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This is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about the past couple years and why people defend their personal opinion so heavily, and I believe it has somewhat due to the culture of the world! The world has become very opinionated almost to the point that where if you’re not of the same opinion, you’re my enemy. So because due to the culture, now me having a different opinion is an attack on you. Which I heavily dislike!
I’m often a big supporter of healthy conversation and debate, and to be honest, there’s an absolute abundance of absolutely beautiful and wonderful to the point that it’s not worth it to have tempers flare, feelings hurt, and hardened hearts. Life is too short and beautiful to be like this! So I absolutely agree with everything you said Lola, especially enjoy the boobs and have some fun 😂 but seriously though, it’s good to have some healthy conversations because that is how we can learn grow and improve as a human on earth, and understand one another!
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timingBut seriously, random showerthougts.
* Your childhood home is still out there making childhood memories for strangers.
* Every antique was once somebody’s exciting new purchase.
* We spend childhood asking permission to stay up late and adulthood wishing we could go to bed earlier.
* A password is a secret you keep proving you know by telling it to a computer.
* Somewhere, someone remembers you for something you’ve completely forgotten.
* Your dog probably thinks you’re terrible at smelling things.
* The first person to hear a parrot talk must have had a very unsettling afternoon.
* A grocery list is a prediction of who you think you’ll be this week.
* You never really finish doing laundry. You just temporarily defeat it.
* Getting older is slowly becoming the person who ruined your fun when you were younger.
* Somewhere in the world, a stranger has a photo with you in the background, and you’ll remain in their memories forever without knowing it.
* Every “overnight success” has a whole bunch of nights nobody heard about.
* Your future self is currently counting on you to do things your present self keeps postponing.
* We invented machines to save time, then invented more things to fill the time we saved.
* At some point, your parents put you down and never picked you up again.
* Somewhere on a messaging app you forgot you installed, someone might still be waiting for you to reply.Oh Lover Boy @somedeafguy674, I think you’re onto something about the culture we’ve created around opinions. ❤️ It’s almost as though we’ve forgotten that someone can see the world differently without being on the opposing team! And I love what you said about life being too short. There’s so much to enjoy and so much we can learn from each other. I’d hate for us to miss out on either because we’re too busy being offended. And when all else fails, there are always boobs!❤️😎
“So I’m curious…
What makes a difference of opinion turn into an argument? And are you someone who enjoys having your thinking challenged, or do you sometimes catch yourself getting defensive, too?”
Well, I’m someone who loves having his thinking challenged and invites it. My only condition really is that my thoughts (having been expressed clearly) be taken at face value as a prerequisite for any coherent and fulfilling challenge being made to them.
Some people find that surprising difficult to do – that is, to listen and comprehend – resulting in a somewhat chaotic and misdirected challenge to the boundaries of my thought rather than to the actual thought itself.
Sadly, this almost always happens without the challenger having the capacity to recognise the difference (even when explained to them), with the consequence of this muddle being that a challenge to a thought descends into being a common fight over boundaries… and a lost opportunity.
@barnie, you’ve actually illustrated something I was getting at in my post rather beautifully!
There’s a difference between someone failing to understand your argument and someone understanding it perfectly well but finding it unconvincing.
I think conversations go sideways when we appoint ourselves the authority on whether someone else has understood us, particularly when the only acceptable proof of comprehension seems to be agreement.
After all, being open to having our thinking challenged means being willing to consider that the other person might have a perfectly valid point, even when we’d much rather believe they simply didn’t understand ours.
And Peter, I do appreciate you stopping by to provide such a timely example of the very thing we’re discussing. Always a pleasure.😉
What I don’t understand is why it’s even happening in the first place. Like I’ll admit I wasn’t perfect either but I was also like..23 my frontal lobe wasn’t fully developed lol. It’s kind of embarrassing when I see 30-40 something year old dudes pull this, guess parents didn’t raise right idk. And to comment on why I think guys don’t give quality responses is some probably did but kept getting left on read so it was just so demotivating. I personally get that from experience. I know I’m not owed a response but it gets annoying when you take the time to write something and not even get a hey thanks lol. It’s crazy cause it’s not even just dudes. I have had a couple woman message me “Hey” like give me more to go off of 😭
@nowlan3 🫶🏻 I’m laughing at the frontal lobe defense! But I do think there’s something to be said for emotional maturity, and age certainly doesn’t guarantee it.😉
And I get why putting thought into a message and hearing nothing back can be discouraging. But I also think we have to be careful not to let a few disappointing interactions dictate how we treat the next person. They haven’t done anything to deserve our frustration.
And apparently the dreaded “Hey” knows no gender! 😉😘
I hear you, don’t worry.
I didnt mention selfreflection because its automatically there. Always.
Hey @lolamayi12345 it goes a little like this; I once thought I was wrong, but it turned out that I was just mistaken.😜😂🤣
Not the type of mindset for critical thinking.
“There’s a difference between someone failing to understand your argument and someone understanding it perfectly well but finding it unconvincing.”
It’s actually rather easy to ascertain if someone has understood your argument perfectly well (or even well enough) prior to any challenge to it being made. Just invite them to repeat, in summary, what your argument actually is.
A simple “Are you’re saying that…?” query from the challenger enables anything that doesn’t belong in your argument to be spotted and discarded at the outset.
This filtering also leaves the challenger with something known and inside of your argument to be unconvinced by… rather than their being unconvinced by something unknown (at least to you) and outside of it.
Result? A harmonious, structured and relevant challenge.
😂😂 Well, that’s certainly one way to maintain a perfect record! Never wrong, just occasionally mistaken. I may have to borrow that one @grogman 😜❤️
@barnie, clarifying someone’s argument is certainly useful. No disagreement there. But confirming that someone understands your position doesn’t establish that your position is sound, nor does it guarantee a harmonious discussion.
Someone can accurately summarize every word of your argument and still find its assumptions questionable, its reasoning flawed, or its conclusions unconvincing.
And I think that’s where things get interesting. Are we genuinely inviting our ideas to be challenged, or are we so invested in being understood on our own terms that we struggle to entertain the possibility that someone understands us perfectly well and still thinks we’re wrong?
After all, the goal of critical thinking isn’t simply to establish that everyone understands our reasoning. It’s to remain willing to question it ourselves.
And as always Peter, such a pleasure having you demonstrate the complexities of productive disagreement for us.
There will always be differences of opinions, thoughts, understandings, etc.
Idealistically those are opportunities to learn and compromise however, there are just somethings that one just can’t accept.
It is better to discover and move on…
A simple “I’m moving on” is what I prefer and as previously mentioned “BLOCKED” occasionally appears.
Best Wishes.
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