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I am no longer in a committed ANR relationship. I fucked up my chance. I thought I could make up for it and we were going to be able to work it out, but I was wrong.
I made too many mistakes and stupid choices when she came out to visit. I did not make her feel as I had promised I would. To be honest, I have no idea why I made those mistakes, as they were stupid and avoidable.
Evidently, I am not yet ready for an ANR relationship.
And this hurts me even more because I had fallen in love with her VERY quickly.
I am not worthy of an ANR relationship at this time, if ever.
Corey, I’ve fucked up more times than I can count on both hands. Take a breathe, relax and know that you’re human.
Corey, I’ve read your posts in the past about your relationship – You’re a great guy. Everyone fucks up everyday in all types of relationships. Some clichéd stuff here, but there’s always going to be disparity between expectations and reality…it’s no one’s fault and you couldn’t have known. Don’t beat yourself up about it man – You’re gonna get past this..!
Corey,
I feel for you. Don’t be down on yourself. Just look at the whole picture and take the lessons it provides. Was there perhaps things she could have done differently as well? We are all imperfect. Some people are happy without growth. Learn from the experience and move on. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be.
Maybe there is something better in your future. Best wishes.Hi Corey,
Firstly, I am sorry to hear it didn’t work out.
Secondly, it takes two to tango and maybe it just was not the right connection.
We all mess up. Don’t put yourself down for it. We all seek happiness of some kind and that’s just being human.
Take a breath, take some time to heal and reflect. From the short time I have been here, I notice you have a lot of support and encouragement. Sending 🤗
Dear Corey,
I don’t have any sage advice, I have a lot of empathy. When you joined here, you chatted and spent time with all of us. I thoroughly enjoyed your honesty, energy and enthusiasm. I think that these qualities are a core part of yourself, so is your quest. I am sure that all will be well for you. I guess you may think it is easy to say all this when is not happening to oneself, but one thing that has helped me whenever I feel low, is to realize that the search for happiness is a worthwhile quest. You will certainly find it one way or another. Just give it time and if possible don’t base your happiness on outcomes, for example, if certain events happen or if certain people come into your life etc. Just believe that you are worthy, stay open and the right energy will find its way into your heart and life. I send lots of ☀️ wishes to you. Stay well.
Best of luck,
SinLove is very fickle. So are emotions. I don’t know what mistakes you made,but. There are 2 ppl involved. Did she speak up immediately, when it was happening? Or did you or her become silent!?. Communication is huge!!! All I can say is breath. Nothing is forever.
Alot of ppl go into this thinking. It’s just a boob, you suck on it, and go home! that is so not the case.
And that’s the problem.
Anr is very mental. It’s also emotional and lastly it’s physical.
You both have to be in the same mind set to even agree to get to the point of meeting. . Once you meet, and you feel comfortable. You have nerves and emotions next to overcome. Those must be met first! To move forward.
And then the physical.. either you are attracted to them or not.
Once the breast is exposed.. the interaction is very sensitive to nature of the moment. Reading the vibes, body language and communicating constantly.
At this moment: A million thoughts are racing thru each others mind and neither are the same or in sync. Lol I know mine..are screaming,” get off my hair” to a new person..if I forget to tie it up..(small humor for a serious post) but I know I am not the only one to think that!! True story!
Trigger warning.
But this is where I think most men f. Up.Because, for me if i am with someone new. IF my person is nursing and a penis becomes exposed. I panic. Especially if it wasn’t agreed upon or consented too.. for me personally, if I see a penis, I am immediately extracted out of MY comfort/safe place and I become paralyzed with fear. The worst kind of fears creep in my mind..I fear that the guy i am with is going to over power me and rape me.. because HE lost control.
I am not saying or claiming this happened. I don’t know what happened.
What I am saying …is there is a dark side to anr. That ppl do not discuss. Nor truely think about.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I certainly empathize. This may sound trite but everything is a learning exerperince. Best wishes
Agree with all the above!
you just need to focus on being you! stay happy and positiveI’m sure it will work soon x
Perhaps you can make yourself a list of what you think you did wrong. Whether it be words, actions, or whatever.
Take a period of self reflection. Figure out what you can do better.
Maybe next time go meet her. She would probably be more comfy that way. Assume a period of nervousness. Allow for that by doing something not anr related.
Just my $.02. I hope the next time goes better for you.Sending hugs. I empathize greatly.
@sind
I really like this 💝
“realize that the search for happiness is a worthwhile quest. You will certainly find it one way or another. Just give it time and if possible don’t base your happiness on outcomes”I really appreciate what you shared. I hope a lot of men read this part again.
“Because, for me if i am with someone new. IF my person is nursing and a penis becomes exposed. I panic. Especially if it wasn’t agreed upon or consented too.. for me personally, if I see a penis, I am immediately extracted out of MY comfort/safe place and I become paralyzed with fear. The worst kind of fears creep in my mind..I fear that the guy i am with is going to over power me and rape me.. because HE lost control.”
Corey, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to hijack your post. There were so many great responses that made me think 🤗
Get over it and move on
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