› Personal Ads & Forum › General Discussion › Connection
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Tom.
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April 2, 2023 at 5:46 pm #263083
I know what connection and/or intimacy means to me. I’m curious what it means to others. Especially the men. Would love to hear from all though
How do you perceive connection/intimacy? What does it mean to you? How do you define it? Is it purely physical? Is it a combination of emotional and physical? Is it only emotional?
April 2, 2023 at 6:39 pm #263112A way of considering trully each other, not thinking about somebody else, appreciating little things we share and creating together something which belongs only to us. ANR allows this I suppose…
April 2, 2023 at 6:41 pm #263115Connection to me is the precursor to love. Its physical or emotional or sexual or spiritual or all of the above hopefully. A similar sense of humor to me could be added to that list. Without connection, you could be perfect for each other on paper, but have no real connection or vibe.
April 2, 2023 at 6:41 pm #263116Anonymous
InactiveI read this story and the first man she was in a relationship with at 16 describes almost exactly what intimacy means to me.
April 2, 2023 at 6:50 pm #263119Anonymous
InactiveIt seems like there’s a few facets to a connection. I’ve had it start physical, when both want to touch the other on a date, but there has to be a mutual respect.. I.e. You look up to the other person for something they’ve achieved or are. And lastly the emotional just seems to evolve when the two above are there. I agree with the poster that said it’s a precursor to love.
It’s very hard to find a connection. A lot of things get in the way. People move on so fast there really isn’t any time to develop respect etc. That makes it tough, but rewarding when you can actually connect.April 2, 2023 at 7:15 pm #263138Anonymous
InactiveMore of an emotional connection. Ability to let down the guard and relax with a person, no judgement no pretenses. Takes a bit to reach that point fully but it’s definitely the goal
April 2, 2023 at 7:29 pm #263157The connection is very strong and profound in men too Jessa. Yes, it is in part physical, because it does appeal to many of the senses in a very real way, taste, for sure, touch, the softness and warmth of her breast. Cuddling, etc. but even more so, the emotional connection and bonding that comes from sharing that level of intimacy is the most powerful, but not only, part of the experience as a whole.
April 2, 2023 at 8:30 pm #263189Anonymous
InactiveConnection, to me, is feeling comfortable and secure enough to relax, feel wanted, welcomed and appreciated. It’s not something that I can determine immediately. It is something that takes time. I’m a tough nut to crack, so if I feel secure with you, you’ve made a connection with me. I will always have things that I will be anxious expressing, but if I have a real connection with someone, I’m willing to try to overcome that anxiety to say it because I know I’m safe with them.
Connection for me is purely emotional. I can take care of all other needs myself. The one I can’t is the connection with someone else, which is why it becomes a fundamental part of my relationships.
April 2, 2023 at 8:50 pm #263202Anonymous
InactiveThis is a very interesting topic for discussion, because it’s so subjective to the individual. I think there are various different types of connections you can have with people, all of the ones you mentioned, as well as a spiritual connection.
If I had to define what a connection means, to me it means a relationship that you have with someone, that is not verbally agreed. For example, you can be very close to someone without defining your relationship with them or making a commitment to them.
April 2, 2023 at 9:22 pm #263211@rachyj I like your definition. I can relate to that.
April 2, 2023 at 9:57 pm #263226Anonymous
InactiveConnection for me is all about a couple having total acceptance of each other, in their true authentic selves. Everything else hinges off that fundamental premise of total acceptance and trust.
April 3, 2023 at 12:35 pm #263516This is such a hard thing to define, because it goes a lot on instinct for me.
Connection is having that click with someone and having the feeling that you want to spend time with them and learn more about them, but it can also be a physical reaction of wanting to be in their presence. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but to be able to be near them.
Intimacy to me, is being able to be open and vulnerable with someone in all sorts of ways, knowing that there is no judgement between you. It’s truly being able to be yourself and knowing that you’re in a safe place to be that way.
There’s way more to both connection and intimacy than I can find words for, I know what they feel like to me in the moment.
April 3, 2023 at 7:06 pm #263636For me connection creates the opportunity for intimacy. Things I connect with others on include: hobbies, activities, physical, personality, values, interests, and beliefs we have in common to name a few. Sometimes I even even connect over differences as well (opposites attract).
Intimacy for me usually begins with connection but it’s enhanced by acceptance and tolerance which creates an environment of give and take with general feelings of “I am enough”, “she gets me”, and “I can’t imagine my life without her”.
Safety for me is by far the most important aspect of intimacy, because if I do not feel safe I will connect less which diminishes intimacy. To be more specific, I not only need to feel safe to share my thoughts, feelings, and love but also safe to receive those same things in a form I prefer without judgement, control, or shaming (kindof the reason for this site).
There also needs to be certain foundational blocks to be in place before I will consider deeper intimacy. While I am ok with being friends and connect with someone who may have issues I may not become deeply intimate with that same person for marriage because of those same issues (depending on the issue).
Toxic, controlling, and selfish behaviors destroys intimacy for me by taking away safety, giving injury, and makes the relationship exhausting with a one sided relationship.
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