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@pandaesque! Just to weed out any deceptive people or spam. Confirming gender. Not on this website but I have had such experience… guy talking as women.
So I think that women’s safety is a paramount. This type of lifestyle choice and website I believe should be women oriented. And not to mention that if women don’t feel safe they will simply leave. It seems like the women on here are by far outnumbered by the men.
But maybe not just a bad reviews but also “highly rec” list as well?
If another women says she met with this particular person and they were safe and respected her boundaries I think that would also encourage more women to want to talk to that person.When I joined I did have to provide an extremely brief audio recording to Admin for verification purposes. Is that no longer required?
I would like to encourage everyone to make a donation for use of the site. It’s a small donation & for the amount of members I see on here, it would be nice to have more paying members.
There are a lot of things that make me feel comfortable and/or uncomfortable as I am getting to know a man on the site. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to genuinely connect & communicate with men. Many seem as though this is a passing fancy for them & “we”, women are a Side Show at the Circus! They come on strong, giddy & ohhh so excited that they may get to see some humongous “titty’s”, their words, not mine. Then something distracts them, like a squirrel that is crossing the road, they then say they will be right back & I will hear from them anywhere from 7 to 3 years later!!! This is all true & I have the “receipts” to prove it! 🙄🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
I would actually like for everyone to be required to have a verified, profile picture of themselves with no obstructions such as sunglasses, hat, etc. I’ve discovered many times men do not want to share photos of themselves. I don’t ask immediately out of courtesy. Yet after chatting, I feel it’s appropriate for both parties to do so. If a man isn’t willing to share a clear photo of himself, I do not want to converse with him. I want to know who I’m talking to, that they are a real man, not some random person in a boiler room or some kind of ChatBOT. If they resist it makes me suspect of their behavior & personal life. I have two pictures in my Media that Friends can see & I have plenty more that I’m willing to share. A video chat available on the site is also a great way for members to vet one another. There is no reason for anyone to attempt to hide their physical identity from another member if you are sincerely interested in connecting in real life.
I definitely feel there should be a relationship status category & it should be very specific. I have learned many men are in a relationship or married & merely omitted that detail about their life or only mention it after speaking & interacting with them for quite a while. Pre-Pandemic I had a meet with one man & he did not tell me the truth until after the meet. I have no interest in spending that kind of time with a man that has a girlfriend, wife or is otherwise attached. I’m sure there are other women that may be fine with that & that is ok.
I feel like there should be a Tobacco use category.
I feel there should be an Alcohol category.
I feel there should be an Illegal Substance category.
I feel there should be a Covid Shot category.
I feel there should be a category indicating if the member is only interested in a Virtual situation or a Relationship in real life. Crazy, I know, I thought everyone was here for the same thing! I’m not looking for a Pen Pal, endless conversations for days, weeks on end on the site, via my Smart Phone night after night after night after night! Apparently some members are & that’s ok for them, it’s not ok for me. Although some have said “I’m looking for a LTR with ANR being part of it.” Endlessly messaging is not on my Agenda. Yes, I have something similar to this in my profile but it seems a lot of people do not read & comprehend the content of profiles.
I feel there should be a category if a person is willing to relocate, how far or stay where they live.
I feel there should be a category if a person has children, under/over 18? Living at home, regardless of age?
I see men on here, online, who I have chatted with a year or two or three years ago cycle back through that ghosted me after we had plans, no call, no text, no nothing. I have several other examples of how men have exhibited incredibly poor manners & judgment when it wasn’t necessary. We’re all adults here with one thing in common, we may not have everything in common but there is this one common denominator. For the love of Gawd, can we please be kind, nice & respectful to one another. A simple, “I don’t think we would be a good match.” early on is appropriate & painless. Don’t make empty promises & ridiculous excuses! No one believes you, well, at least I haven’t, when you’ve tried to give me those lines! You only make yourself look foolish!
These are some of my experiences & I tried to keep it as generic as I could so I didn’t “identify” anyone. ❤️Of course safety for both involved is of great importance. Photos are important. A camera doesn’t lie. Saying that sending photos from years ago some could still lie. Why, I don’t get it. The timewasters building up a strong connection, wanting to meet and have ABF. Mislead then ghost on an actual date, never show up. Why are you on here. Building a friendship, tell others you are meeting up. No pressure, no expectations.
