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Slight change:
The list of Recent Site Visitors which displays on every page, had an option which showed the most “popular” site members ie. who has got the most friends on ABFheaven. Pretty pointless, in my opinion. This site is not a popularity contest, it’s a place for everyone to have a chance to find a real one-on-one relationship.
In addition, members have mentioned to me that they have sometimes received friends requests from people seemingly only wanting to boost their friends total, to get to the top of that list. Again, pretty pointless.
So with that in mind, the “popular” option has been removed.
thanks michael as always!
Absolutely agree. Its obvious it was a popularity contest. Although that’s something I’ll never have to worry about winning 🤣🤣🤣
COMPLETELY AGREE MICHAEL. THANK YOU 🙏!
It removes the high school popularity contest and need for external validation. 👍🏻👍🏻🎉🎉🥃
Excellent move, Michael Who cares how many friends someone collects… its not a contest. It is about the one on one.
None of it matters since I don’t have a check mark!
Thank you! I actually used that list to weed out friend collectors, lol. Thank you for your continued efforts in keeping this site running smoothly 💗
There ya go Deborah, green checkmarked! Just temporary.
The “verified member” thing will be implemented soon for all users. I’m still looking at how it can be useful on this site. It will probably be quite simple : eg. anyone who’s ever made a donation to the site, or anyone who’s had some kind of voice-interaction with me, etc., will be considered “verified”. To be decided, anyway. It won’t be compulsory for anyone. But it will be searchable on the Search box via a new checkbox “Show verified members only” , which should be a slight incentive to get verified. We shall see.
Asking users to “verify” themself on a site like ABFheaven is something which has to be handled very tactfully. Obviously most users want to be totally, completely anonymous. That will always be respected.
That “Popular” dynamic was an overtly low-brow sheeple magnet, and the definition of wasting everyone’s time. I was personally using the Popular column to identify and block the “friend collector” community.
There should be a way to separate people who want to leave this site with someone else, from the people who only want to stay here and chat with everyone. Both are fine but they are 2 completely different goals and with completely different attitudes. I don’t want to be “Verified” I want to BE in an ANR, such that I’d never come back here 😛 (No offense).
Hi delicatessen, yes I totally get what you are saying. It’s probably too difficult to have any formalized approach to separating members into categories “dedicated/casual/just wanna chat & flirt” , that kind of thing. Most people are a bit of a mix. And I can’t see into anyone’s mind. So the current state of affairs is here to stay for now, I’m afraid.
Re. verified members, it’s just an idea currently. Might be useful, might not. If users think it’s an imposition on privacy, it won’t be implemented. It would always be optional anyway.
@tuehlykv I had a convo on Reddit with a woman and we mused the thought of verifying someone as authentic about their interests in abf/anr. Verifiable only by women who are themselves verified. Especially since there are women who encounter men who swear up and down they “love tits” but use it as a means to get their own gratification, and it’s hard to vet the legitimately interested.
I was wondering if such an idea could be implemented here. Then again, I recognize this site also leans more towards finding a partner, so it wouldn’t necessarily work unless it’s for the women here who are more interested in casual/short term meets.
ExperAbf, I think verification can only sensibly be used to confirm someone is what they say they are (m/f), and where they say they are (location). It would just be a simple extra layer of confidence one would have when messaging etc. Beyond that, it can’t be used to indicate “genuine intention”, that’s too open to interpretation.
You don’t have to read minds, you just have to give us the option to identify ourselves appropriately. People will self-categorize, mechnically it’s no different than selecting your gender, or whether you smoke. There’s really no ABF/ANR specific categorization on any of these dating sites, ironically.
The verified feature would be a very welcome addition within the same crowd who likes to collect friends; the Facebook crowd loves a Seussian beach.
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