› Personal Ads & Forum › General Discussion › Decorum in the DMs
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Andy.
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December 20, 2025 at 1:09 pm #678462
My DMs have been popping — and not in a good way.
Gentlemen (and I use that term loosely): we are in the age of social media, texting, and online dating. It’s time to gain some electronic etiquette.
Let’s review, shall we?• Unsolicited dick pics are the digital equivalent of flashing someone. That’s not bold. That’s not sexy. That’s a block.
• Repeated messages with no response can very quickly cross into harassment. Silence is an answer.
• “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” Yes, I’m on an ABF dating site. Yes, attraction is part of the deal. Decorum still applies. You’ll catch more bees with honey than whatever feral opener you just typed.
• READ THE PROFILE. If I say I’m not looking for casual, why are you in my DMs pitching casual? Did you not read… or can you not read?
• And finally — “I wish you were in [insert far-off state or continent].” My brother in breast milk… why did you waste both of our time with that message?
All this to say: we need to bring back shame. Not cruelty — standards. Social awareness. Self-respect.
This has been my rant. Do better.
December 20, 2025 at 2:01 pm #678485The first two items in your list are certainly reason to report it to admin (with screenshots).
Unsolicited explicit picture – immediately account deletion.
Multiple pestering messages – warning first, then deletion.December 20, 2025 at 2:26 pm #678488Well said Milky Goddess
December 20, 2025 at 3:19 pm #678496It is sad to read this MG, especially from someone with the depth of humanity and community spirit that you have. You contribute so much to this website and it is upsetting and annoying to think that you receive so much abuse. I hope that you report the violators and that Michael deals with them.
December 20, 2025 at 3:21 pm #678497On the internet, many people seem to forget that behind the pixels there are real people.
December 20, 2025 at 4:35 pm #678516Also when it comes to etiquette there is more to a person than what happens in the bedroom. There is more to life than sex and wanting to ride a person. I don’t care! I want to know the person not their sexual desires and fantasies.
December 21, 2025 at 12:05 am #678700sorry that you have to put up with these type of messages, but hope things will improve.
December 21, 2025 at 5:02 am #678839Sorry you’ve had to put up with this. It’s sad to say but common sense isn’t so common anymore. If you wouldn’t say it in public than don’t send it in a message to a perfect stranger. Reading profiles usually gives a decent indication of what someone is looking for.
December 21, 2025 at 6:38 pm #678975It’s sad but true, I hear this complaint on every single platform where men are looking for women, it’s the general behavior across the board.
I send messages to introduce and send just a normal g rated pic. I still hardly ever get a response but I’m sure women get like a ton of messages a day.
December 21, 2025 at 7:17 pm #678983I couldn’t agree more.
December 22, 2025 at 3:45 am #679115Love everything you wrote! So well said and I agree 100%!!!
December 22, 2025 at 5:05 am #679154So well said.
December 22, 2025 at 9:30 am #679191Proud of you MG. We are all adults, this is no game, it’s certainly not poxy fantasy either. It’s real, real people send the messages. The good, the bad and the deleted.
December 22, 2025 at 11:50 am #679196Well said.
December 22, 2025 at 3:59 pm #679332The worst ones for me are the people who appear to be all sweetness and light in main areas of the site. Then turn into love bombing, harassing, disingenuous people in messages. Messaging multiple women at the same time and subjecting them all to the same awful treatment, while trying to stay popular in the main areas so they find new unsuspecting prey when they’re found out along the way…..
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