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Hi all,
It’s a holiday for me so thought why not talk about something that came up in
Lola’s discussion thread about uneven power on the internet sites like this when looking for a partner. The need for release and the discontent it festers when it isn’t fulfilled by the other gender.We all come here looking for the other to fulfill us in some ways when in actuality the fulfillment starts from inside us..
What I would like to know before even breasts come on to the picture is the whole of you as that’s the most interesting and unique aspect of all of us…..not our physical selves and believe me some people are really blessed in that regard (I blame god :-)) but the inner self 🥰🤗🔥.
That’s because the physical selves change and wither way ultimately but the inner selves.. are the ultimate treasure chest you will find in each other ..a heart made of gold..or diamonds or pearls (pirates like pearls for some unknown reason) 😉 😉
I mean we all say we’re all those things in our bios but what is it that we do every day in every interaction we have with others that puts this side of ourselves forward because this makes a huge difference for me in whether I can move forward in a certain friendship or not.
Your true inner self which is a gem worth holding onto and presenting to the world.. so here’s your chance .. go for it .. 😍😘💕 show me your inner self that shines with the light that is uniquely you.
I will start with me ..my inner self is all about evolution, nurturing, growth, pushing the boundaries of things I can change and understanding why other things are so stubborn to change.. give me a good puzzle and I would try to solve it to the best of my abilities..
So who are you ? What makes you spring up in the morning with joy .. shouting Eureka .. I found the treasure I am seeking within me ..?
I love this, Sparkling! ❤️
I’ve always been fascinated by what makes people tick. I want to know what makes you laugh until you cry, what you get ridiculously excited about, what you’ve changed your mind about over the years, and maybe even what you’re still figuring out.
I suppose I’m a bit of a contradiction myself. I love a ridiculous conversation full of teasing and nonsense just as much as one that keeps me thinking long after it’s over. And I certainly don’t have myself all figured out yet! 😂
But I think we reveal far more about ourselves in the little moments than we realize. How we handle disappointment, whether we can admit we’re wrong, how we treat people when there’s nothing in it for us. Those things tell me much more than a beautifully written profile ever could.
And while I agree that what’s inside matters enormously, I’m not about to pretend physical attraction doesn’t matter to me. I enjoy a handsome face and a little chemistry as much as the next woman! 😉 I just find it so much more intoxicating when there’s a fascinating person behind those pretty eyes.
I think the loveliest connections happen when you can enjoy someone’s mind, their body, their humor, and even their peculiar little quirks. The whole wonderfully imperfect person.
Sparkling, thank you for this Sparkling Gem, and Lola, thank you for reminding us that our light inside is a reflection off our many, but individualized facets, from looks, to skills, to life experiences. So just like the twinkle of a star, and the colors we perceive, we are all a mixture of small packets of light.
I agree Lola that the outside matters but it’s a distraction sometimes and it doesn’t really let the deeper impressions form because the chemistry sometimes is just off the charts and ignites way too fast. We all have fantasies and it feels other worldly to make them happen but in reality the things that will make 2 people click are the other places of compatibility that one might overlook in the heat of passion or flirting. Like you said I completely agree the deeper parts are what holds the attention but that’s easier said than done especially in this internet world with all of the outer distractions of desire, attraction, chemistry etc.
And I think this is where time comes in. Chemistry can happen in an instant, but getting to know someone? That takes time. And sometimes a little restraint, which isn’t nearly as much fun!
I think it’s lovely to get swept up in that initial excitement. I certainly wouldn’t want to take the passion out of any of this! But I also want to know who someone is once the butterflies settle down a bit. Can we still laugh together? Have wonderful conversations? Enjoy each other’s company when we’re not flirting?
I suppose the trick is enjoying the excitement without letting it make all our decisions for us. And goodness knows that’s easier said than done!
I enjoy both the social and personal aspects of the nursing community…I have found hiking buddies, wine friends, and those dedicated to the arts…all activities that allow introspection and conversation…
From a personal level I have found kindred spirits who enjoy common interests, varying ideas, different world views…the things that create bonds, comfort, and conversation.
I truly focus on the FWB, with the emphasis on friend and comfort…this brings about a calmer partnership with a focus on commonalities and shared fulfilling experiences…the benefits are a shared smile!!😁
I am sapiosexual first… intelligence, curiosity, and wit. Conversational, edgy, friendly, and inquisitive!!..
Yes, so you are on a lot of different sites and find the like-minded people near you ? Or you spend a lot of time traveling to find them? I mean these are not easy answers but relevant. If you would answer then it would be very helpful to know the dating process to people like me.
Do you get attracted by the visual? Would you send a friend request to a wonderful but not so good looking person? I have to say I am very active on the site but people only message me when they see a spicy picture. One person actually forgot my name and called me by another woman’s name..that’s how forgetful my personality is I guess ..
I am just trying to understand what sapiosexual means to you. Do you find that women only reply to you based on your looks ?
Yes Lola I really agree with you it takes patience, give and take and restraint. God help us 🤣🤣🤣
“So who are you ? What makes you spring up in the morning with joy .. shouting Eureka .. I found the treasure I am seeking within me ..?”
A lovely, well-written article Sparkling. That elusive treasure within? To find my own complete insignificance. After all, isn’t that what we seek from ABF?
Thanks, Sparkling! ✨️
Just your average mammal, traversing the landscape of life…
Sapiosexual — BGIF: brain goes in first.
Make love to a woman’s brain, and the rest of her will inexplicably follow.Yes absolutely Peter, I mean you have me there so splendidly…if a guy gave me that answer I might just follow him around like a puppy.. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I say that because I love intelligent people and also because he/she got the essence of abf/anr correctly and the rest of course are details in the sense that we may or may not be right for each other which might unfold over a period of time of learning about each other.
Not so average 🙂 and hoping to traverse the landscape of connectedness 😉
What makes me tick? I need connection. Brain comes first. I need a challenge, i am eager to learn new things, have new experiences, want to know about the other person. Need some speed in conversations too.
I love sparring with someone who is open for discussion, not to fight or win/lose, its not a cpmpetition, but to explore if we can dive deep into the matters we discuss and also its testing the waters. Does someone stand for what he says, or is he easily offended, judgmental or not? I find out lots by the way someone is talking and thinking. Its really interesting. We dont have to agree, thats not my goal. Just a mindblowing conversation please.
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