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How many times do you read a persons profile before messaging them? And do you skim it, or read it?
I have a specific no non locals and no messages without what you look like….. I think that is pretty clear and simple. And yet….. I always get the opposite of that flooding my inbox and it drives me batty. I don’t have a clue to how to stop this. I don’t want to let people down but I also don’t want to see messages from them flooding the gates if they aren’t gonna meet my requests.
HELP! What am I doing wrong? What do you do?
You’re not doing anything wrong, people see what they want to see. All you can do is respond to that in a way that’s authentic to you.
I just had a quick look at your profile and it is quite clear. If anything, maybe write it in capital letters right at the top of your post, not that you should have to 😂
It is your choice to respond, simply delete or block if you are getting messages that do not correspond to your interests. You don’t owe anyone anything….like Rachy said above, be authentic to yourself!
Maybe this can help:
Dear Beautiful Grandtetons,
I usually read profiles four or five times and sometimes some details even more to make them clear.
You wrote in your profile:
“I love the connection/bond and intimacy (1). To be able to nurture someone in that way is so amazing. I’m looking for someone that is local (2), vaccinated, and shows a picture of themselves clearly no sunglasses, otherwise I will not respond to a message.”
Please don’t get me wrong but I would like to believe that “loving the connection/bond and intimacy (1)” as it is written in your first sentence is more important than, for instance, “looking for someone that is local (2)”.
In my reading, this interpretation gives better picture of you compared to the case that “being local (2)” is more important than “the connection/bond and intimacy (1)”.
BUT, in your post of “How many times?” it seems to me that you put the stress e.g on being local.
On the other hand, the number of men on here far outnumbers that of women. In general, this is the reason why women get a lot of messages.
Please, try to imagine the opposite. Men would be in a position to get a lot of messages. That would be a Heaven for men, and I personally wouldn’t complain in this case.
Anyway, I understand your standpoint.
To be honest, you have a lot of weapons in your hand. For example, you are not forced to answer, you can make your profile clearer on preferences and you can even block.
Finally, I have to say that I don’t want to hurt you and any woman anyway. If I should have done this, please accept my sincere apologies.Warm regards,
JozsefIf I like her picture and it’s in the US I usually read it once, otherwise I shoot my shot , and grab the rebound.
Watch you don’t shoot yourself in the foot there, Tex. Women talk.
I “grab the rebound” in that syntax means I keep my head in the game and dont let it get me down, I keep playing. Not as a metaphor for a woman being the rebound otherwise known as the plan B or second choice.
So good luck on your search.
Yeah, that’s what I thought you meant. Referring to it as a game might not do you any favours though.
I think I need all the look I can get to be honest 😂 I wish you all the best as well 😊
Many profiles on here (both male and female) have very little or no information at all, so sometimes there’s no reason to read it twice. If someone takes time to write meaningful information in their profile, I will read it several times before deciding to send a message. If I do send a message, I try to explain what it was about that profile (and the information in it) that prompted me to introduce myself.
Having said that, your profile clearly states that you are looking for someone local. If anyone messages you from afar, it means they haven’t read your profile… or just feel entitled to ignore your statement. Either way, they’re showing you all you need to know about their character and who they really are by messaging you, and they deserve to be blocked or simply ignored. You owe them no further explanation whatsoever.
I’m sorry this has taken happening.I have read your profile and understood your wishes which is why I have not reached out to you.
I hope this improves for you soon.Lol, too funny actually. I filter my messages as well. But when I do get a friend request the first thing I look at in the messengers profile is their location. If they’re not within 15 min of me I generally don’t respond. A response is pointless unless you want an unending message conversation with someone who can’t read.
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