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@anroc 🤓
You brought up something I’ve always found infuriating. A woman is assaulted, and suddenly everyone wants to know what she was wearing, what she’d been drinking, and why she was there. Somehow the conversation becomes about her judgment instead of the person who actually harmed her. As though making a questionable decision means forfeiting your right to be safe. What an absurd notion.
And that brings us right back to the witches, doesn’t it? Once you’ve convinced people a woman is immoral or dangerous, it’s amazing what they’ll excuse doing to her.
I really appreciate how much thought you put into this. ❤️ But please don’t apologize for being a man! There are wonderful men and terrible women, too. Nobody gets a free pass or a guilty verdict simply because of their sex.
I’d much rather have men standing alongside women, questioning these attitudes and speaking up when it matters. We need each other in this conversation, and I’m glad you’re part of it. 😘
Women can be naked if they want to. It still doesn’t mean you can assault them. Now if they did this in a mall, they might guy to jail but still, that doesn’t mean you can abuse them.
I do need to sleep. My brain is tired.
Resorting to insults is a controlling, method.
When individuals encounter uncertainty, cognitive dissonance, or a threat to their ego, they often experience a spike in anxiety or helplessness. Resulting in a burst of anger, this shuts down certain areas.
@lolamayi12345 thank you for your response. Big hug for you too!
I’ve read the responses. A lot of support for this post and that makes me happy. It’s also the easy part: acknowledging what already has been stated an go a put our business as usual. Oh boy do we feel good together.
@lolamayi12345 adked us some less comfortable questions though and they do not get answered. Now either we don’t read lengthy posts to the end or we conveniently skip the more awkward part of looking at ourselves. If the second: there is no hope anything will ever change. We can do better! We were all about bonding remember?
@grogman came close: not going along with bullies. Please explain how not to. @milkylunch is smart: let a bully explain himself. Ask a question. Its non confrontational and immediately will make clear if its a bully or not. Turns the focus to the behaviour of the bully. @lolamayi12345 is right: not saying anything comes across as going along.
@showerthoughts takes out the coconuts. At least that will make some noise! Humor is a great way to get your point across.We need more. I will repwat Lola’s questions. Didn’t see enough answers. We can do better! Come on!
Ladies 🩷 What’s a label you’ve struggled to escape? Have you ever caught yourself judging another woman by a standard you wouldn’t want applied to yourself?
Gentlemen 💙 What’s a label you’ve heard used against women that you now recognize as unfair? Have you ever challenged another man for using it?
I’m interested in honest answers, not perfect ones.🫶🏻
Hahahahahahaha the title gave me a good laugh! “Bitch Hunt” sounds like a term I’d like to use for describing a round of some of my spicier bedroom activities… Or more precisely, the process of meeting ladies and getting them on board with my program… I’m stealing that one!
Now, for me personally, all these “moral issues” completely go over my head and don’t register with me at all. Instead, I’ll throw in not just two cents, but my two silver dollars here.
For reference, growing up I spent a bit too much time on the bad parts of the internet, and let’s just say I may have seen way too many things at way too early of an age. All that probably shaped my mind in a way where all those labels assigning morality don’t mean a damn. Especially when I see flagrant counterexamples right in front of me with my own two eyes! It does help that I also grew up in a highly religious and conservative background, which contained a good deal of that too, but in a different form, which is another reason why I don’t take “moral issues” seriously.
That aside, my background makes name calling of that sort meaningless to me. Words, words, words, blah blah blah. At the same time I don’t exactly understand things like “Jealousy” or “Insecurity” either, so unless it’s in jest I don’t feel the need to judge people for their background, which seems to be the reason why name calling gets a bad rap. It would also make me a MASSIVE hypocrite if I did!
What I’ve found VERY FUNNY speaking from personal experience, given everything I describe about my mentality, is that of the women I’ve been with who in public or around others complain about language of that sort, most of them also not-so-secretly really enjoy it when I talk to them very crudely and forcefully using that same language, and worse, to help spice up our bedroom activities! That’s another one of those “Counterexamples” I was referring to earlier which I learned about later in life. And that’s also why this whole thread was mainly comic relief to me, knowing what I know!
