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I wonder often if I do the right things, as I sit with my tea in hand. The smell of the tea leaf, bergamot, lavender, all combining to search for my peace, when I find it missing from my day-to-day tedium. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, exhale and take a scalding sip. Perfect. A single, perfect moment is that cup of tea. I am not lonely, I am not treading my murky waters of stress, attempting to complete everything in a timely manner, nor am I hoping against all hope for my forever partner.
My breasts ache at my thoughts always, for I am not shallow at all in my imagination. No, I am quite adept at diving deep into my creativity to clearly see what it is I desire, that fuels the embers within me, makes my heart pound and makes me…want.
Sigh…
Another scalding sip as I watch the wisps of steam rise over the rim.
Why do I keep waiting, hoping and feeding into my failure to secure my own person? Why do I weed through so many possibilities only to say no, no, bloody no, again? What is it I need, seek, and will accept nothing less for it?
I think it is the feeling of roots, stability, a home that goes beyond brick and mortar. A true home, where the heart is. Money cannot buy it, but where love is located, it is amazing how much money loves that relationship. I cannot force it either; love comes willingly to those who are patient. Ah…
That is my challenge. Where is my patience?
Another sip, this time not so hot as before. I feel it slide past my lips, over my tongue and down my throat. Mmm…Where his mouth would start…hot does not even begin to describe the steam that would follow…
You’ll never know if it’s meant to be or not unless you try. I understand those yearnings because I have those same ones. Well written piece
Nici, I’m sorry you are dealing with the feeling of longing. Yes, it can be rough for sure. This was very well written, and I only hope the right person sees this glimpse into your personality and is inspired to connect with you! Please do not stop writing!
So articulate, self aware and raw. Thank you for putting thoughts and feelings down in words better than I ever could have articulated.
You’re not alone
You deserve to find yours as we all seek our own
Sometimes one has to walk an entire field to find that four leafed clover.
You last paragraph was steamy indeed.😏🤗I love a good think and a cup of tea maybe a chocolate cookie or pie and a game of cribbage to remind me of times with my grandparents and what’s important to me it’s why I am always working one me at my job on my business I’m not looking looking cause I can’t seem to find my one I have found the wrong ones and ones I shouldn’t be near but now I’m more of a let them find me it’s funny cause lot may are looking but I also choose who I’d have near me
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