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I fully understand what Welshie is talking about. Then again I’m with the fellas that have responded, although I’m not so sure about Babitoni. The few pic hunters on here don’t make things easy for those of us who are genuinely looking for something real.
I can’t tell you the amount of grilling I’ve received from ladies who have previously dealt with guys who lack class and etiquette; just because this is online doesn’t mean you can remove all filters and say whatever you want. You still have to have a level of decorum when dealing with other people on the internet, especially if you’re trying to get something out of that person be that pics or just chatting. From experience I know there are women love to chat endlessly and send pics, but you’re not going to get a single pixel out of her if your opening message is related to her cup size.
I say all that to say, because of these type of guys that chatted with the ladies before me, it makes it really difficult for the women not to be prejudice or at least have some kind of preconceived notion about what my intentions are when I message her. The frustrating thing is though, I’ll go through all the hoops and prove myself to be genuinely interested only to get ghosted anyway.
The pursuit of this lifestyle will definitely test your metal and desire for it. I should know I’ve been at this for going on a decade!! I’ve been a member on so many different sites over the years, hundreds of forums, Yahoo! groups, the lot. I was also one of the original members of this site when it started, got nuked and was then resurrected by Mike a couple years ago. I’ve seen the same pattern repeat itself and I don’t see it abating any time soon.
At this point it’s only my deep rooted desire (and the daily puzzles lol) that’s kept me here. I’ll see a new avatar and check out the profile, and honestly even if the woman is within a 30 mile radius of me I definitely think twice about sending a message nowadays. The headache just seems too much to deal with. I still do try and send messages but the lack of responses is slowly weighing on me.
Apologies for the wall of text and turning this thread into my own personal therapy session. It was a bit cathartic actually but my rant is over lol
P.S. @welshie I was this close to moving to Cardiff with work prior to bear bug! Who knows what might have been!
T, I understand how frustrating it must be for genuine guys on here if they don’t receive responses. If I’m honest, I may have missed someone genuine along the way whilst wading through the rubbish.
I guess it’s easy to get a bit delete happy when I see yet another response from someone who’s profile doesn’t match what I’m looking for. The question is, how are we supposed to tell when it just looks like another person who hasn’t read our profile?
@bedstyboi No worries about the personal therapy session, that’s pretty much why I wrote my original post 😂
You’re right about previous experiences clouding my judgement – I can’t speak for other women on that- but it’s hard not to let experiences affect you. Things like discovering the guy you met online and were seeing for a few months for ANR is actually engaged to someone else.
Then there’s the experience of talking to a younger guy for weeks and making arrangements to travel to meet him only to be told in the day or two before I was due to leave that the age gap and distance were too much.
It does make you very wary of people, but it’s that deep desire for a real relationship with ANR at its heart that makes me want to keep trying.
Welshie – I read all profiles before I message – Some I just say Hi & like your profile & openly state I don’t expect a reply because of wrong sex / age / distance / Etc. If you & others just go through & delete messages it doesn’t give those of us genuine men a Chance – Things are stacked against us men in the 1st place.
Those I have messaged & the few that had replied have been varied – a couple are long distance & keep in contact- & a few others seem interested & then Like your man Disappeared no replies no thanks but no thanks nothing. I don’t like it & think it’s also wrong – Though I accept it’s the internet & they’re spoilt for choice so an older man soon gets booted out. See it’s Not just you Girls that have a Rough Time. I only wish I had loads of messages I could just delete without looking through.
There are just as many Game playing women as men on here. We either accept that’s part of the big picture or Leave. And yes I read your profile
& lovely it is 😀.@loughboroughman
You make some good points there!! I’m really glad I posted this because it’s giving a different perspective on some things.
Thanks for joining in the discussion!!
Welshie – your most welcome & Glad I could offer some different perspectives for you.
The Twat heads are bad & a nuisance no doubt – Though at least you have messages & interest , some of which will be Friendly & positive.
Beats having No Interest & Messages- Would you stay then ?? I wonder often why I do. 🤷🏻♂️I too am searching for a unicorn. I block and delete. Some send kind messages and seem nice and well mannered…some others are aggressive. If they aren’t what I am looking for, cannot take the non response as a hint (sometimes I just tell), and continue to message, I just block them. It’s not worth getting upset about. Don’t let them get in the way of you and your unicorn 🦄 x
@welshie, the ones who send messages without reading profiles by and large cannot be bothered to read this forum, unfortunately, so they are not getting the needed reminder.
You and @sweetheart88 both have wonderful profiles and I hope you meet the perfect person!
I read moocakes post and decided to delete my profile photo showing my breasts. That solved the problem instantly. In future I’ll keep my photos hidden for friends only.
Noswaith dda Welshie, I think I could be your unicorn, tidy eh? ☺️
Seriously though, I’m genuine and for real, looking for a loving ANR ABF relationship x
Totally disagree with you. Even think its dangerous what you are saying. You are putting the blame for undercover messages on the women, even saying they shouldnt be on this site if they do not want invitations for random hookups when its clear they are looking for a long term relation and put that in their profile. Its not too much to ask to read it and to take it seriously.
You also say guys cant help it, they are wired like this ( visual). Oh, but they can help it, those guys are just too lazy to grow up. This kind of behaviour made me decide not to show anything and still i get invitations for random hookups. So what you say is not True. It really saddens me that men are here only for viewing pics and not for actual abf/anr.My be new members need a reading test?
I get friend requests from people who clearly have not read my profile !
I Don’t understand it!
I used to reply back saying thanks but no thanks the abuses became more than a hassle – so I just ignore now 🙁
I’ve seen some profiles online in which someone will state at the end of the profile “Please put SASQUATCH (or some other word) in all caps in the subject line if you message so that I know you read all of my my profile or I will not respond and will delete your message.
So any messages they get that don’t say SASQUATCH in all caps or whatever special word they choose, they simply delete
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