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I have a steady job, which is varied yet predictable. There are quiet times and busy times, I have a lot of friends there, and 9 times out of 10 I enjoy it. But some things are constantly going wrong, some people won’t do their part right, and my efforts often seem to be unappreciated or in vain. I don’t want to quit because I’d be out of a job, endless complaints get me nowhere, and I’m left wondering what should I do?
I have at least one close friend who is both funny and maddening at times, I have hobbies that give me some release from the pressures of work, and playing/cuddling with my pet cat is also known to be therapeutic. But sometimes none of it seems to be enough. I don’t have a wife or children, I don’t drink or do drugs, and I don’t trawl through porn sites or strip clubs to see naked ladies. The only thing I want -something I know can cure my stress and anxiety – is suckling.
I once had a short-lived but wonderful dry nursing relationship with someone, who adored it even more than I did. In her arms, suckling the hours away, sometimes falling asleep while still latched on, or even just cuddling my head tight to her breasts, all my worries and fatigue could melt away, and nothing else mattered beyond that moment. Since our connection came to an end, I feel it’s the missing element in my life, something I need to restore my mindset and maintain peace in this hectic world.
Why am I so longing for one part of a woman’s physique? Why do I need a cure for the daily struggles that many of us put up with? Am I weak for letting stress build up inside me? Am I strange for seeking a natural yet very intimate way to find escape/release? Am I even mad for wanting just to suckle a woman’s breasts and nothing more? Or am I just a normal person, feeling overwhelmed and desperate for peace?
Honest opinions, please. Ladies or gents, good or bad, I don’t care. I just need advice on how I should feel.
Your description of your work and personal life certainly sounds normal enough. I would assume that most of us experience something pretty similar. The only thing that is more unique among the general population is your preferred method of stress reduction, but at least you’re among kindred spirits here in this group.
I ask myself this all the time and I don’t have any good answers, I’m afraid. And sometimes I think it matters, other times I think it doesn’t. The hardest part for many of us going without is how to manage despite the constant cravings.
I think you are a hell of a lucky guy who knows how an anr feels.
Your feelings are yours, there is no good or bad. Don’t let anybody else tell you how you should feel. Only you know.And also: whats normal? Who gets to decide? Isnt it fun to have some prdtty mad people around? Should being normal be our goal? Boooorrriiiing!!
Everyone deals with stress in their own way. I choose a method which has proved to work for me. It’s true, Jim, I am among like-minded persons, which I cannot emphasise how much I appreciate. At least I can be open about my desires and needs, without the fear of being misjudged.
Rumina, thank you for your thoughts. I agree that everyone is unique, so there’s an infinite variety that goes against the definitive term of ‘normal’. And my feelings, as you say, are my own and not anyone else’s, so only I can decide what is right or wrong for me.
When you were in that relationship ,did you feel content even when not with her?
@Milk&Honey During our short-term relationship, I felt most content when we were together. But even when I wasn’t, there was still some sense of calm and relief, knowing that we would soon suckle again. That was comforting enough to see me through whatever stresses or fatigue built up inside me, until I could latch on and let all my troubles fade away.
The moment itself was magical, but just the certainly of enjoying it again could also be comforting. Hence why I long to embrace it with a new partner.
So that’s the difference between dopamine (temporary lift that soon subsides) and oxytocin the bonding hormone. Dopamine can become addictive as the levels quickly drop after the event but oxytocin comes with consistency, trust and a sprinkling of effort that most don’t fully understand or appreciate. If you are without it there are ways to hack your happy hormones in the meantime. Google ‘hack your hormones’ We do need human connection – covid taught us that. Partner dancing is good for mood too. I’m sorry work isn’t a positive place for you at the moment – maybe you’ve just not found your groove yet- the thing that you were made for. Good luck.
@Milk@Honey I appreciate your insight and advice, ma’am. I too often consider my current workplace isn’t my true groove, but at least it keeps me off the unemployed list until I can find my own fit. And, to be honest, it’s the human connection that I ultimately cherish from a true ANR. Not only does it offer me relief from stress or anxiety, but more importantly, it nurtures a deep unbreakable bond between partners. Both I and my previous partner felt it during our relationship. We each understood and appreciated the mutual efforts involved to make it work, and we grew closer and more trusting over time – the gift of oxytocin. If I were ever to consider tying the knot with someone as a family, it wouldn’t feel complete without ABF to truly seal the bond. That’s how I see it – I hope others may too.
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