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I was going to answer Cowboy’s entry with this and then decided it was different enough to merit its own discussion. Thank you, Cowboy for addressing the disrespectful communication toward women. The men who don’t know how to talk to women are easy to spot and avoid.
There is a more insidious problem with some of the men on the site (a lot, actually). There is a large percentage of men on the site who are smooth talking, charming and charismatic. But they are great deceivers. They are hiding the fact that they are married or in some sort of committed relationship. Some are married and take great lengths to hide the fact. One I’ve encountered, claimed he was a widower when, in fact, his wife was still alive and living with him. Another was married, still in the same house as his wife, but “working on the divorce”. They couldn’t move out because that would compromise them financially in the settlement. There was not a time frame as to how the “divorce” would progress. One charming man so impressed me that I agreed to meet. It was then at the meeting, after a great deal of time and traveled distance, that he told me he was married. There were others, but you get the idea.It has turned me into an interrogator and an investigator for self-preservation.
Ladies, these are a few of the red flags:
*If he only communicates during his work day or very late at night, he is most probably married and saving the evening for his wife. The late night communications are done after their spouse has gone to bed.
*If he disappears over the weekend…he will always have good reasons, but he is keeping his real life separate from his affair.
*If he only communicates through text/messages. He can’t talk in front of his spouse, but can get away with typed communications.
*If he only calls you when he is in his vehicle.
*If he calls from a hidden or restricted phone/number*On a similar note, there have been a lot of men who have lied about their age and posted photos from a younger age. For various reasons, this information can also be very important to a woman.
Ladies, there are websites that help with the truth finding. My Life has a free version which is accurate with some basic things like age and political stance. But this sight is extremely inaccurate when it comes to marital status.
There are sites that you can pay for, but they often don’t cover the marital status.
It helps if you have a phone number, but it is a lot of work to research and infer what the truth is surrounding marital status.
Players Need Not Apply….Many of the women on this web site are looking for a full time, real relationship. Most are not going to be happy being your mistress, be it real or virtual.
Thank you for that post and all the red flags, I have tried to believe the whole I work so much and even the weekends, can happen but as you said is likely not so.
I am a bad texter, likely she is watching.
Then you have the kind of person that pretends that they want something like what you want just to find one lame excuse that is just a cope out for them turning you into a masturbatory aid to appease their fetishes when they pretended they wanted an ANR or something more permanent. It is very cruel to do that to someone who has had the patience to wait and to give some credit and look around the cast of red flags.While I don’t disagree with what you have said, it should be acknowledged that there are some ladies on this site guilty of some of the above to. It’s very disheartening I’m in complete agreement.
Declan you raise a good point. Probably all of the above red flags can be applied to women. I apologize for my myopic view. I’m sure you are correct. I can only speak from my experience.
VPN’s are also ways people use to hide in plain site to be dishonest! Lotus , I appreciate the discussion. It’s sad that some of us are looking for a genuine relationship/ connection and these people are making it so very difficult! Thank you again
Then there are people who are 100% honest and even states they are married in their profile. Yes, it prevents a lot of contacts, but what contacts do come, they are aware what they are getting into.
Thank you, Jennings, for your honesty.
Thank you Lotus.
No wonder it takes a village to find a partner nowadays.
@mandragora11
Those are the most common boys I come into contact with on this site, the married and the cheaters follow second. I find them really pathetic. I can’t really call them men, regardless of age, because a man doesn’t need to lie and manipulate just to have an freaking orgasm. To lie to someone and manipulate them, just to get off sexually? Come on, go to escort or use porn, it’s not like it’s hard to access.
I, just like Lotus and others, have to be untrusting and suspicious interrogators at all times, when messaged.
You know whom you are 🙂 what goes around, comes around.
This doesn’t apply to men who are honest from the get go.
“Then you have the kind of person that pretends that they want something like what you want just to find one lame excuse that is just a cope out for them turning you into a masturbatory aid to appease their fetishes when they pretended they wanted an ANR or something more permanent”
Water lilly, I think the point for some is to get a woman who does not want to be a prostitute or an escort to become one, to break one, so they can say… oh look what power I have over them.
I would like to think that what goes around comes around but so many people get away with manipulation because they will just change their profile, block someone and do it all over again.@mandragora11
What you say maybe true, but certainly no one has broken me or you. As we are strong, beautiful, able to be vulnerable, still full of love and passion. We just know how to spot the real ones better now 🙂 we have faith and hope ❤️
I think there is a certain amount of self-deception, justification and misplaced self-entitlement with the cheaters….and in some cases, addiction. A few seem to feel self-loathing. I get a sense of desperation in some of them, like that is somehow the best solution to their problems. I’m not excusing their actions, but I have tried to understand them. I think most people don’t operate out of malice. But do put their “needs” above those of others. I think that it is a slippery slope. And I don’t want to be on it with them.
I think it’s good that we share with each other about the specific men who are trying to play us. I have no problem telling-warning other women about men on here when they behave badly. Also letting Michael know about men who are purposely deceiving us, usually they are removed promptly.
Thank you!! Great points!!
I like the latest one, I’m too busy to commit and understand the commitment etc for an anr, then 2 msgs later, can we exchange numbers!! HahahahaI get there are both men and women in online fantasy world, but come on, keep your story’s straight!!
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