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Hey folks,
This is a question primarily for the ladies, but not closed to the men. When you received a private message from someone you are not interested in, do you just ignore it, or do you reply and make it clear you are not interested?
As a guy on here I tend the the one who reaches out first. Only very rarely do I get any reply at all! I have no expectation that everyone I reach out to will be dying to have my lips on her breasts, but I do appreciate a simple “sorry, not interested.”
To the many wonderful ladies out there: Is that an unreasonable expectation?
Seems like a reasonable request.
Further, how many ladies have sent such a response only to have a jackass ignore it and keep on messaging them?
I try my hardest to respond to every message I receive. I try not to deem my interest until after we have chatted for a little bit unless the initial message is something incredibly lewd like “you make my dick so hard” of which there are a few! But simple hellos, how are you even compliments warrant at least a reply from me. If we’ve chatted for awhile and I’m just not feeling the conversation I will usually just stop replying because in the past when I’ve told a guy a wasn’t interested, especially if we’ve chatted for a couple of days, they become very upset and start either harassing me or threaten to report me to Michael for “wasting their time” instant block at this point! Fortunately this does not happen to often, but it has happened on more than one occasion.
I’ve done both. In several instances Ive responded, “thank u but I’m only looking for someone local, or thank you but u r too young for me”. As I read in an earlier post, sometimes they come back saying I never gave them a chance, etc. If their first note is inappropriate I definitely don’t respond back, and there are definitely a few of those. And then sometimes I just don’t respond as it is obvious they didn’t read my profile first. So, long answer is it just depends I guess. Never intending to be rude by not responding.
Thanks for the replies! Sounds like what I would expect from generally polite and respectful people. My gripe is when I make a genuine effort to initiate conversation, always showing respect to the recipient, and get crickets. I would rather have a blunt “no” than nothing at all. At least then I can say thanks for the reply and move on! *sigh*
Maybe this is the effect of too much social media? We no longer see people online as people, but as usernames? I don’t know. I’ll get off my soapbox now. 😤
I agree ABF J. A simple reply would be nice. Like any other segment of society there a good and decent people who try their hardest to be polite and others who can’t be bothered to make the effort. You just try to ignore the bad ones and help the good ones stay good by treating them well. Perhaps if more people actually “read” profiles…………
While it would be nice if everyone could be polite, a woman simply responding with a kind decline often seems to initiate further conversation is what I found. And being expected to articulate WHY she isn’t interested.
This is so true, Lady O. In my short few days here I signed off a private message in what I thought was a gracious way, only to be told that a more appropriate response was xyz. My hackles did rise at that and I’ve turned my messages off so I can have some peace here.
A thoughtful, descriptive profile that includes character and life interest outside of ANR will prompt me to conversate.I feel that a small minority of guys spoil it for the rest of us. I have noticed the site change quute a lot in the 4 months I have been here
I prefer to see someone’s face clearly instead of some weird cartoon. The cartoon icons on profiles turn me off 🤷♀️
I feel like I’ve laid out what I am and am not looking for in my profile. If I get a message asking something that’s already addressed, I’ll ignore. I prefer well thought out messages rather than lewd or one liners like hi how are you.
And that, to me, makes perfect sense. I do not send messages like that, nor do I send them to anyone when their requirements are obviously not in line with mine or what I can offer. Therein lies the frustration. When I put forth a decent amount of effort to compose a thoughtful, meaningful first contact, I don’t think it is too much to ask for a simple “No, thank you.”
Obviously there is nothing I can do about it. I just wanted to see if my position made sense to others. I think the consensus is that it *should* be the norm, but as some guys don’t get the hint when their advances are declined, many ladies have taken to ignoring, rather than responding. Alas.
I used to reply but got fed up with men ignoring my wishes and continuing to text telling me why I’m wrong and why I should give them a chance…blah blah blah. Now I totally ignore. It’s on my profile not to message me, if men cant read my profile and honour my wishes why would I spend a second of time replying to them.
I was bombarded by SO MANY messages that I deleted my account and created one as a guy so that I can enjoy the content without being harassed. It was difficult to respond to everyone and some of the men were just plain annoying. If I took my time responding, I would get about ten “hello, When can you talk, hi, where did you go, I’m interested, nice boobs, etc.” Having a picture of your face instead of a cartoon icon helps as does a thoughtful message.
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