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Had an interesting exchange @dairydaisy the other day that got me thinking.
There seems to be an assumption that a lot of women on this site are put off by “mummy/baby roleplay” dynamics. True or not, there’s no clear way to distinguish between “roleplayers” and “non-roleplayers” on profiles.
Right now, the only related option is the “Looking for” prompt, and that just limits you to selecting “Male” or “Female.” It doesn’t really clarify preferences or boundaries when it comes to roleplay vs. non-roleplay interactions. As it stands, people can only use their “about me” section, and others have to infer from that, which leaves room for confusion. Also, a lot of profiles are unclear because the person writing could just be unaware of this confusion.
It would be useful to have a simple option on profiles to indicate this, like a tag or toggle for “Roleplayer” or “Non-roleplayer,” maybe under the “Looking for” section. It could reduce confusion, avoid misunderstandings, and help people connect with others who want the same thing.
For clarity, I fall into the “non-roleplayer” group. I have a hunch some people assume otherwise when they read my personal profile or long-form posts, I’d rather it be clear I’m not, since I’m not getting any responses coming off as a “roleplayer.” In which I reiterate, I am not a “roleplayer.”
As the title says, Roleplayer or Non-Roleplayer? Profiles Should Say It. Stop Guessing! 🙂
Also curious where others stand. Are you a “roleplayer” or “non-roleplayer?”
It’s not as simple as you make it sound and that’s understandable if you have not done any research. Not everyone who sees themself as ‘mummy’ ‘daddy’ or ‘baby’ consider it as rollplay. They are obviously adults but encompass certain behaviours into their everyday life so ‘roll play’ would be an insult – as if they don’t really mean it. (Though some just that)
I would also add that not everyone is a ‘roll player’ but would engage in something of that nature within a certain dynamic. It’s all about how 2 people get along and how their relationship develops. You also need to leave room for those who are on the road of discovery – no way they would label themselves that way.
Hope that helps. 🥰Hi and Hello. This is why education is SO important.
Based off this, I can tell you are not educated on the relm of kink or anything of the sort.
How do I say this lighly , so others can understand. Not all kink “players” want to kink play with everyone and anyone.
The dynamic of “baby/mommy”, is derived from love. It is not incest and shouldnt be shamed as such. Though, they are a few out there who dabble in that darkness. The vast majority are not.
In the simplist form. This dynamic is about love, security , and safety. It’s a safe place to be loved, to feel love and to be accepted as is. The mommy, (such as myself) ..choses which one she is going to love thru, cuddling, pulling their person close and letting them know they are loved and safe in their arms. Nursing included. Some add diapers (not my thing) and some need their inner self loved more (my kind of love)
It’s a very special bond, a connection.
Therefore, making it impossible to lump us all into one box that you feel is needed. I don’t want to be a mommy to everyone. Or just anyone. I would want to find someone eager to recieve my love, my devotion and my open arms just as much as I do.
Finding that kind of deep love is almost impossible here. I’ve only found it once. And sadly with the vast majority of most men here, they are very superficial, with no depth at all Lol
@milknhoney Thanks for your perspective. I do see what you mean about it being more nuanced than just labeling everything as roleplay.
I think part of why I brought all of this up in the first place was the exchange between @milky52 and @dairydaisy. When Milly said, “Could maybe we have age limits? I got sick of the ‘age is just a number’ quoted,” that made sense to me in terms of wanting clearer boundaries. I just wasn’t sure about the jump to “It will stop the mummy/baby roleplayers” (as Rumina put it), because those dynamics aren’t all the same thing. Some people might be put off by it, others aren’t, and for some it’s just part of how they relate. So it feels more like individual preference than something that can be broadly generalized.
So yes! I agree with what you said about it being more nuanced. It really does depend on the people and the dynamic.
