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I really am sorry, Y’all,
If my attempts in networking has offended anyone or were ill-taken .
I’m genuinely trying to network. Many of us here have this insane unanswered calling to this world. We AAAACHE to find a sense of normalcy. I feel awkward, and admittedly a little ashamed at my crazed obsession with ABF/ANR to begin with. The taboo isn’t exactly something you can just discuss with anyone with open arms. My lack of success finding a suitable partner(s) over a damn near 39 year span adds to the angst, the longing, and YES the despair. Last thing that helps any of us is some Asshat floating around our posts critiquing us and being an annoyance. This is hard enough as is.
Is this “Sam” that’s criticizing an admin of some sort I should be aware of? If I’m barking up the wrong tree, PLEASE! tell me. I’ll move along. If I don’t belong here, Please, tell me. I just want to make likeminded friends. Folks that truly understand and relate. I’m just trying to ease my despair. Is my drive for this irrational? Maybe… But its there. So I’m dealing with it best I can.1. Embrace your weirdness.
2. Never apologize for loving the breasts.
3. Nature has summoned you for this purpose.
4. You belong here, as do us all.. you just might need guidance. Time. Patience.
5. Don’t apologize, it scares the boobies away.Lol now, I APPRECIATE that kind of pep talk. Thanks 😂
Don’t despair, Jeff. Meet yourself in that space and be kind to that man. You will attract what you seek.
A few lines for all those feeling the yearning and melancholy…
The heart has no equation
I part the veil of rain
A petrichor sigh
Walking through it
Past it
And it makes space for my form
Conformed to height width shape
Gait movement momentum through this veil I part worlds
Where the caress of wetness
Is the medium for another world
When light yields long to indigo
And dreams linger like expectant ghosts
I find danger here
Of my mind
Of the encasement around my heart
There but not there
An echo in space and rhythm
I have tasted that abyss
And its delicious forgetfulness
Intoxicating
Yielding
Engulfing
Weightless
Soft and warm
Where words and their wielders
Poets and authors alike
Are irresistible
I swoon
And the words catch me
Like nets
Appearing when I leap
Fear and delight and release
In the parting of air
And velvet dark
It is a balance I hang
Suspended matter
Lingering
And deciding to stride
From the world I inhabited
There on webby gloamings
Apart, never afar
But apartThe only admin here is the owner, Michael. There is also a small group of women who are on the forum as the Welcome Team, to help women get acclimated.
Coincidentally, Michael has just posted in General Discussions forum about the future of ABF Heaven.
Anyone else is just a member. Ignore as needed.
This recent topic was started by a woman member who has advice for men making contact with women here:
I agree with all your points except the last one. Apologising does not scare the boobies away. It’s a sign of self awareness, maturity and personal growth. But yes to the weirdness and everything else you said.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had some difficulty meeting someone to share your passion with. It’s not easy finding someone who wants the same thing you do and appreciates it on the same level. When it happens, trust me, it’s AMAZING. I hope you get to experience that some day, but in the meantime, some tips if I may?
Even when it’s getting you down, try to communicate what you have to offer and what you hope to share. Women in the world of adult breastfeeding have a lot of men to choose from, so don’t try to sell yourself because that doesn’t come across as genuine. Instead, take some time to read the profiles of some women you think you might actually make a real connection with. Talk to them about what they’re looking for and be honest with yourself and them as to whether or not you could share something meaningful.
Try not to come across as desperate or needy, but don’t play games and try to be overly cool or nonchalant either, playing hard to get won’t attract the right kind of woman for this. Be yourself and real people who are looking for something real will vibe with you.
I hope that helps. I know it’s tough for guys and it’s understandable that the guys here can be a bit defensive, but trust me, as a real woman who has experienced a real ANR, it’s worth being real if you want to attract something real. All the best.
I would like to add that even though I was jesting in part, the “apologizing” I was referring to should be clarified:
Women are not usually receptive to a man who is uncertain about his thoughts, wishes, and cannot provide a form of security and trust. When we as men, communicate that we meant this, but we only meant it if it is accepted by the woman we are talking to – we appear as wishy washy, weak, and spoiled meat. Unappealing if you will.
That being said, confidence and not being conceited is key.
I appreciate all of y’all’s comments and support. And to clarify I’m not new to this, I’m not new to the search, I’m not new to the experience as a whole. I’ve been in this scene and in the ABF community for the last 30 years. I’m not a youthful kiddo who’s finding my way around.
I am, however, new to this particular site. As we all know each site has their own social norms and expectations overall. My apologies were directed at that. I’d left several messages in the seeking forum with regard to searching for a sort of support group of like minded folks and asked a few locals if they knew of any in our area. This “Sam” Fella belittled me saying I’d annoyed him by doing that even though none were directed at him nor any man, actually. I did, indeed, post in the proper thread. It was HIS choice to seek out my posts on an individual basis- A little creepy. I admittedly got my feathers a bit ruffled. I asked myself “Who is HE to belittle me and/Or why is he any authority on proper how-to’s on my anything”
Anyway. I was triggered a bit. Full admission.
I hope to talk to you all more and hope to learn more about each of you. Thanks again and I appreciate the welcoming gestures.Sounds to me like you’ve been unfortunate with the kinds of women you’ve had dealings with. Any decent woman would respect you more for apologising for your mistakes, not less. Do you have issues with self esteem? Not wanting to be rude, I’m just very empathic so I can generally spot the root of a problem straightaway. Sometimes people choose partners with unpleasant traits if they don’t believe they can can do any better or if they don’t believe they deserve to be treated well and I’m getting that vibe here. I hope that doesn’t cause offence, I’m trying to help.
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