact me via PM. I am always happy to help. If it’s just annoying behaviour, I will warn them. If it’s more serious, I will delete their account. I want these guys removed. Please help me remove them.

AGAIN TO BE CLEAR: I don’t want this site to become a rigid list of rules, it stifles interaction. The vast majority of initial messages are sent by guys, friendly greetings, unrequested, and long may it continue.

I am looking at more technical fixes for these issues, eg. on your SETTINGS page, the ability to select who can message you ie. anyone/friends only etc.

Just an update.

[Anonymous]

Thanks Michael, I’m sure the ladies will not disagree with you there. It’s sad that something like that even has to be said and done… some see a “no thank you” as the worst rejection ever!

Men like that make the rest of us look bad so thank you again for stepping up to the plate.

[Nursinglass]

Hi Michael, I just want to thank you for your thoughtful attention to these issues, and let you know you’re doing a great job! As a woman here, I’m very appreciative. 🙂

[Jim]

If I send a friendly greeting but get no response, it’s time to move on. Fairly simple concept lol.

[Anonymous]

I am relatively new on the site and very safety conscious. I had been communicating with someone near me. We were supposed to meet for lunch. We were in constant contact and said he was so excited to meet me. I rearranged my day and he texted me good morning and by 12 I saw the light. Perv , no show . Really a shame when you are a decent sincere person. When he called me babe I was thinking ..sounds like an old man. I should have known he was not too savvyl I will screen much better.Darla420

[Michael_Admin]

Darla,
The only possible advice I can give:

Switch from texting to talking on the phone ASAP after you first make contact.
Liars love texting.
Liars hate talking on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Well new to this all. So point to but consider for guys out there; just because a lady does not respond does not mean she is not interested. But rather consider she maybe inundated and overwhelmed. Speaking for myself, this is entirely new to me. I am wading in slowly and seeing how the tide is pulling me.

[Anonymous]

Is there a way to restrict the amount of bare chested male profile pics on the site? While I’m sure some of the ladies do appreciate seeing this, does it not also constitute unsolicited nudity for those of us that don’t want to see that? Just my two cents but I think if someone wants to showcase their bare torso (male or female) then the private pictures section is the place to that, no?

[Author]

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