How to Find a Unicornby
Over the past year and a half, I have shared my journey. It started with a search for self-understanding, became a discovery of like-minded friends, evolved into exhilaration of meeting potential LTRs and I experienced heartbreak. Courage to continue my journey was required and fueled by the magic of finding THE ONE! They are always the last place you look.
The journey began with one decision, as most journeys do, I had many years ahead of me and I wanted to spend them living, not just existing. While streaming Netflix, knitting socks and baking cookies for my grandchildren had its rewards, my true desire was to find someone with similar wants and needs, looking to share this phase of life and all the adventure, love and passion it had to offer. It was my turn, my time and I was willing to risk it all to find my unicorn.
My life became filled with preparation. I had a home to sell and plans to make. I knew I did not want to continue to live in Idaho and was willing to relocate, hopefully with my yet to be discovered partner. Now was the time to cut all the cords and throw caution to the wind, possessing the knowledge my future was in my hands but allowing myself to be guided by the forces of the Universe.
My home sold, non-essential belongings were placed in a storage unit and my motorhome was loaded for the journey. I planned on taking a year to travel, meet people and hunt for my elusive unicorn while sharing my experience along the way. New wardrobe and bowling ball was acquired.
The decision was made to spend the winter in a warmer climate, so I headed south. I had reservations at an RV resort in Pahrump Nevada with all the amenities needed. Although I had owned and driven previous motorhomes, they were class C and similar to driving a large van. This time I chose a class A coach, (her name is Fiona) knowing this would be my home for all intents and purposes.
I was thrown deep into the learning curve as the first leg of my journey was at the end of December and plagued with snow-packed icy roads and wind. The sun was long gone when I found myself needing to spend the night boondocking (without hookups) at a truck stop while the storm passed. It was quite nice to be able to park, be comfortable and safe with all my needs met. Snuggled in my bed streaming Netflix I exhaled and felt relief knowing the journey had begun.
The first destination was over 700 miles, 250 were behind me when I began day two and being the type A personality that I am I was determined to spend my second night at the resort with full hookups and a good soak in the hot tub. Although I had talked with several people about safety, I did not heed the warning to stop during high winds. The seriousness of the situation became apparent, even though I had slowed down to 40 mph, when 10 miles from my destination a gust of wind blew me off the road. The grace of angels saved me as all my strength went into holding the steering wheel as tight as I could while pulling the coach back up onto the road. Fiona and I bonded in that moment. I pulled into the resort and due to the late arrival, I called the phone number on the closed gate to have security assist me. The security guard arrived and gave me the pass codes and literature I would need and informed me in which space I would be located. I requested his help, having never been there before, and followed him through the resort as he led me to my assigned site. Since I was traveling alone and visibility was limited in the darkness, he guided me as I backed the coach into the site, shifted into park and turned off the engine. I was so exhausted and sore I didn’t even want to get out to plug into the shore power so I asked him if he would be willing to plug the power in for me. He hesitated then smiled stating he had never plugged in an RV before. I advised him I was sure he would do a wonderful job and thanked him for letting me take his virginity. It was at that moment I knew this was going to be a wild ride filled with delightful people. We became good friends while I stayed at the resort and he often stopped to say hi and visit. I laid on the bed feeling every muscle in my body aching, even my butt cheeks were sore from the energy and strength used over the last two days. I asked myself if it was worth it and the answer was loud and clear. YES!!! It’s not easy finding a unicorn and endurance is required. Later I learned the wind gusts were as high as 70 mph. The reality of the force and energy in the experience became apparent the next morning when I discovered several hinges and hydraulic lifts for the cupboard doors snapped with the twisting endured. I learned great respect for mother nature’s moods and swore never to drive in high winds again.
The next three months were filled with fun adventures. Many new people were met and even some flights for visits to see if “chemistry” existed.
Red Flag: when you meet a guy that has longed to be with you and suckle but he is too busy with his laptop to connect with you, it’s not a good match! LOL
“When a man doth mind is otherwise displaced, taketh out the breastestests and place upon an alter for thine eyes to fall upon. Boobalations 2:58” Thank you Jessa!!!
Girlfriends visited and we discovered there were brothels close by that surprisingly were open for tours and lunch. Yes, we went, and it was quite an experience! Surprisingly they had no knowledge of ANR/ABF so I could not pass up the educational opportunity and shared our lifestyle information and the website. They were surprised.