Me personally, I’ve had some great experiences with ABF on the first meet, also have met for coffee and then met the following week. I’ve also had the other side of meeting at the agreed location only to ghosted. No show, hotel rooms paid for nothing. We are responsible adults. Be safe, be open minded. Communicate in a way which you want to be respected.Thank you Liz, Cindy and QD, for taking time and putting in the effort to share your thoughts.
Safety is important, for women and men.
I like the idea of equality. Everybody needs to verify, or to deliver a voice that or a profile pic in person. Not just women or just men.
Cindy, i stand with you in your comment on reactions to pics and the feeling we are in a circus. Its the reason i rarely share pics. Certainly not in the spicy chat.
Thank you for all your suggestions. Very interesting!I believe that Michael implemented the voice message from new ladies in order to protect ladies who are already registered.
Profiles can be fake and pictures can be fake.
OK I have certain trust issues, I fully acknowledge that and definitely do not intend to shame anyone here, however, it is interesting to note how often when an undesirable experience occurs that the victim says “Looking back the signs were there…” or “I see that now… etc”. I have suffered this myself.
Everybody – please be careful to yourself first. The best way of filtering is through vigilant communication. Question. Probe. Get to know someone. I understand requests for greater security measures, but we all have an individual responsibility to protect ourselves too.
Hi Ed,
Of course there is an ind8vidual responsibility. Yiu dont have to tell women, we deal with it every day. This is about supporting each other staying safe.
You cant blame victims for being a good person and wanting to believe in the good 8n other people.
It would be nice if men had to deliver a voice message too, becoming a member of this community.My comment was intended to be supportive. I was definitely not victim-blaming.
I think there are two sides for safety, physical safety and emotional safety. As far as emotional safety goes, unfortunately that is a risk that is nearly impossible to completely mitigate in any kind of dating. Although, I do think that some of people do find it easier to emotionally hurt someone online without feeling guilty, they do it in person to unfortunately. Women connecting and being supportive of each other with open and honest communication can help some avoid the habitual offenders. I myself know of a couple on this site. Being a manipulative piece of shit is not against the rules, calling them out publicly is though.
In regards to physical safety, that is something that anyone meeting anyone from the internet should be very mindful. Of course women have higher risk of being physically harmed by men more then the reverse, but everyone should be careful. Meeting in a public place at least the first few times, having someone that you let know where you are going, who you are meeting, how long you should be, and contact when you leave can be helpful. Most of all, trust your instincts.Thank you Jessica!
I totally agree with you on emotional safety. Luckily i met some women on here i could talk too when i needed too.
Being more experienced online its more easy to recognize manipulative behaviour, but god, everbody can get hurt by a misjudgment of course.
Some women have reached out to me too, so thats perfectly fine of course.
It sure helps to have each other’s backs!
We cant do anything a out physical safety on this site of course, except for creating more awareness. I am going to add to your tips:
Always trust your gutfeeling when it says something is off. Stop being polite and walk away.
Secondly: set your boundaries men and women! Someone who cant respect them online will certainly not respect them in real life. Sugarcoated messages that cross lines when you clearly said no are a perfect example of manipulative behaviour.
Dont fall for it.I think it’s a good thing to be aware of this. In my point of view a video call might be a good starting point before you meet in real life. So you can get a second judgment of said person, the first obviously is the chatting function.
I’ve heard from a lady I’ve met on another side that she had done so and agreed to meet someone for an anr session and this person didn’t show up, only after an hour or so he said he didn’t want to come. Which suck big time in my point of view.
And as probably said before, a cafe or restaurant where you know and/or inform the staff might be a good and safe starting point as well
Thank you Jochem! Great tips too.
And whrn somebody is harrassing you: see in the yellow parts on top of this forum in the yellow part the post Michael_admin wrote on what to do: contact him and make a screenshot.Your right Daisy, it takes two to combine in the ABF world, something you should unite together in. Your right saying men’s safety is equally important physically and emotionally. It’s a beautiful togetherness. Sadly sometimes the togetherness gets ripped apart by either party and then it’s dealing with all the frustrations, disappointments, the letdown, the heartache and love shattered beyond repair.
Stay safe everyone, you will find what your looking for one day.
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