- This topic has 15 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hi All,
Being single, I have tried vanilla dating sites from time to time with some success. I’m perfectly happy to date a thoroughly-vanilla lady – it’s not a deal-breaker at all. But still, while viewing each profile, or approaching a first date, in the back of my mind, I was always wondering: Might she be into, or even just OK, with my interest in ANR/ABF, etc? Could I even be open about that interest to her without being rejected?
Then the grand first date would arrive! How exciting! Of course, I want to know all about her – her background, her likes, her pet peeves, her goals for a relationship, and all the rest.
But while I’m doing my best to be a good gentleman, I find that I have questions that I hesitate to bring up too soon, or maybe even ever. Is patience really a virtue, or is it just torture?
And then, with luck, the magic moment comes when hugs and maybe more are shared. I’m so close to her, and to her breasts, too! Oh my! Will she flinch or pull away from me if I try to cup one in my hand? Such a scary yet thrilling moment!
I could go on, but what I really want to know is how does an interest in ANR impact vanilla dating from a woman’s point of view?
Thank you. 🙂
I’m pretty new to this lifestyle, but how I’m feeling right now is that I could never go back to vanilla and be satisfied. I was in a LTR with a man who was not interested when I first learned of it and I was immediately intrigued. I was happy to continue in that relationship without (having never experienced it). I mean, a usual amount of breast play was a part of our sexual life, but I’d never had the extended suckling that leads to the deep relaxation and euphoria that I am now hooked to. But that’s just how I feel today 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for your insights.
In general, the vanilla relationships I’ve had have also been with women that, at best, enjoyed a “normal” amount of breast-play as a prelude to sex. Anything more could elicit questions (“what are you doing?”) or requests to stop. I’ve tried to be content with that, especially as the relationships were great in so many other ways.
The few genuinely-dedicated nursing relationships I’ve had were sought and found overtly (i.e., via the now-defunct Craigslist personals). What sweet treasures those memories are!
I’d like to say that “I’d never go back” to vanilla too, but finding a potential life-partner including an ANR can be quite difficult. My sense is that an ability and willingness to move is almost essential (luckily I’m able to).
I think it depends on the person. Some people are more open and sexually adventurous than others. All of us were “vanilla” at some point and eventually got here either through the suggestion of another or a coincidental Internet search. Also the diversity within this community can be vast, some wanting a romantic relationship with ANR and others prefer casual breast worship. I would suggest asking questions, take the person’s temperature, and when it’s the appropriate time, broaching the topic. I might also suggest that most women appreciate more foreplay than they usually get, so perhaps more breast attention might not seem so out of place. I’m a pretty open person and have been described as a “free spirit” lol. So, when the idea was first suggested to me, I wasn’t interested for a variety of reasons, but wasn’t put off by it, either. After a few more suggestions, I got curious enough to check it out myself. The rest is history, as they say.
I actually state on my vanilla profiles that I enjoy the nursing lifestyle. Most of the vanilla sites filter out ANR ABF and adult breastfeeding adult nursing; for some reason they do not filter out nursing lifestyle which opens the door to a more in-depth conversation with someone who shows an interest. Most men, much to my surprise either know what I’m referencing or ask me. They don’t let it slide. The ones who never say anything about it I specifically will open dialogue about it with. As we age, there is NO reason to waste time if its important to you to have this in any relationship type you are considering. And for me, I won’t enter into a relationship without this being the core or most common bond between us. While I agree there should be more then just this for a lifelong commitment, this has to come first and never ending.
I’m glad to hear you are up-front about your interest even on vanilla sites. More women should be.
Years ago, I could search for “ANR” and the like, but few if any sites let you search for keywords like that any more (all actually-useful features always disappear eventually! Why is that!?). When I’d find the rare lady who put that out there an electrifying thrill would reverberate within me!
As for myself, my career is somewhat public and sensitive, so I could never risk actually asking for what I want. It’s so sad, really, to have to suppress one’s needs and desires. But I guess that’s why sites like this exist.
You know those “behavioral advice for men” posts that some women like to author over, and over, and over, and over in forums? If you ask for breastfeeding on PoF/OKC, you’re going to generate another one of those.
I don’t ask for “kinky” things on vanilla sites. But it’s sad when people can’t be themselves and openly seek what their hearts desire. Dating sites would be more useful and successful for people if there was less pressure to conform to lowest-common-denominator mores.
POF is obnoxiously regressive in this respect, and I binned that one a decade or more ago. OKCupid is, or was, more tolerant of diversity, but has been over-run with scammers and other dregs.
Is there any vanilla site left out there that isn’t a dumpster-fire?
For me, I know that I want and need this in my life and therefore relationship. Being older I know life can be short and I’m grateful to be alive. So I won’t and don’t date vanilla. I suppose if someone that was good match fell in my lap who was vanilla I would certainly attempt to bring abf to our relationship. I think many more people would enjoy it if they knew about it and felt safe exploring it. But ultimately at this point in my life I have chosen not to live without it in my relationship.
I’ve had more luck on Fetlife than anywhere else so far. It’s not a dating site however.
@beginner3 – Couldn’t agree more. I had a beautiful ANR relationship with my late wife. Tried the vanilla dating scene some years after I was widowed, and have decided that I can’t and won’t date any woman that isn’t interested in a beautiful ANR bond too. It is that important to me, because I’ve experienced how truly special it really is. Those that know, will know what I’m talking about.
@nips4fun I’m very sorry for your loss. Though it’s lovely that you both experienced ANR together, I hope you have some lovely memories. I hope you find the right person.
@beginner3 – thank you for the kind words. I will keep searching for that special lady to share with. She’s out there somewhere. Where there’s will there’s always a way.
That is not true. I swiped right on a tinder profile entirely based on his profile saying he was looking for an ANR. Unfortunately, it did t work out, he blew me off for a week and then messaged as if he hadn’t ignored me. Oh well, I’m not sitting around to be at someone’s neck and call.
@ Dr Sensitive, they are all dumpster fires. On occasion you will find some quality people, but you have to really think about whether your time and effort is worth potentially wasting
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.