I participated in fun social activities and had a custom bowling ball made with my name engraved, bowling shoes were also purchased. I bowled many games with friends but all the while my heart was still longing for that special someone.
Spring was on its way and my time to get moving across country was fast approaching, I had made some friendships online and had plans to make many stops along my way to Massachusetts. In my search I have discovered many things about myself. When I made my list of what I need and what I want in a relationship, having ANR be a part was high on my list. Many of you know I am a professional polarity therapist, massage therapist, Reiki master and also work with crystals and gemstones. I have always been mainstream working closely with medical professionals. I have been in office with a medical doctor, naturopath and chiropractors. I created and ran an alternative therapies program for a hospice agency for six years. I also had a near death experience at the age of nine which made me very open to some other non-mainstream experiences as a medium. I consider this a very sacred/spiritual side I usually do not share openly. I had lost hope of finding someone who could embrace my gifts and sacred/spiritual philosophies, so they had been moved down on my list of priorities in a partner. Then I met someone who was very interested in my unique qualities and I was amazed at how open and hopeful I felt. He was experienced in ANR and I could hardly wait to meet him. We spoke several times a day and used Zoom to video chat. It didn’t take long to know we did not have the right chemistry but the experience made me look long and hard at my priorities.
You cannot find your true partner until you embrace and share your unique true self.
I thought ANR/ABF was my priority, a need, and finding someone experienced or desiring would be the hard part. But I found the rarity for me was the sacred/spiritual partner and it truly was what I needed most in my life. I was willing to move ANR/ABF down my priorities list to a want and seek someone who understood, loved and did not consider my unique self scary or strange. But I wanted the whole chimichanga.
I had exhausted my connections, was feeling discouraged and began to cancel future arrangements to meet some gentlemen who had become friends. Maybe I would instead spend the summer visiting girlfriends, enjoying walks on the beach and follow my genealogy trail where it led me hoping for a sense of fulfillment that would lessen my loneliness and bring some joy. I would look for a new home to purchase where I would settle down and lose myself in my work and teaching.
Then it happened. There was a rustling in the bushes and the glimpse of, could it be, an elusive unicorn.
I told him I am an old hippie, shared my unique self and found we had much in common. We shared our philosophy of life and how we cherished the joy only found in a deeply bonded relationship. The excitement was palpable and each time we talked we felt closer to each other.
Several days passed and we had checked many boxes on our needs and wants list. There had been no red or yellow flags. I was scheduled to host an audio chat and knew the time had come to discuss ANR. Even though I had made the decision ANR was not a deal breaker, I had my fingers crossed. I took a deep breath and then stated, “I hope you are a boob man!” He kind of laughed and said “Well I guess so, why?” So, I started at the beginning and told him my story. He was very interested and wanted to know more. I sent him the link to my blog posts so he could read the full story and shared about the ANR/ABF lifestyle. He was very interested and eager to read the information. I had to go host the chat and told him I would call when finished.
Two hours later I called him and was very anxious to hear what he thought after reading the blog. With much relief he said it sounded wonderful and he was anxious to have an ANR relationship. He was going to practice the milk shake method (thanks Grogman) and was even more excited for us to meet.
I knew in that moment my plans had changed and I would be headed to his home to see if this was the person I had been looking for to spend the rest of my life with.
Instead of wondering how I would spend my summer and find the joy I was seeking, I became filled with excitement and was counting the days until we could be face to face and hold each other.
After three days of driving I reached his home and parked Fiona. He was standing outside to greet me and we excitedly hugged and shared our first kiss. He was everything I had hoped for and he felt the same way about me. Our days together were filled with conversation and closeness that turned into knowing we both felt our greatest joy when we were together.
One day he came home mid-morning. I was in the office he had created for me, organizing papers when he came in and sat down. He began to tell me about an experience that had deeply impacted him. He found a book with an inscription in the front cover written by a woman to a man she loved. It said she had to end her relationship with him because he would not commit and marry her. He then shared he was not willing to take a chance of losing me because he did not commit. In that moment he asked me to marry him, and I accepted. We knew there was no reason to wait to have joy in our lives. No more days to waste. We set the date and with a few friends and family we had a proper hippie wedding, tied the knot and jumped over a broom!
We both feel deeply blessed to find each other and hope to share more of our story in the future. In November we will be starting a couples chat and blog. He will be joining the website and we will continue to support the community and couples on their ANR/ABF journey. I will continue to be here to help all the beautiful women in the Sunday morning chats.
Thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement along my journey.
Love you all and see you soon!