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“We’re not as open about sex as we imagine” Gillian Anderson on pleasure, powerful women, and collecting secret fantasies in her new book “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous”, collected by Gillian Anderson, is published in the UK by Bloomsbury on 5 September, priced at £18.99
Good afternoon people of ABF, I have decided to begin a Blog Discussion thread on here re my posts, but also other content I’ll share on here. See my blog here New posts hopefully this evening!
I’d like to share this article and my thoughts following the wonderful audio chat with @nurturgbosom and @nippleWizard plus some of you @bodhitree, @traveller and all who came Saturday evening. Also relevant to some conversations had the past few days re me, my age, and why women when they get to a certain point in their lives can go two ways: most will lose interest in sex, especially with menopause or when drowning in societal norms which silence and shackle them. Others will finally break free and like the mermaids they are, recover their voice instead of becoming “foam” and fading into the background, refusing to be silenced, but ultimately living “our best life” and finally walking our true path. I think you all know to which group I belong… 😉
This article, relevant to a book by Gillian Anderson, which I will be getting (and will do a book review as part of my Sophia Unveiled Blog), like my own content for the blog, is screaming out what is wrong in today’s relationships which has also affected ABF; the prevalence of shame. Or in Jungian psychology, how we repress our shadow-side, feeling embarrassed, guilty and definitely SHAME.
The X file’s star’s book, based on My Secret Garden, the 1973 classic by Nancy Friday, is a compilation of anonymous letters by women sharing their sexual fantasies, and:
“many of them, observed Anderson, still need permission to voice a desire – not just in public, but, “more shockingly, even in our private worlds”. To her amazement, the 56-year-old discovered she was not herself immune to this inhibition. Called upon to submit her own fantasy, Anderson says: “I kept putting it off and putting it off. I’m not a prude by any stretch and I can say any words out loud. But writing it down? I got really uncomfortable.”
I agree re this which is why I plunged into the deep end of the pool some years ago and have been going beyond my comfort zone; to free myself and become, who I always was…also in terms of sexuality, for the goddesses within spoke to me, and would not be silenced.
I will also quote this article re what Nurturing Bosom stated as to how she found Nipplewizzard, after being single by choice for a while and knowing exactly what she wanted (needs vs wants). What I call “non-negotiable” aspects and why I walk away from things not meant for me, so that the the things THAT ARE MEANT FOR ME…will find me!
“To embrace these opportunities, she has, at times, had to push against her own nature. Her first instinct in life is often to “sit down, indoors, in a dark room”, so becoming an entrepreneur has been largely a question of “not running away”.
She says: “Particularly at a certain age, particularly now for some reason, there are more and more women who are saying, ‘Fuck it, even though I’m 60, I’m going to start something new.’ A new business, a new relationship, a new venture. Just throwing everything to the wind. I don’t know if it’s going to succeed or fail, but I’m having fun, and the narrative that we’re building around it, and the encouragement other women are feeling as a result of seeing it, is – embrace it! Don’t run away; run towards it!”
Now, while I’m still in my 40s, I’ve been awakened for the last decade or longer and completely different to most women back then at that age, but also now. This is how I’ve always been actually. The plan isn’t not having a plan, but having the plan that your heart has known all along, and removing all the obstacles to make it a reality, by really following our hearts and “our gut feeling” – yup, that’s our soul talking…
I have a loose plan for my near-future, and many things on a bucket list, as well as things I will not compromise on that. I have no control over what life may throw my way, but somehow by being genuine and true, I have been ticking off those items in my “draft” life plan and my life has slowly been surprising me.
Call me a rebel, mermaid, intense (when you don’t really understand that I’m passionate) but regardless, I am true and authentic to my calling and path. I’m also embodying the “Just DO IT” Nike tagline, unafraid, willing to risk because that is the only way we can gain in life, and willing to go beyond my comfort zone. To inspire women and others to get their voice back, to walk the journeys meant for them… hence the blog.
Happiness does not come easy. It requires effort and choosing the “road not taken”, what ARE YOU willing to do for true happiness?
(which may include lactation in your path) – I’d love some thoughts…
I had a discussion re this too a while back with a mentor, on how healed and spiritual people who crave depth struggle to find a partner. I am not really looking although I have not completely closed the door on this but can relate to my previous post re Gillian Anderson’s statement but also this:
How many people are actually not healed (the work is ongoing) or willing to work on their issues, which ultimately stands in the way of what they truly want? Who’s with me on this?
I’m with you on this. Indeed every day is both a learning & a healing day. As we age it’s more of a challenge to meet those “ Right “ or “ Good “ people who embrace and appreciate the same value’s and desires we hold.
Thanks so much Chris, I really appreciate your message! I hope you are doing well this week, kinda swamped with documents and getting into my MA but nothing new there 😉
Values and ethics should be at the top of the list for all of us, as when we over-compromise and settle, it never ends well..
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