@andes72 🤓
I appreciate that you don’t judge women for their sexual histories. I wish that were a more common attitude!
I do think there’s something you’re overlooking, though. Just because certain labels don’t carry much weight for you personally doesn’t mean they haven’t had very real consequences for women. My post was never simply about whether a word hurts someone’s feelings.
And I had to smile at your bedroom observations. 😉 A woman can thoroughly enjoy being called all sorts of scandalous things by someone she’s chosen and still object to those same words being used to shame her. I don’t see any contradiction there. The freedom to decide when, where, and with whom is rather the point!
I suppose what I’d encourage you to consider is that your own experiences, however entertaining they may be, don’t necessarily tell the whole story.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. And while I’m delighted you found some humor in the discussion, I hope there’s a little food for thought in it for you, too. 🫶🏻
Mr Seeker, I think you’ve raised an interesting point about what happens when someone’s ego feels threatened. Sometimes an insult is less about the person receiving it and more about the discomfort of the person delivering it.
I’m curious, though. Have you ever challenged another man when you’ve heard him speak about a woman that way? And if so, how did he react?
I love a little psychology, but I’m even more interested in what people actually do when they’re faced with it. That’s where things get interesting. 😉
Good topic Lola especially because I have never been called some of the unpleasant things at least not to my face like the labels I have heard in this community. Let’s see i have heard tired old lonely desperate angry burnt used mean bitchy saggy ugly and most of all one comment I always hear is that at my age im looking for a STAMINA STALLION that one kills me but bear in mind I have been called these things whenever I didn’t send a response quick enough or told them no thanks not interested especially when I am genuinely NOT interested and trying to be polite. So I just roll with the punches and thats why there is a BLOCK 🚫 BUTTON. Im not perfect but i know the type of person im interested and not looking for nonsensical chat so if that makes me the above disparaging names im called ….I can live with it.
Bobbi, I wish I could give you the biggest hug! 🩷
It genuinely makes me sad to hear how many ugly things have been said to you, especially when all you’ve done is politely decline someone’s interest. Nobody enjoys rejection, but there’s a world of difference between being disappointed and deliberately trying to hurt someone because they didn’t choose you.
And I know you well enough to know you can hold your own! But I hate how accustomed you’ve become to this nonsense. You shouldn’t have to just roll with it. You deserve better. 🩷
One of the things I admire about you is how well you know yourself and what you want. You’re not interested in wasting anyone’s time, including your own. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being selective.
And the “stamina stallion” comment! 😂 As though reaching a certain age means a woman’s interests have somehow narrowed to one very specific qualification. Good grief! Although I suppose stamina has its merits, provided there’s a functioning brain attached. 😇
Love you, Bobbi. I’m glad you’re here, and I hope you know how much you’re appreciated.🩷😘
@dairydaisy as a youngster I would immediately lash out at the bully regardless of size and strength differential. I was a short lightweight kid most of my adolescence. I paid the price with bruises and cuts. After a while “they” realized that I couldn’t be easily bullied.
As an adult giving someone a fat lip is frowned upon. Normally, I’ll turn their off color joke around on them depending on the subject. Questioning their supposed values almost always gets to them. To one coworker when he made sexist remarks I asked him how his lesbian daughters would feel about his comments. He shut up.
Being cool and in the right goes a long way in winning a contest of wills with a bully. 😉@grogman thank you so much for elaborating on this.
you are absolutely right in staying cool. I’d like to send those frowning people to ex’post on judgmental behaviour for an update. I dont like moral superiority that much.
Tell me: did your younger self already wear a hat like the one in your pic? So cute on a very angry short guy that goes after a bully!!
@lolamayi12345
Yes, I’ve been in conversations (with male and female) where I’ve felt it necessary to comment that someone’s adjectives were inappropriate or just too insulting to remain unchallenged.
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