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Sorry if I offended you ever.. its not my intention to offend anyone. I autistic and social interactions do not come naturally… I try to be funny but it doesn’t always come out that way and I’m sorry…
I just try and do my best… I am grateful for all the advice I have been given over the years…
Some of the people in chat although I don’t show it I am happy to chat with you…. I like that we try to allow everyone to be the best they can…
I’m not aware of anything that’s happened in chats because I have never joined. I have ADHD, so I find it difficult to keep up with various different conversations and multiple people in a conversation. As someone who is neurodivergent, I understand the social anxiety thing, people don’t get it. That’s why I’m so open about my ADHD and I think you’re doing the right thing but being upfront about your autism. Even if people don’t really understand, they tend to be more forgiving when they know you’re a bit “special” lol 🤪
Hmmmm are you just looking for attention with this post? I am in chat and haven’t seen anything offensive. If there is a specific person you may have offended it is best to message them directly, and with intent.
Otherwise, I hope to see you in chat!
(sorry)
I’m am not looking for attention rather trying to make awareness that actions made by others may not be intended to offend anyone… and that I am sorry for offending Chat yesterday….
If you want to reach out to me directly my dm’s are open…
Ps. There are some people that block people without even interacting with that person so, you can’t tell them anything in private thou this is a general statement
It probably took a bit for you to reach out in this way. Fortunately, you’ve received as much empathy as you’ve received scorn. It’s a pity you attracted the latter.
We’re all human and certain things offend universally. But like @rachyj said, having that little bit of extra background information can help those that give a 4K appreciate that no harm was intended.
Does this mean not shouldering your share of responsibility, within your neuro abilities? Nope, no hall passes for rudeness.
ADHD, autism, Asperger’s … It’s a cross we bear. I began to understand my legion of foibles once I recognised the possibility of being neurodivergent. Like you, there’ll always be the lesser informed that assume that everyone processes information and engagement in a predictable manner.
I wish you luck in navigating the neurotypical world of assumptions. 🤗
This apology by @titmilklover has all the hallmarks of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria RSD. Autism and RSD are commonly co-occurring.
Second guessing whether offense has been caused. Ruminating over past comments. Assuming fault. Imagined Imperfection. Imposter syndrome.
Scientists have discovered,by studying the brain, that there is a Neural Overlap Between Social Rejection and Physical Pain. For you as an observer in the chatroom, you noticed nothing amiss. No social rejection. But what if @titmilklover absolutely thought he had stepped on some toes and was at risk of social exclusion? Whether it’s imagining that he’s being ignored in the chat room, to discovering he’s been blocked.
@titmilklover, I don’t know you from Adam. I may be far reaching here, but do have a look at some online resources on RSD to see if any of it resonates.Hugs and kisses! 🤗
@sweetdarkcanvasuk I sent you a lengthy dm… Thank you for bringing some things to light…
There is many reasons for this and no I don’t think I should get a pass just because I’m neurodivergent rather, I hope the community will TEACH me to be a better person and tell me when I fuck up… I fear that some just think I will be offended and just not tell me till it’s out of control.
There have been more than one person that has told me I did xyz too many times and now please don’t chat with me ever..
I have gotten insults in dms before and I feel if people knew I’m different they might help and not burn me alive
June, I realise this reply was not in response to my comment, but I just want to add to what you said about RSD. It can easily rear its ugly head even without any judgement or criticism from anyone else, and certainly in the case of someone with ADHD, lead a neurodivergent person to automatically assume we’re pissing people off unintentionally, even without anyone saying anything to make us think that.
Yes @rachyj. I totally agree. It’s a tortuous place to be. 😔
Hmmm, I checked my DMs but didn’t see any at all. Hope the site gremlins didn’t chew it up and spit it out into the ether.
I so appreciate your input on this June and RachyJ. TY for being a positive influence.
As someone with ADHD (and possibly ASD as well. Yay for dual diagnosis! 😅💀), I concur that RSD is one of the worst/hardest parts about being neurodivergent. Text-based communication can be a loaded mine field as well because we lose so much context and tone… It’s why I tend to add a lot of smileys, (asides), and overly explainitory compensation.
For me, the biggest helps fighting the RSD in forums and chats has been 1) learning to recognize and name it as it happens, so it loses much of its down-spiraling power; and 2) realizing and reminding myself that 90%+ of what people say is far more about them than about me.
People will always interpret words through their own biases and the best we can do is try to be as clear as possible with saying what we intend, but forgiving ourselves for not being able to speak directly to everyone’s individual brains. While it’s absolutely a good idea to learn to take responsibility when we eff up, if it’s not an interaction you can learn positive feedback from and take actionable steps to improve in future then it’s best to just let it go and give yourself some slack. We are *always* our own worst critics.
That’s very insightful. I hope people who are struggling with these issues see this comment, as it really helps put things in perspective if you can process it in real time, rather than getting upset and then trying to get over it. Thankyou.
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