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In August of 2020 our state allowed take out food or eating outside as an option. Some friends and I went to a local establishment. It was late evening so to avoid sitting in the sun we picked a spot that was shaded from the building. It also happened to be the longest distance for the waitress/servers to travel. Our waitress that came to us was obviously extremely pregnant. My friends wife apologized for making her come such a distance to wait on us. The waitress replied she was happy for the extra exercise as she was going to be induced in a few days if she went past her due date, and she preferred that not to happen. She visited for a few minutes. When asked regarding children she stated she had a family of 3, however this was going to be her 5th and last child. She explained she had two surrogate pregnancies. Mentioned it was a way for her to be a stay at home mom and still have some money come in from the future parents. And she felt she was providing a family with their children, when they were not able to have their own. Also stated that usually the child was taken within 24 hours of birth.
I immediately started thinking of the woman’s lucky husband. Consider all the time and effort that is put into an ANR if the woman wishes to lactate. Some are fortunate enough to start or continue their ANR with their spouse after a childbirth. So, in affect this woman would be able to jump start her journey.
This story made me sad except for 1 reason- a family is getting a new baby. Otherwise, I don’t think a mom wants to carry a child for 9 months, know and feel every movement, imagining the development of the child, go through labor and birth, produce milk and then give the baby up.
Seems like only a man would think of the milk as the plus point in this story. It sort of shows the insensitivity. It is also sad that someone has to resort to surrogacy and carrying 2 additional children other than her own to support a family. Did you even think of what all a mom’s body goes through to carry a child and bring it into this world?
I am sorry that I am getting upset with your post but I can’t help it.
I’m personally not into the entire maternal procreation thing. I’m not particularly fond of little germ carriers or crumb snatchers. I know from a population and economy stand point it’s essential or we’d all be extinct, but I’m truly glad there’s other people out there that enjoy the aspect of creating, developing and birthing another life.
Ms Spicy does have a lot of valid points to the work involved in the process and the physical, emotional, and mental aspect of the entire process. I have friends that have volunteered to be surrogates for other family members who couldn’t have their own children. Like Ms Spicy , I find the concept incredibly difficult to wrap my head around other than knowing I was just a receptacle to carry the child and that I had no genetic connection to it.
“I immediately started thinking of the woman’s lucky husband” just about sums up how your mind works really doesn’t it? Disgusting that your mind automatically goes to what you could get out of that situation. Anyone with any emotional intelligence or sensitivity would think what an amazing thing to do, to help a family have a baby, whilst enabling her to spend more time with her own children. What makes you assume that she and her husband are interested in adult breastfeeding? Even if they are, any decent man would prioritise the wellbeing of his wife, ensuring she had recovered physically and emotionally from the delivery of the baby and seeing that their own children are properly cared for, before even thinking about satisfying his own desires. Smh, you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking that, let alone writing a post about it. I hope any woman who goes near you knows what’s she’s letting herself in for.
I immediately started thinking of the woman’s lucky husband.
Oh gosh, me too. All men see it this way, obviously. Men all think the same way, of course. That’s the deep wisdom to hang onto around here: men are all the same, mind, body and soul. That, you can take to the bank, the church and to the set of the “dating game” for a whole lotta laughs.
As a man, I can see him now: belly out on the couch, covered in tortilla chip crumbs, 3 days unshowered in the same clothes he’s slept in for as long, xbox controller in hand, attention taken prisoner through beady shifting eyes into a virtual world of pixels that don’t exist. To make these lucky ends meet, his wife is pregnant with another man’s child, serving the outdoor tables. It’s a hike out there, leaving her pregnant form more svelt than his couch bod. Here’s what he’s doing for her:
He’s got his gaslighting and excuses all prepared and clean before she gets home. He “couldn’t” find work today, and it’s not even worth discussing. She doesn’t even bother asking anymore, it’s not worth the drama. Besdies, he’s really “busy,” with his dog walking duties he intends to, right after he beats this level. Although he hasn’t noticed the dog has already pissed into the carpet again, which he will of course blame the dog for. Lucky dog! Everyone involved in this is so, so very lucky. The dog gets to pee wherever it wants, how lucky is that? My second thought after the lucky husband is how lucky the dog is.
Of course the children all witness this mommy & daddy dynamic as “normal” and “how to act,” thus perpetuating the beahvior for generations to come. And the flatulence! Ah, the flatulence…
Can’t you see him, this “gentleman,” bathed in the golden light of his good fortune? Can’t you see him, representing all men? Boy, I sure can.
Great takes all around.
Dude, are you OK?
I agree with you, but can I just point out that not all men are this selfish and insensitive? Men get a hard time from society because of the few who think and say things like the person who wrote this horrible post. There are many caring and thoughtful men in the world of adult breastfeeding, as well as other walks of life.
The waitress is a wonderful soul doing that, carrying a life and all that goes with it, to help a couple to become a family. Despite she did it to help her own family, the blessing she imparted is immeasurable.
“I immediately started thinking of the woman’s lucky husband.”
To be fair, I think many men with an ABF/ANR interest would have the same thought or something similar. Men are different creatures and reactions are based from their own experiences and mind patterns. It’s an automatic thing, biologically based, as is a woman’s reaction is based on hers. And to be fair, the OP shared his thought which is one consistent to this group and his interest. However, he may or may not have other thoughts that went along with it. He may have thoughts on the miracle of the experience and blessing it was to the other couple as well as the inconviences. Just because someone doesn’t include it, doesn’t make it so.
An interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing. It gave me a chuckle
Kudos to y’all. My single sentence of sarcasm doesn’t begin to compare with what followed. BZ!
Completely agree with @sind and @rachyj. Sad and disgusting.
The poster went on and on about where he was sitting and why, but left it with a one line thought and observation….if he’d had any additional thoughts about it he certainly had time and space to list them. He chose not to consider the woman’s position, if he ever had those thoughts at all. Self absorbed doesn’t make for good abf anr.
I agree with you, @rachyj but can I just point out your sarcasm detector may due for re-alignment? This is, to be fair, double-helix sarcasm, wherein one strand of it exists primarily to entertain the self and, simultaneously, the other acts as catalyst for an alchemical-cultural process; an unveiling, of sorts. I for one am fascinated with this sort of thing, but I am aware that the drawback is a tendancy to throw people’s detectors off. Don’t worry: nothing’s wrong with you, it’s probably just a detector alignment issue.
I’m quite alright, thanks for asking. In fact I’ve never been better! Having a lot of fun and enjoying life here in the wild west.
Ok, well I’m glad to hear you’re alright 😁 yes, I did detect the faintest hint of sarcasm, subtle though it was 😉 I was just a little concerned about the vehemence with which your reply was delivered 😳
Lol yeah, 9 months is hardly a shortcut 🤦🏼♀️🤣
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