@btrfly Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I thought of it that way but not as clear as you put it! I lean more toward the “inner self” kind of connection and emotional care dynamic, not the diaper-focused side of it. That aspect isn’t really for me, but I fully accept that people have different preferences and ways of expressing things.My main concern is exactly that distinction, (diaper vs. inner self love) being unclear from the outside. If someone reads my posts or profile without context, they might assume I’m signaling something I’m not actually looking for. That’s where I think clearer indicators or expectations could help, so people aren’t filling in the gaps incorrectly in either direction (roleplay-diapers vs. non-roleplay-love).
So it’s less about judging the dynamics themselves, and more about making sure the intent behind them doesn’t get misunderstood. I do agree it is very difficult to find that “deep love” no matter how much someone can put themselves out there…! Hope that makes sense.
I’ve been eager to meet anyone interested in BF for months now to help someone or be helped by someone… in the “love” aspect that you mention… and I feel little things like this makes the communication if anything a little clearer for everyone…
I find it fascinating you want others to label themselves for you but you don’t even mention it as a dealbreaker in your own profile.
Or hey maybe just have a conversation with someone and figure out what they’re into and whether you mesh.
This isn’t a drive-through. We’re not on a menu. If you’re having bad interactions figure out what you can do to solve that, not what you want to force others to do to make it better for you.
Well thank you for mentioning me as an inspiration for this post. I have to add that an important part of my input hasn’ t been mentioned.
I am older. My age ( turning 60 in june ouch!!) Is often mentioned as a reason by much younger men who contact me, assuming i want to be a mummy. And they often mean role play and ask me if its allright to call me mummy.
I immediately stop contact, because although nurturing is a big part of nursing, its not a one way street. When I get the feelibg my needs are being ignored and they are checking boxes and see if i could be a fit its an immediate no.
The simplest way to find out what interests another person (be it roleplay, or their favorite music or movie or ice cream, or anything else about them) is to start a basic dialog. Get to know the PERSON first, and if a deeper connection develops, THEN you can advance to more personal topics. Seems to me that if your first message to someone is “do you like mommy roleplay?”, you’re indicating a lack of interest in any kind of connection with that person, and only care about satisfying your own fantasies and desires. A nursing relationship (for most women, i suspect) is about a RELATIONSHIP. Not about satisfying some random stranger’s kinks.
@psginner Thank you for your message. This is exactly the honest input I am looking for. You are right I didn’t mention this as a dealbreaker. It might be fascinating to you but I just thought of all this recently. As such, I have updated my profile to be more clear about myself, especially the dealbreaker part that you mention. I appreciate you calling me out so that I can be more clear on my profile.
My concern is mainly about clarity through detailed profiles and I am not immune to writing a poor one. Also, to me, it is not about forcing others to make it better for me, but more about making it better for others as they read my profile.
I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, and so I write as much as I possibly could to cover everything in my posts and profile. I can only check so many boxes when other people read what I write. So, I have taken your message very seriously, which has helped me improve my profile. I appreciate your motivation. I have higher hopes of being seen now! 🙂
@dairydaisy Thank you for sharing your perspective, I really appreciate the insight. It’s a good reminder that details on someone’s profile shouldn’t be treated like a checklist or used to make assumptions. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that, especially when it overlooks who you are as a person.
To me, it’s much more about someone’s energy and how they make you feel than anything else. You’ve been wonderful and supportive to me, and I truly appreciate you always taking the time. I’m continuing to grow and improve, and your encouragement means a lot… Oh, and I can’t wait for your big 60! <3
Of course, I completely agree. A first message, and the conversation that follows, should be a mutual exchange where two people are getting to understand each other, not checking boxes. That’s a completely different situation and I understand that fully.
My point was more about clarity when it comes to profiles. I’m not immune to having written a poor one myself, and I see it less as expecting others to adjust for me, and more about improving how I present myself for others who come across my profile.
As I mentioned to @psginner, I’ve taken that feedback seriously and have been working on making my profile clearer so it reflects me better. I’m not trying to force anything on anyone, just doing my part to be more transparent and thoughtful and hopefully provide insight for others who may not be having luck too.
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