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I am very happily married 20 + years, I am very much into ANR, she is not. I find it sometimes frustrating that I am into it and she is not. I am not open to cheat on her, we talked about it a few time and she shuts it down. Is there anyone out there in similar situation? how do you deal with it? is it frustrating or am I making it bigger in my head than it really needs to be? how do you deal with the frustration? any help would be very appreciated.
I have heard this from many married men on this and other ANR/ABF sites. If, after intense negotiations with your wife, she will not relent and allow you to satisfy this need and have this pleasure with her, then try to negotiate with her for a platonic ABF with someone else to satisfy your need. If that does not work, you have two options…go behind her back…or prioritize your needs and life differently. Is it important enough to you to leave an otherwise satisfying marriage? Or is this the tip of the iceberg in terms of other issues you haven’t addressed in your marriage? Sometimes we want (and focus on) that which we cannot have rather than focusing on what we do have and working to make that better. If you need the suckling experience for relaxation and reducing anxiety, there are adult pacifiers that can help…or you can learn to meditate to manage frustration and anxiety.
Good luck.@yogisoul that is really solid and wise advice, I must say.
I too have come across several men and wen in the same situation and have been at a loss at what to say.@yogisoul I thank you deeply for your thoughts! No, I am not interested in leaving for this need, there are much more good things to be thankful for in the relationship. I always done what you said about looking at the good things and forget about the what I need… but yet sometimes I find myself craving it too much that I just want it….. I guess I need to work harder on that. Again, I thank you so much!
I basically agree with what Yogi said and I would like to add a few more things.
First, you need to decide how important it is to you. If this is a reason for breaking up for you, it is advisable to communicate this with your wife so that she is aware of the situation and can make a decision accordingly.
Try introducing breastfeeding on a trial basis, not too often, for example once a week for 10-20 minutes. If your wife is really a partner, she will at least be in it to try it out and gain experience.
Do it in a variety of ways, trying both very gentle and stronger sucking on the nipple, the nipple area and beyond. Use your tongue, lips and teeth, or a combination of these. Be sure to watch your wife’s reaction (e.g. leg movements, sighs, breathing, etc.) and ask what goes well or not well, so communicate.
In exchange for all this, offer something to your wife that she really likes. Otherwise, be extra attentive so that your wife notices what breastfeeding means to you. And remember that a nipple is not a straw.
It’s a fairly common frustration for married folks with all manner of kinks, desires, fetishes, and yearnings. ABF/ANR is just one of them. The advice above is solid.
I was/am in the same boat, to a greater extent.
I chose to stay married and seek fulfillment of those needs outside of that relationship. It isn’t ethical and I don’t recommend it.
But it is the best I could do.I’ve had an uncomfortable number of people on this site share their uninformed, unsought opinion of the choices I’ve made and the life I lead.
Hi Joe, a each out message to say I have been in your situation. A was in a relationship for 20 years, married for 18 of them with 2 kids. Just wasn’t happy in life, we had different interests and sex drives.
It’s not the PC thing to say but my response is to reflect that life is short, a one shot, no repeats, things won’t be as bad if you pursue your preferences in life. Thant’s what I’m doing and feel reborn!That’s why I’m choosing this site as a dating app, hoping to find a long term partner with similar interests.
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